Four Freedoms Plaza

Streets Ahead: FF 50th Anniversary Variants

2011-08-05T00:15:00.002-05:00

Hey all, Kello here to unveil yet another fantastic feature that is guaranteed to take the internet by storm! Every now and then I'll come across something FF-related (be it fan art, variant covers, apparel, action figures, etc.) that's so cool it could be deemed Streets Ahead. For those of you unfamiliar with the term, "streets ahead" means these items somehow go above and beyond the normal standard of FF excellence. (And yes I totally ripped off the term from the blatantly hilarious TV show Community. See the end of the post for more details.)

Today's Streets Ahead item is the set of ever-expanding Fantastic Four 50th Anniversary covers Marvel has been sprinkling into their releases throughout the year. After all, if the calculator on my computer is correct, 2011-1961 = 50. Wow, the team looks great for their age! Well, except Reed. He looks about right. And Johnny, who looks a little dead. Tangents aside, check the covers, which highlight a sampling of some of the shared shenanigans of Marvel's First Family from the past 5 decades!

(X-men #16 Featuring the Byrne-era lineup.)

(X-Men Legacy# 245 Featuring the FF's most hated foes/ frenemies)

(X-Men #7 With a Rockwellesque homage to the original lineup )

(Fear Itself #1 Featuring everyone's favorite substitute lineup!!!)

(FF #1 Featuring the Frightful Four)

So there you go. Weren't those neat? I hope you enjoyed the inaugural (and probably final) edition of Streets Ahead.

And remember, "If you have to ask, you're streets behind."

Fantastic Four # 331

2011-08-02T12:00:00.002-05:00

Fantastic Four 331-“Good Dreams Part 2: The Menace of the Metal Man!”
Cover Date October 1989 Price $1.00 (Price Increase!)
Writer/ Artist-John Harkness/ Rich Buckler
Cover Tagline: “It's a Dream! It's a Hoax! It's an Imaginary Story! And it's Also Ultron!"
Number of issues between the last box pull: 2 (thank goodness)

Hey FFans, so glad you could make it back! It's the dapper and dashing Kello here, delighting in my duty to disseminate Fantastic Four reviews which not only dazzle the masses, but defy expectations! Today we're looking at a comic that by it's own admission DOES NOT MATTER. Almost everything that occurs in the plot is imaginary, assuring it will be discarded once the arc is over. Doesn't that make you just want to dive right in?! Well, don't be dubious, I promise I'll do my best to make it a fun trip...

What Happened: We open on the Fake FF (who were created by the dread Watcher known as Aron in issue 328) as they beat up a magician.

No, the magician wasn't evil or anything, they just don't like how this "fraud" charges people money for such mundane illusions. The Fake FF goes so far as to show the audience how the performer does his tricks! Man, they're worse than that masked guy from "Magic's Biggest Secrets Revealed."

Reed, is that you?

Anywho, The Fake FF is up in arms because the audience is willing to pay money to see such hackneyed parlor tricks, when the FF have been dealing out real live powers for years without seeing any kick backs. To remedy this oversight, the Fake FF institute a "Fantasti-Tax." This means citizens must pay for the Fantastic Four's continued allegiance. The crowd is understandably indignant towards Reed's announcement. I mean who wants to pay for something they can get for free? (This paragraph sponsored by bit torrent comics)

Isn't this comic from 1989? Whatever happened to "No new taxes"?

After the pronouncement of the "Fantasti-tax", the scene shifts to Aron the Watcher's secret Canadian lair. Because any good villain knows that the Great White North is the best place to have a hidden cave of evil. While its been 2 issues since Aron captured the team, it's obvious I didn't miss anything. The real FF is still trapped in tubes, having fevered dreams of sweet nothings.

Each issue of this arc spotlights a different member of the real FF as they're conked out. This time around we get to peek into the dreams of Reed Richards. What does ol' Stretcho dream of anyway? My guess is he sees a life with no pesky family or friends to get in the way of him and his one true love- science!!!

It turns out his family is alive and well in his dreams, but Reed is even more of a super nerd than before. while the scenes between him and his family are dreadfully plain, there are a few things that stick out as completely awkward. First of all, Reed won't shut up about his new personal computer, the "Turino XL." Seriously, he's a bigger shill for the Turino than Jared is for Subway. The other thing that jumps out in an undeniably awkward manner is the way the rest of the team utters the phrase "Darn your socks."

Is "darn your socks" a euphemism? I'm kind of a prude,
but that doesn't even make sense!

As the team heads their separate ways in an attempt to avoid anymore of Reed's sales pitch, they're faced with some rather ominous occurrences. As Ben and Sharon ride the elevator, it gets jostled loose and begins to drop. Thankfully Sharon saves the day, and the two decide to hike back up the 50 stories to see what happened. While the two lovebirds make their ascent, Sue encounters something going down in the Robotics Lab of Four Freedoms. She calls Reed in and explains that she sensed an unusual force field in the room.

Reed investigates, and finds that his wife isn't just acting "hysterical" (like normal), but that the defenses have indeed been tampered with. Fearing for his family's safety, Reed calls his young son to come away from the Robotics Lab. In a twist of fate/ giant coincidence/ excuse-to-move-the-plot along Franklin's Scrabble game is knocked to the floor and Reed figures out the culprit behind all the weirdness in the building:

Duh. It was soooo obvious...right?

Ultron XI then reveals himself and his newest plan for world domination. It seems that he plans on using the electronics in the Turinos to infiltrate the homes in America.
Yep, that's the plot. Ultron wants to invade America using the rising demand for personal computers. Thankfully Sharon and Ben reenter the scene and the "She -Thing" puts an end to all this mischief. While the scene lasts about 9 pages too long (it clocks in at 12 altogether), Shary takes the opportunity to kick some serious robo-booty.

The issue ends with the real Reed slumbering peacefully like a baby genius, while the insidious Fake FF continue their endless quest to impose the "Fantasti-Tax." If you haven't noticed by now, the notion of the "Fantasti-Tax" entertains me to no end!

What I Thought: I have a love/hate relationship with these types of issues. The cover's admission that the entire story is a "hoax", as well as the reveal of Ultron as the surprise villain renders the interior story moot. If you're reading this, it means I willingly forfeited my precious God-given time in favor of something that is absolutely pointless. That's the bad part.

The good part? This issue's ample imperfections make it perfect fodder for a site like Four Freedoms. The entire plot revolving around the rise of PCs in the home nicely dates the story, something I always appreciate when chronicling back issues.

I still have to question Aron the Watcher's endgame. Aron's original intention for creating the Fake FF was out of some type of borderline admiration for the real team. Unless some other motivations were revealed in the 2 issues I missed, my question is now "Why would Aron want his Fake FF to start ripping off citizens?" I can't believe he needs the money, although I'm sure secret Canadian lairs don't come cheap. I mean his monthly "sleeping tube" costs alone must be astronomical! This was unclear to me, and hopefully the next few issues will shed some light on his fiendish reasoning.

And as always, we here at Four Freedoms try to be as fair and balanced as Fox News, so there were some parts of this issue worth mentioning. Rich Buckler handles art duties on this issue, and he does a great job of conveying a bombastic sense of action. The scenes with Shary "She-Thing" "The Body" Ventura going toe-to-toe with Ultron are rather brutal looking. It goes a long way in establishing some credibility for such an obviously lame hero as the female Thing. She now ranks slightly above the Lady Stilt-Man , but somehow still below X-23 in the pantheon of ridiculous female comic book counterparts. So in other words, she still has a long way to go.

And although he gets pwned worse than I do when I play Call of Duty, it's nice to see Ultron in an FF comic. I like when villains break away from the heroes they normally associate and mix it up a little. You know, even if continuity-wise it never really happened...

Well that's about it for me. The next issue promises to show us "Johnny's Dream." I've seen the future, and let me tell you, Johnny's dream is mostly about his sister. If that doesn't incite your curiosity enough to want to come back, well then I understand. But if you're like me and morbid curiosity always wins the day, I'll see you soon! Until I start charging a "Fantasti-Tax" for access to this site, Vive La Fantastique!

SHUT UP ALREADY!

Fantastic Four #328

2011-07-27T21:24:00.026-05:00

Fantastic Four 328-“Bad Dream”
Cover Date July 1989 Price $.75
Writer/ Artist-John Harkness/ Keith Pollard
Cover Tagline: “What can one man do?" "Ben Grimm vs. The Frightful Four"
Number of issues between the last box pull: 0

(UGH. After last issue's review it's quite evident I need to proofread both my posts and my comics more closely. It was pointed out to me that I repeatedly referred to the Wizard as the Psycho Man. I apologize on behalf of Four Freedoms for such gargantuan flubs. But instead of dwelling on my shortcomings, I'm going to follow the FF's example and soldier on in the face of adversity. Without further jibber jabber, let's dive back into "the box!")

What Happened: Picking up from last issue, the Frightful Four have finally bested the FF after years of failure. Though a majority of the Frightful Four (I think I'll call them Fright4 from now on) is stupefied by how this victory was achieved, it's revealed that the Wizard had enlisted the help of the Dragon Man and a Watcher named Aron. That's right! THE Aron. Menace of the Marvel Universe, thorn in the side of--wait, who the heck is Aron!? Thankfully it's all answered for us...

Aron is a Watcher who idolizes the always intrusive Uatu. He was so enamored with the FF that he took the liberty of obtaining "tissue samples" of most of the members while they were on the moon during a previous adventure. The only hero whose tissue Aron missed was Johnny Storm's. So after teaming up with the Fright4, Aron helps himself to some of the hero's DNA. I'm not sure if explaining his motives made the necessity of his presence in this story any more clear...

Anyway, having obtained his sample, Aron turns to take leave of the Fright4. This angers the Wizard, who thought Aron was going to fall in line with the rest of his team and finally finish off the Fantastic Four. Aron tells the Wizard he could blink him out of existence if he wanted to, but the Fright4 try to beat up Aron and the Dragon Man anyway.

They lose the fight. Quickly.

Aron leaves, and the Fright4 ponder what to do with an unconscious FF. Personally, I would pull on Reed's arms like he was a Stretch Armstrong.

Time passes, and a concerned Ben Grimm arrives to investigate the site of the FF and Fright4's battle. Some cops at the crime scene tip Ben off that the Dragon Man was spotted during the melee, which gives Ben enough of a lead to head back to Four Freedoms Plaza.

Officer O'Malley says: "Move along, Nuthin to see"

While there, he and Alicia Masters contact the Jade temptress known as the She-Hulk, because she was one of the last heroes to tangle with the Dragon Man. She-Hulk tells Ben to go to 34th Street to look for the purple monster.

Ben and Alicia head down 34th Street and start asking the locals if they've seen a giant purple dragon recently. An old man points them to a spot where he may or may not have seen some thing at some point in time (yeah, he's about that helpful). As Ben and Alicia sleuth out the location of the FF in this random office building, something rather peculiar happens:

It would appear that Ben is hallucinating that he is talking to people. When Alicia tries to warn Ben he's acting weird, a shapeshifting monster attacks! Of course these turn out to be tricks Ben's mind is playing on him, which leads Aunt Petunia's favorite nephew to conclude someone doesn't want him snooping around. Using all his cunning, Ben stealthily creeps about looking for any other things out of the ordinary. Did I mention Ben's definition of "stealthily" involves smashing through a door in a maddened rampage?

In the perfect marriage of rage and coincidence (a.k.a bad writing), Ben just happens to smash the door to the Frightful Four's lair. The FF is being held captive in tubes, and Grimm decides to free them himself. He spends the next few pages getting the drop on the Fright4, freeing his friends, and generally kicking copious amounts of butt.

The sound effects alone are worth the price of admission.

Well that's it for this issue, right? Just another late 80's comic with an incoherent plot and references to Micheal Douglas movies. It seems pretty standard: good guys win, bad guys lose, and we can finally put all this Frightful Four nonsense behind us. EXCEPT as they're carting the baddies away, the FF and Frightful Four are suddenly whisked off to Aron's secret hideout.

The rogue Watcher reveals his master plan: a cloned team of the Fantastic Four! (And I die a little inside because it seems this story will NEVER end).

What I Thought: There's hardly any sense in dissecting the merit of this ridiculous plot, so I'm going to point out the few positive things I could find.

First of all, Keith Pollard's art is excellent as always. As far as I'm concerned, Marvel should have just printed his art without any dialogue, and this story would have made a lot more sense. Granted all the readers out there would have to fill-in-the-blanks, but I'm sure whatever we could dream up is more coherent and acceptable than the given explanations. Cool, I just slammed the plot and complimented the art in one fell swoop!

The other really neat thing about this issue is how it showcases the awesomeness that is Ben Grimm. Despite a lack of rocky skin and super strength, Grimm manages to maintain his superhero status in spades. Maybe it's because I just watched Die Hard, but Ben reminds me of a full-on early 90's action hero in this issue. Hunting down leads, jumping headlong into battle against nearly insurmountable odds, fighting his belt (see below), and saving his best girl are all in a day's work for this macho war machine. This issue should have been titled something along the lines of "Ben Grimm With A Vengeance."

So until Aron the Watcher becomes the most popular character in the Marvel Universe, vive la fantastique!

I don't care what you do in private, Grimm, but this is supposed to be a family friendly site!

Fantastic Four #327

2011-07-25T23:13:00.023-05:00

Fantastic Four 327-“Why?!!”
Cover Date Jun 1989 Price $.75
Writer/ Artist-John Harkness (if that is your real name!)/ Keith Pollard
Cover Tagline: “The Thing-- No More!"
Number of issues between last box pull: 0

Hey FFans, long time no write! Actually at this point, it's probably just "FFan", and I may or may not be referring to myself. Anywho, it's your flagrantly farcical friend Kello here, back with another frenetic foray into the world of everyone's favorite family of adventurers!

...In other words, I'm gonna tell you about some old Fantastic Four comic. Yes, I've dipped back into the "box" for the follow up to March's Fantastic Four #326 review. What, you've forgotten that review already? Seriously, it was only 4 months ago...

What Happened: Our story dives right in with a close-up shot of Ben Grimm shouting the most appropriate question one could ask regarding this comic- "WHY?!!" Surprised that he unexpectedly returned to his human form after being zapped by a ray at the end of last issue, Ben is now caught in the middle of a battle royal (with cheese) between the Frightful Four and the Fantastic Four.

This fierce fracas goes on for a significant amount of pages, and everyone gets a turn trying out some late 80's hero/villain banter:

After both sides get some good licks in, The Frightful Four retreat out the window and the FF decide not to give chase. Instead they hang back and admire Ben's transformation from big orange rocky looking guy in underwear to relatively big human looking guy in underwear. Of course, this leads to some dramatic tension, because a.) Without powers, Ben can no longer lead the FF, and b.) Pretty much the only commonality Ben has with his current girlfriend is that they're fugly rock monsters. It's ok though, both problems get resolved for the time being, as Ben hugs his "woman" and Reed plots to wrest control of the group.

Speaking of teams with tension, we're next treated to the Frightful Four's post-game pow-wow. Instead of focusing on the positives ("I really liked the way you threatened Franklin Richards, Klaw. You know how to pick on vulnerable people") , the ne'er do wells blame each other for the shared failure.

This gives Wizard pause, and he steals away for a page of "me time."

During a rather long-winded soliloquy, Wizard blurts out that going up against Reed and his entire family has taught him that Richards' reliance on his emotions is his biggest weakness. "The Wiz" asserts that he has the upper hand, because all the people he associates with are simply underlings whom he cares nothing for. Wizard then goes on to talk about hiring a mysterious new ally, and we see some not-so-subtle foreshadowing of a Giant Dragon flying outside the window. It almost looks like a "Dragon Man."

We jump back over to Four Freedoms, where Reed assumes control of the team once again, effectively ending the reign of terror that began in issue 307 (now THAT was a doozy!). He informs the team he has triangulated the whereabouts of the Frightful Four, and from there we have a rehash of the beginning of the issue. The FF take on the Frightful Four, trading equal numbers of blows and quips. The only difference with this new battle is how the FF abruptly pass out. 75% of the Frightful Four are baffled by this occurrence and look to the Wizard for the answer.

Wizzy reveals his new allies: Aron the Watcher, and Dragon Man! ...Yeah, that's the cliffhanger.

Rar! They're menacing.

What I thought: This issue was a little bit like a sporting event. The two teams beat on each other, took a half-time to regroup, and then beat on each other some more until one side emerged victorious. While I would liken Reed's half-time coaching style to the more level-headed Coach K, it's Wizard's Bobby Knight inspired hissy fit that wins the day. Realizing there's no friends in villainy (much like there's no crying in baseball), Wizard called in some clutch relief and went hard in the paint to bring this baby home. That's all she wrote folks for the sports references, by the way.

But in all honesty, this issue had very little substance, and even the slightly compelling question of "What to do with Ben now that he's just a man?" loses it's appeal quickly. Everyone knows he'll be the Thing again in no time, and seriously, does anyone want to see a dude make out with a rocky creature? I guess there's a bit of a double-standard, because I don't mind Alicia with Ben when he's in his rocky form.

Once again Keith Pollard's art is above average. In a story with a lot of action sequences, Pollard does a nice job of mixing up the heroes and villains to convey a real sense of people "throwing down." And his rendition of a Rhino made of pure sound was pretty neat too!

And finally, Reed retakes command of the Fantastic Four. While it was an inevitability that was coming for some 20 issues, Reed acts like such a presumptuous jerk when it comes to leading the FF that even I was a little put-off (I usually like Reed when he's a jerk). The transfer of power is done with such lack of finesse that you might as well throw away all the comics where Ben serves as leader. Hey you know what? That's not a bad idea....

So until I start dating a girl with rocky orange skin, vive la fantastique!

Jeez! It's called privacy, Reed.

Hell('s Kitchen) is for Heroes - Black Panther #515

2011-03-11T20:00:00.001-06:00

Black Panther: The Man Without Fear! #515
Writer: David Liss
Artist: Francesco Francavilla

What Happens: The actions picks up right where it left off last issue, with T'Challa standing atop a roof overlooking his seemingly dead friend Brian. Contemplating whether or not his secret identity as "the man without fear" has been compromised, our hero prioritizes and goes after the villain responsible for all the mayhem- Vlad the Impaler.

T'Challa and Vlad meet up on a darkened rooftop and exchange taunts, with the crazy superpowered Romanian going so far as to call our hero "Pussy-Cat Man" (and yes, I will be calling T'challa that for a while now). I mean, T'Challa has been looking for a new name, right? Anyway, they fight pretty evenly until Pussy-Cat Man shorts out Vlad's electrical powers. Vlad flees like a little girl, and Pussy-Cat Man is left to lick his wounds.

20 minutes later "Mr. Okonkwo" (T'Challa's civilian identity) hits the hospital in search of news about his injured friend Brian. The doctor comes out and informs Okonkwo that Brian is indeed worm food, and T'Challa slugs a soda machine. Yeah, that'll bring him back... As T'Challa leaves, Luke Cage shows up to rub salt in his wounds. T'Challa tells Cage to bugger off, and the two are left in the exact same position as last issue.

As Okonkwo heads back to his apartment, he is greeted by none other than his sexy neighbor Iris. Man, this lady can't take a hint! Our hero shoos the damsel away (and breaks my heart a little for still NOT having that affair), and gets down to business, creating his own weapon to use against Vlad. If this were an 80's movie, there would have been an awesome "makin stuff for the final battle" montage.
Skipping some of the more boring parts of the issue, we jump to a scene back at the hospital where T'challa had "kicked some can" earlier. It seems Vlad is there, chatting up the doctor that treated Brian. The two talk a bit, and we find out that Brian is indeed alive, and he's going to be used to get back at T'Challa.
The issue ends with Pussy-Cat Man using his freshly minted gadgets to get the drop on Vlad's guards. Storming Vlad's penthouse, Pussy- Cat Man is shocked to find Vlad's wife unconscious on the floor with no pulse. Wow, it would suck if Vlad walked in on those two. Well guess what happens in the issue's cliffhanger?
What I Thought: Cut and paste. That's all I can say at this point. The purpose and cast of the story is set, and the plot is moving at a snail's pace. Take for example Luke Cage showing up at the hospital. Did that scene even need to happen? It didn't do anything to further the idea that T'Challa has rejected outside help, I mean he already did that last issue. Also, Iris? I understand that she's a hood rat, but seriously, give it a rest for an issue or two.

I will give this issue points for its action scenes. The back-and-forth between Pussy-Cat Man and Vlad is one giant cliched comic book pissing match, but it's a lot of fun to actually see a villain cause trouble for a hero. In most of T'Challa's previous comics, he's so far ahead of his adversaries that there's no real struggle.

And last but not least, the art continues to be the strongest selling point to this series. Francisco Francavilla is pulling double duty on this book AND Detective Comics, so that explains a lot of the visual overlap that appears between the adventures of Pussy-Cat Man and a certain caped crusader.

I'm really hoping this series picks up in the next issue or two. I won't drop it unless it becomes unbearable, but I'm already a little bored of this new direction.

Score: I'll have to give this issue 2.5 hood rats out of 5.

Don't trust a ho, T'Challa.

Staying Current Quickie! Fantastic Four #588

2011-03-09T20:15:00.009-06:00

Fantastic Four #588-“Three ,Epilogue- A Month of Mourning”
Cover Date April 2011 Price $3.99
Writer/ Artist-Jonathan Hickman/ Nick Dragotta
Cover Tagline: “Final Issue"

What Happened: I'm going to forgo the usual longwinded summary, because frankly, I didn't like this issue. I'll get to that in a second, but let me sum up what happens. This issue deals with the fallout of the death of Johnny Storm, but does so without the use of dialogue. Told in snapshots from a "month of mourning", we as readers are treated to a visual feast by artist Nick Dragotta.

As the month rolls along, we see Sue push Reed away, Reed threaten Annihilus with the Ultimate Nullifier, and the Thing throw down with Thor and Hulk all in the name of grief. Doom even appears in a few spots, having lost his position as ruler of Latveria to his successor Kristoff Vernard. We also find out that the kids of the Future Foundation have a new mission: "Kill Annihilus." And finally we're treated to a backup tale featuring the Amazing Spider-Man consoling young Franklin Richards with his own tales of loss. The cliffhanger of the issue? Nathaniel Richards, the time-hopping father of Mr. Fantastic, appears from a temporal vortex, and with him comes word balloons.

What I Thought: So why didn't I like this issue? Well, it's the words "Final Issue" that really get to me. When I think "final issue" of a series as iconic as Fantastic Four, I tend towards delusions of grandeur, as if somehow everything that could be said about these characters is stated with such climatic fashion that you can't help but feel a sense of closure. Instead, this "final issue" feels like nothing but a stop along the way. While the new Future Foundation series (which starts this month) spins directly out of the events of this issue, I fear for the longevity of the concept. I almost feel as if Marvel could have done a "Future Foundation" maxi-arc (that sounds so wrong) within the pages of the Fantastic Four title and all would be well.

But I shouldn't be surprised. The FF have been canceled and relaunched before, and they tend to even out in the long run. It's just this time the gimmick is hurting an otherwise great story (Hickman's epic) instead of inflating a mediocre money grab ("Heroes Reborn"). I've said it again and again that Hickman's bigger story is something to behold, and Marvel wants to market it in all the wrong ways. But then again, I'm buying all the issues, so maybe they're on to something.

And it's not to say this story was awful by any means. It was perfectly acceptable and at times downright heartfelt. The choice to use a completely visual bookend to the series is a rather interesting idea. I hated the art upon first look, but I soon realized that Dragotta's Gene Colan-esque style is meant to be a homage of sorts to Fantastic Four co-creator Jack Kirby. While I would have preferred Steve Epting completing the entire "3" arc, I can appreciate how Dragotta plays a vital role in the storytelling here. Heck, without the dialogue, the pressure is squarely on his shoulders.
As for the "future" (little pun there) , Hickman has promised a lot of the stories from Fantastic Four will be tying up in the relaunched title. Plots such as the Valeria/Doom deal, the war of the 4 cities, and Franklin's status in the MU are finally going to come to a head. Now if we can get some more Namor/ Sue moments, I may forget how I felt about this issue. So until "dead means dead" isn't an insanely laughable notion, vive la fantastique!

Fantastic Four #326

2011-03-06T21:22:00.009-06:00

Fantastic Four 326-“The Illusion”
Cover Date May 1989 Price $.75
Writer/ Artist-John Harkness/ Keith Pollard
Cover Tagline: “The New EVIL F.F.- The Frightful Four!"
Number of issues since last box pull: 5

What Happened: Our story opens with a shot of Reed and Sue Richards walking arm-in-arm through a snowy landscape. Though the heroes are not a part of the active Fantastic Four team, they're both wearing their FF costumes and discussing the recent "Inferno business." This leads me to believe that they just got done taking part in an ill-conceived Marvel line wide event. As the two chat about how they enjoy staying with the Avengers, Reed expresses his need to do more with his time. Having a brilliant mind, Reed isn't content sitting around with his dolt of a wife and their young son Franklin, who honestly acts a bit childish for his father's tastes. Sue tells Reed that he can go run off and play mad scientist, but that he's not allowed to interfere with the current Fantastic Four's adventures. After all, Reed promised to butt out of Ben's affairs back in issue 317.

Reed rockets away in a shuttle, thinking about how Sue somehow treats him like a child, and how she can be such a big doody head. As stretcho contemplates his situation, he correctly ponders the fact that he's pretty dang old for a superhero, so using his brain is really his greatest asset to the world at large. In other words, he wants to run the FF again because he's smarter than Ben.

Arriving at Four Freedoms Plaza (not a shameless plug I swear), he finds he can't get in with his normal keycard. Questioning the malfunctioning security, Reed stretches his skin into the same shape as the key that would be necessary, and proceeds to pick the lock.

Apparently the "super genius" doesn't realize he could just do this everytime and therefore doesn't need to carry a key at all. Entering the building, Reed is shocked to find the security defenses he designed are trying to kill him. Let's watch:

As the threat dies down and our hero is stretched a mile long, the current Fantastic Four team enters the room. Ever the gracious host, Ben Grimm proceeds to mock Reed's deadly situation, calling his stretched-out best friend "spaghetti on speed." Reed replies that he believes that a
"certain current leader" of the Fantastic Four has not been properly maintaining the building, and that Ben's momma is so fat that she has her own zip code. Cut him some slack in the humor department, he's a really old scientist. The team and Reed head to the control room, and old man Richards is dismayed to find his security protocols have not been followed.

Reed's attention then turns to Johnny, who is more flaming than ever (please feel free to read into that sentence what you will). Johnny explains that during the "Inferno" he pushed his powers to the max, and he hasn't been able to "flame-off" since. Reed tells him he could take a look, and Johnny blows him off. Ben also tells him to leave, because he's got everything under control. Thankfully Ms. Marvel (still in rocky form) vouches for Reed and he invites himself to stay. Reed's not very subtle when it comes to wresting control back from loved ones.
As Reed so slyly usurps Ben's position, we jump over to the ever villainous Wizard, whose pontificating about ways to finally conquer his foes in the FF. Apparently Wizard feels that his time for victory has come because Reed Richards didn't design his defenses with computer viruses in mind.

As the Wizard walks through his layer, we as readers are introduced to the NEW and "improved"Frightful Four, consisting of Wizard, Hydro Man, Klaw, and Titania. As each of the villains flaunts his/her recent backstory in a deluge of exposition, Klaw reveals that the time is right to finally attack.

Jumping back to Four Freedoms, Sue and Franklin arrive and greet their family. Sue pulls Ben aside for a bit of "girl talk", and Reed prepares a machine that will de-flame Johnny. Now who's playing god, Reed? Anyway, it wouldn't be an 80's Fantastic Four comic with a completely insane head scratching moment, so we catch up with some of the Frightful Four as they enact their plan. Klaw uses a sound frequency to turn on all the machines at a nearby construction site while Titania pretends to be a street performer outside of Four Freedoms Plaza.
I'm not sure if this was essential to the Wizard's plan, or he just wanted to secretly laugh at Titania. Either way, the Frightful busts into Four Freedoms Plaza just as Johnny gets in the machine. The two teams duke it out, and the dialogue is simply outstanding:

The issue ends with Reed's machine getting blowed up real good, the Torch de-flamed, and most shockingly of all, Ben Grimm in his human form! Man I can't believe no one's ever used that plot before!

What I thought: I started writing this synopsis on February 5th. It is now March 3rd. That's how little interest I had in even approaching this issue. I couldn't even find the strength to make fun of it to my full abilities. I actually really like the Frightful Four as a concept, although I wish it was composed of more "heavy hitters." I think if Marvel could find a storyline that serviced more top-tier villains coming together, the idea of an evil Fantastic Four would be intriguing. Instead we get Hydro Man, who will inevitably be evaporated. All-time spoiler alert.

So in lieu of really tackling the storylines, I'll just ask one question: Why in the world did Klaw start all the engines of the machines at the construction site? Will this come into play next issue? Was this scene cut out from the story before print? How can that be the one major point of contention I have with this issue? UGH. Guys, this was brutal. Until Klaw remote starts my car for me on a cold morning, viva la fantastique!

Reed, asking the question we've all been wondering...

FF Revealed- Minds Blown with Spoilers

2011-02-09T12:49:00.007-06:00

Hey all it's your frosty friend Kello here with a snow day posting of monumental Marvel magnitude! For months Marvel has been teasing us with the "FF" promo piece that showed nothing but a strange logo alongside the names of creators Jonathon Hickman and Steve Epting. Today it was announced that the new series would indeed be about the Future Foundation, and that none other than Spider-Man would be joining the ranks of Marvel's First Family. Below are some swiped images of the characters in their new costumes. I'm going to be the first to call Spider-Man "FantomPool."

Well....What do you think? Despite the Thing's new look, the concept of the title sounds interesting. My one big question is did the death of a member really necessitate this storyline? Couldn't the FF have joined the 21st Century without the "3" arc? Until Marvel asks for forgiveness for that shameless gimmick, vive la fantastique!

Staying Current (Audio Review) Fantastic Four #587

2011-01-29T14:24:00.005-06:00

Fantastic Four #587 Hits Stores Tomorrow!

2011-01-24T20:31:00.003-06:00

Kello here with a short reminder that Fantastic Four #587, the big "death" issue, hits stores tomorrow! Yes, I know tomorrow is Tuesday, and Wednesday is officially "new comic day." But Marvel is going all out in the gimmick department and releasing this issue for public consumption a day early. So if you're lucky enough to live near a comic shop, go and pick up a copy. If not for yourself, do it for me. My copy won't arrive until the weekend....

So until my copies of FF get hand delivered by Stan Lee himself, vive la fantastique!

Hell's Kitchen is For Heroes- Black Panther #514

2011-01-23T21:41:00.018-06:00

Black Panther: The Man Without Fear! #514
Writer: David Liss
Artist: Francesco Francavilla

What happened: We open this issue with a familiar scene for any comic book fan- violence against a woman in a dark alley. Is it sad that as a fandom we're desensitized to this? Thankfully in this instance the woman being accosted is actually in on the assault, as she and her group of attackers are trying to lure out the "Man without fear."
As it turns out, the group of thug improv actors is working for none other than Vlad the Impaler, the crime lord we met last issue. Although Vlad is not waiting with the group, his bumbling son is there to take down our hero.

Biding their time and waiting for T'Challa, the attackers are relieved when our he finally reveals himself. Thinking they have the drop on BP, the baddies train their laser sights on him. But of course BP has come prepared, telling the thugs he killed the charges in their weapons while they were on break. Let this be a lesson: always take your weapons with you when you go on break.
The men scatter, and T'Challa grabs Vlad the Impaler's son for some alone time on the roof.

As BP dangles the son of Vlad over the building Batman-style, he tells the ruffian that Daredevil had a code against killing, but he didn't share this sentiment. BP drops Vlad's son on to a ledge, leaving the gangster to return home to tell his daddy.

We cut to a scene with T'Challa heading back to his apartment, contemplating the death of his neighbor from last issue. As he silently mulls over the kind of environment he has immersed himself in, T'Challa is intercepted by his hottie neighbor Iris. She tells T'Challa that she's a social worker and she's helping the son of the murdered neighbor. She also tells T'Challa that anytime he wants to come over to her place, he's more than welcome. As Mel Brooks once said, "It's good to be king." Apparently T'Challa is a better person than Mel Brooks, because he declines the offer to get bizay.

The scene shifts to the Devil's Kitchen Diner , where the two employees we met last time, Brian and Sofija, rush to meet their manager at the door. Both of them warn T'Challa of a big scary looking dude waiting in his office, and T'Challa proceeds with caution. But instead of a Klaw, Psycho Man, or some other Marvel supervillain waiting in the wings, the Panther finds none other than Luke Cage sitting in his chair!The two converse, and T'Challa is none too happy to have other heroes interfering with his emo mission of self discovery. After all, it's hard to brood with Luke Cage all up in your face. Cage's sensibilities are offended, and he leaves in a huff (but not before insulting the diner's food!). It seems T'Challa didn't cover his trail as well as he thought...

From here we see Vlad the Impaler deducing the man without fear's base of operations by looking at all the sightings of the hero, and planning to hit a bank in the nearby area to draw out his prey. He does so, just as T'Challa and his employees are sitting and chatting.

The group goes outside to see what's going on, and Brian the busboy is taken hostage along with a police officer. Vlad then goes on to use Brain as bait, and T'Challa fights him at a distance. The Impaler knocks his hostages from the roof, and our intrepid hero catches his friend just in time. But all is not well as Vlad throws one last charged up stick, and blows up the side of the building where Black Panther and his friend landed. The issue ends with Brian dead, and Sofija spotting T'Challa on the roof above with a torn mask. Geez, that went sour on him pretty fast, didn't it?
Thoughts: Reading the comic the first time was enjoyable enough, but after typing this review, I'm starting to notice a few frustrations. First of all, the Batman comparisons are nonstop in this book. Between the dark visuals, the vigilante angle, and the street level crime, there is really no new storytelling ground being broken here. The only unique twist to the vigilante premise in this instance is that T'Challa is actually kind of bad at it.

Also after typing this review, I noticed how eerily similar this issue was to last issue. I know I just did the other review yesterday, but I feel like I'm Bill Murray in Groundhog's Day. Here's the plot: T'Challa foils Vlad's son, Vlad plots revenge, T'challa's neighbor hits on him, he declines, and then someone T'Challa knows dies. That's BOTH of these issues in a nutshell.

But I'm a forgiving reader, and there are some bright spots in this issue that I'd be remiss to overlook. The best part of this issue by far was the appearance by everyone's favorite indestructible Avenger and Thunderbolt, Luke Cage. I've noticed Cage is written one of two ways, as a cliche jive talkin brotha (as seen in Cage's 70's appearances, and the Reginald Hudlin Black Panther), or as a street smart "scared straight" superhero (like the one seen in Bendis' Avengers or Fraction's Immortal Iron Fist). In this issue we get the more ghetto version, and for the purposes of this story, I like it. I like it only because Cage is all attitude. Of course if he was like this all the time, he would be a despicable character.

And while it appears T'Challa's busboy friend is dead and his secret identity is blown, it adds an element of unpredictability to the storyline. It was established last issue that the girl from the diner has ties to Serbian Nationalists, so if she knows T'Challa's secret, the question becomes how she will use the knowledge. My guess is that since she's Serbian and Vlad's Romanian, there will be some kind of bad blood there, and Sofija will become the Microchip to T'Challa's Punisher. ...Or should I say the Alfred to his Batman?

Score: 3 Dead Busboys out of 5 (would have been 2.5 if not for Cage!)

Hell's Kitchen is for Heroes- Black Panther #513

2011-01-22T14:36:00.014-06:00

Hey FFans, it’s your friend Kello, welcoming you back to Four Freedoms for the debut of a frantic special feature that’s sure to become an instant fan favorite!

As many of my loyal readers know (ok, I’m sure no one out there really knows or cares), I have an ever passing fascination with the Black Panther. Having first appeared within the hallowed pages of Stan Lee and Jack Kirby’s legendary run on Fantastic Four, the Panther is forever tied to Marvel’s first family. That makes him of particular interest to a blogger such as me.

While recent years have seen the warrior king of Wakanda revamped as an international diplomat, replaced by his sister, depowered at the hands of Dr. Doom, and transformed into an urban vigilante, there’s no denying the staying power of T’Challa within the Marvel Universe. Much like DC’s Wonder Woman property, there seems to be an undercurrent of support for the Panther, but every year or so the character is taken in some new direction that deters a lot of fans.

Marvel’s latest attempt at reinventing the Panther’s persona has come in the form of the newly coined “Black Panther: The Man Without Fear” series. The title is continued from the recently concluded “Daredevil: the Man Without Fear” series, presenting readers with a swap of sorts. As the hero Daredevil hits the road to do some much needed soul searching (and shake off the disappointment that was the mini-series known as Shadowland), a changing of the guard takes place in his New York neighborhood known as Hell’s Kitchen. It seems T’Challa is also facing an identity crisis of sorts, and he agrees to serve as the protector of Daredevil’s old territory.

And thus we have the premise for Black Panther’s new series, as well as our new feature here at FF Plaza--- Hell’s Kitchen is for Heroes! In which I’ll take a brief look at the happenings of T’Challa’s in his new urban jungle. So without further rambling….

Black Panther: The Man Without Fear! #513

"Urban Jungle"

Writer: David Liss

Artist: Francesco Francavilla

We start this issue in the midst of a fray. The hero know as Black Panther is doing his best dark knight impression as he beats some two bit thugs in search of their boss man named "Vlad." (Points to this comic already for naming the villain Vlad, because obviously only evil people have that name) Anyway, as BP busies himself with the task of cracking skulls, he finds the son of Vlad waiting for him. Lots of guns fire on T'Challa and our hero is left in a hailstorm of bullets...

The story jumps back 3 weeks prior, as Matt Murdock gives T'Challa the okay to watch over Hell's Kitchen. We as readers also find out that the lawyer Foggy Nelson, Daredevil's BFF (big fat friend), has set T'Challa up with a false identity.

Now known as Mr. Okonkwo, T'Challa takes the job of managing a diner called "Devil's Kitchen." We see him interview some new applicants, including a girl with some Serbian insurgent tattoos (hint: that plot point WILL come back to bite him). Our hero even calls his wife Storm and tells her that he cannot have any contact. Being an understanding wifey, Storm tells BP that she will respect his wishes. This of course would be fine, except there's a hottie across the hall named Iris who's totally jocking T'Challa. But who wouldn't?

As T'Challa thinks about his new life, he reflects on new mission, which is to find his true strength without the resources of a king or the strength of the panther god. To this end, T'Chall is no longer even going by the moniker "Black Panther", as he tells a random pimp "I shall be known by my deeds and not a name." That's a lot different than "I'm Batman."

We then jump over to Vlad, who is taking care of some business. We find out that he has energy based powers given to him through a Romanian super soldier type experiment. Vlad tells his tale to a lackey who screwed up, and ends up impaling the dude to really get his "point" across.

With the exposition of the issue given, we jump back to the Black Panther in the hailstorm of bullets. He cuts the power to the room, jacks some dudes up, and gets info about Vlad out of Vlad's son. T'Challa returns home and finds one of his neighbors has been murdered, illustrating the dangers of living in his newly adopted home. The issue ends with Vlad's son apologizing and the Impaler contemplating what to do about this new man without fear...

Thoughts: I was very skeptical of this series, especially after reading the 4 page preview online. But a few fellow reviewers gave this title a surprising amount of praise, and I had to check it out. After reading this introduction issue, part of me still has trouble swallowing the premise. On one hand, it's a noble and heroic thought that the Panther would give up his very identity to become a "commoner." That T'Challa wants to better prove his mettle as a man and hero does ring true to a sense of nobility.

On the other hand, it seems very far fetched that such a well known public figure could just camouflage himself as part of the public with so few repercussions. The way everyone in this story services the plot really make the comic feel out of sorts, especially T'Challa's decision to cut ties with his wife. While we see seeds of T'Challa's failure in keeping his life a secret being planted already, it was a little too convenient for him to just fall off the face of the Earth.

The two major compliments I'll give this issue are 1.) We get an appearance by Matt Murdock. This gives a sense of closure to the previous volume of Daredevil and truly passes the torch from one hero to another. Although BP and Murdock are pretty emo, the scene with the two of them together lends a lot of credibility to Marvel's new directions for these characters. And 2.) The art is dark and perfect. T'Challa's new panther suit is sleek yet militaristic, giving it a very modern twist. Check out the scans!

Score: 3 Beaten Pimps out of 5

Staying Current (Audio Review) Fantastic Four #586

2010-12-31T01:42:00.002-06:00

One-Shot Showdown! Totally Biased Edition

2010-12-29T14:00:00.001-06:00

It’s One-Shot Showdown! In which I compare the merits of two Fantastic Four related one-shots and render a verdict as to which one’s better. All decisions are final, written in stone, and utterly absolute…something around here has to be, right?

Today's Theme: Adventures with a cosmic powered family! (a.k.a. same old, same old)

Today's Contenders-

2009's Cosmic Size Fantastic 4

versus

2008's Fantastic Four Special

Welcome true believers, fight fans, or curious online sojourners who found me by accident! Today we will witness what promises to be a showdown of epic disproportion! If you've ever read a one-shot showdown posting here at FF Plaza, you know I try my best to match the issues up by theme, and then offer a fair and balanced critique of each. However, one of the issues featured today is written by none other than Dwayne McDuffie, who is probably my all-time favorite FF writer. Didn't know you'd be getting a free Kello fun fact today, did you?

Mr. McDuffie was the writer on the main FF series in it's post-Civil War era all the way to the Mark Millar run, and his knack for strong characterization synced up perfectly with the exploits of the FF and it's cast of incredulous villains . Having that said, I'm willing to see if there's anything that the "Cosmic Size" issue can offer against my own incredible sense of bias for McDuffie's work. Without further jawin...Fight!

Cosmic Size Fantastic 4 by Cary Bates and Bing Cansino

The Plot: Reed and Ben are picking up samples from a pocket dimension and Ben almost gets eaten by a "little shop of horrors" type plant. Saved by his rocky exterior, Ben and Reed head back home. After they get back to the Baxter Building, Reed reveals that the plant that tried to eat Ben left him with a contagious residue on his skin and the family will need to be quarantined for 48 hours. As the team waits out the time, they start acting increasingly hostile towards one another. It turns out the plants from the other dimension are affecting the adults of the team, and it's up to Val and Franklin to save the day.

Positives
+ This comic is a true Fantastic Four comic, with all members getting equal face time. The plot point of the team being quarantined offers up a great way for our favorite family to interact.

+There are even some interesting "adult-themed" moments in this issue that you don't normally see in an FF comic. While it's not something I want to see in every FF comic, it sets this special apart ever so slightly.

Negatives
- Although I like the team interacting, I feel like the "Unseen force turns everyone against each other" plot has been done to death.

-Val and Franklin save the day. I'm in the minority that actually likes the kids, but having them save the day is becoming a common occurrence (see the excellent FF: Dark Reign mini-series for a fun example).

- This was another one-shot with a useless reprint in the back (John Byrne's Fantastic Four #237), which puffed the price up to an undeserved $4.99! Although it did offer this moment....

It's better if I don't give the context.

Fantastic Four Special by Dwayne McDuffie and Casey Jones

The Plot: In a story called "My Dinner with DOOM", Reed is invited to dine with his long time rival, Dr. Doom, at the Latverian embassy. Dr. Doom has declared it to be a holiday in Latveria, in honor of his dead mother's forgiving spirit. As Doom shows Reed around the embassy, they walk through a doorway that teleports them to Latveria.

Meanwhile, back in Manhattan, the heroes are on high alert, because Reed told them all Doom may be using the dinner as a reason to steal something Reed has been holding onto for 15 years. Since there was only 3 places to keep the item safe (Avengers Tower, The Baxter Building, and the Damage Control Headquarters), the rest of the FF is dispatched to these areas. Doombots attack the 3 sites, while Reed and Victor play a chess game they had begun 15 year before. As the heroes fight, we find out Reed has the item Doom was looking for all along, and he willfully gives it to him as a sign of friendship. Reed wins the chess game, as well as the moral victory.

Positives
+ In the interest of space I won't gush too much, but McDuffie really knows how to write the FF. Heartfelt, humorous, and introspective, this $2.99 one-shot clearly defines the relationships between these characters so well that it's hard to believe it's a single plotline. We get great Sue/ Reed moments, Doom/Reed moments, Ben/Johnny moments, and even Torch/Spidey moments.

+ The plot was more about a battle of wits than a battle of fists, and it shines a great light onto the natures of Doom and Reed. In the end, both are humanized just a little more.

+ The art in this issue is wonderful. Casey Jones (T-M-N-T power!) provides a Kirby-esque style for the flashbacks and a Wieringo-like cartoonishness for the scenes in the present.

Negatives
- Why didn't they call this issue "Fantastic Four: My Dinner with DOOM"? Anything's better than "Fantastic Four Special." How mundane.

-....I can't find anymore. I loved this issue.

The Winner: It was over before it started, if you haven't already picked up on that yet. The Fantastic Four Special is the hands-down "victor" of this battle. Not only a great Doom/Reed story, this issue is a prime example of what a one-shot can be. Dead-on characterization, connections to the overall Marvel Universe, and a plot that ties itself up by the issue's conclusion, I can't recommend the special highly enough. But then again, I'm pretty biased. So until I beat Doom at chess, vive la fantastique!

Fantastic Four #320

2010-12-24T15:00:00.006-06:00

Fantastic Four 320-“Pride Goeth...”
Cover Date Nov 1988 Price $.75
Writer/ Artist-Steve Englehart/ Keith Pollard
Cover Tagline: “The Shadow of Doom!"," The Thing vs. The Hulk"
Number of issues since last box pull: 13

(Editor's Note- Now that I have some free time over break, I'm going to try and get back on the horse. It has been quite some time since I've pulled from "the"box", but I think I'm ready. Let's forget issue 317 ever happened and enjoy the mindless action that is #320!)

What Happened: This issue begins as a continuation of a story from Hulk #349, a comic I admittedly neglected from my pull list (considering how I was 3 years old at the time it came out). A newly intelligent grey skinned (and tuxedoed) Hulk is lunging for Dr. Doom in retaliation for being dragged into the Las Vegas desert.

The jade giant...er...heather gray giant is understandably miffed at being pulled away from all the penny slots and goes to fight with the leader of Latveria, only to be zapped by a power beam. The not-so-good doctor explains that the beam is a neural disruptor(tens years before M.I.B.!), and as the Hulk is physically incapacitated, Doom wishes simply to chat. Hulk no am understand.....

Doom explains to a less than interested grey Hulk that he recently took a journey to see the Beyonder, and while he was absent the protocols were enacted to call up his protege to run his kingdom of Latveria.

Doom hopes Hulk will go back to Latveria and help him regain the throne via brute strength (after all, Hulk smash), but the Hulk politely declines. Doom says thats okay, and then tells the Hulk that he didn't know turning gray made him into a scared little girl as well.Before Hulk can offer a rebuttal, Doom tells him he's not offended, because he has another strong man in mind to help carry out his plan. Namely, one Benjamin J. Grimm, a.ka the hero known as The Thing!
Intelligent or not, the Hulk always lets taunts roll off of him with all the class of a WWE wrestler. Rowdy Roddy Hulk tells Doom he can best the Thing six ways from Sunday, and citing the many other comics where the two have clashed. See, the old imbecilic Hulk never would have cited precedence! The stage is now set for the Hulk to attack the Thing, and Dr. Doom could not be more pleased. Come on Doom, we already have one "puppet master" in the FF universe, stop aping his gig!

The scene shifts over to NYC, with the "Fantastic" Four catching up about their latest escapade. It seems that over the past few issues the team had gone to meet with the Beyonder at the Crossroads of Infinity. The team decides it's time for some R&R by going for a ferry ride. Johnny, Alicia, and Ms. Marvel (who still looks like "Mrs. Thing" at this point) invite Ben Grimm along, but as team leader, he feels compelled to hang out at the base. The Thing ponders the role of leadership as he heads to the roof for some sunbathing, or to drop pennies, or to smush birds, or whatever (it's not really clear why he's taking the elevator straight to the roof).

(The editor's note tells us "Reed Richards, the original FF leader." Thanks, I was totally lost!)

Any way it's all good, because as Ben pauses the Hulk totally gets the jump on him. Oh, I see! The Thing headed to the roof so he could do his daily "move the plot along" exercises! As the Hulk gives the thing a nice big "Ba-Wham!", the caption pretty much lets us know the "substance" part of the issue is over--

The rest of the issue is pretty much Superman #75, without Jimmy Olsen or a polybag. Seriously, it's just like 12 pages of The Thing and The Hulk beating on each other.
Pollard and Marvel totally have a case against Dan Jurgens!

The Thing and Hulk duke it out, each noting that the other is stronger than they remembered. The Hulk keeps his newfound intelligence a secret, and the Thing's edgier form gives him what seems to be the inside track to victory. This is all well and good, until the very end of the issue, when a very special guest star shows up to provide an interesting cliffhanger.

Ladies and Gentlemen, your hero.....The Green Hulk!? Hmmm, I honestly didn't see that coming. Also, note the originality of the plot next issue. The She-Hulk (a female version of the Hulk) is going to fight Ms. Marvel (who looks like a female version of the Thing). If you don't know why that sounds familiar, hit "refresh" on your browser and read the review that comes up!

What I Thought: This comic delivers everything it says it will, but given the fact you can the glean the ENTIRE storyline from the cover, that's not saying much. Think Scott Pilgrim+Street Fighter+A Godzilla movie divided by the aforementioned Superman#75 and you've got the average intelligence of this issue. I say that honestly, but since this comic is from 1988, I'll cut it some slack. For an all-out action issue, the art certainly delivers some punishing looking blows. The Thing and Hulk go pound-for-pound, "spok"ing and "krak"ing their way through the city streets. The best sound effect by far was the Thing's knockout blow:"Ramp!" Outside of someone actually speaking the word, have you ever heard anything make that noise?

Will this issue go down in history as a highlight of the FF from the 80's? No. Will it go down as the best Hulk/Thing matchup? No. Does it provide a fun and action filled romp between two heavyweight favorites? Most Definitely. Like the many Wolverine/Sabretooth throwdowns in comic history, this issue provides another chapter in a rivalry that needs to be revisited every now and then. Nothing more, nothing less. So until The Hulk becomes The Million Dollar Hulk and The Thing becomes "Thing-Kind", vive la fantastique!

Teaser Fun!

2010-12-22T10:54:00.005-06:00

If you keep up with spoilers online, you probably already know how much Marvel loves teaser images. Seriously, they post a new teaser image everyday! This past week, Marvel released an interesting FF-related teaser I thought I would pass along.....

Looks like Hickman and Epting are going to continue their stellar partnership even after the "3" arc is over. Of course, judging from the logo above, the "3" arc may never truly be over....

(Video Review) Staying Current- Fantastic Four #585

2010-12-05T16:42:00.005-06:00

3 Freedoms Plaza?

2010-12-03T18:53:00.007-06:00

As we head into the home stretch of the FF's "3" arc, the World's Greatest Comic Magazine seems to be pulling out all the stops. Just today, Marvel announced that issue #587 of Fantastic Four will be polybagged (how come no one in the 90's ever called it "ploybagging"? Seems more accurate), will NOT be sold on newsstands, and will NOT go into extra printings. A variant edition will come out the week after the initial issue's release, with a spoilerific cover (which I assume will show Johnny getting eaten by Galactus) by John Cassady.

Apparently Marvel's rationale for the "no overprint/ newsstand" policy is to drive up demand and keep the issue from being spoiled by the dreaded liberal media. Many of us can still recall comic events such as Captain America's death and Barry Allen's resurrection being first reported on by highly circulated news outlets such as USA Today.

While all of the items above rightfully blew my mind, the biggest part of today's announcements came in the form of the following quote from Marvel's press release: "This January Fantastic Four #587 marks the end of the Fantastic Four and the penultimate issue of Marvel’s longest running series. "

We all know that killing off a member of the FF is a giant publicity stunt, but Marvel is showing a real commitment to the idea of "3" being a complete game changer. And hey, you know what? I believe them now. In an era with 2 Captain Americas, A Bruce Wayne who publicly associates with Batman, A Spidey who sleeps around, and a thriving comic that gets away with having the same name as a restaurant chain ("Red Robin....Yum"), there is the distinct possibility that the Fantastic 3 are here to stay.

And while I am more curious than enraged by the future of the F3, I can't help but feel my blog is going to look seriously out of date. I mean, I don't want to change my banner! Oh well, They'll always be the FF to me. So until the title gets pared down to the "Fantastic One", vive la fantastique!

(Video Review) Staying Current: Fantastic Four #584

2010-11-13T22:57:00.004-06:00

(Editor's Note- I apologize for the lack of written reviews in recent times, but I'm finding these videos to be quite quick and easy. I promise to do something of a more literate nature with my next "box" review!)

One Year Later

2010-11-12T20:09:00.021-06:00

The other night while thinking about the upcoming Thanksgiving holiday (and more importantly, the upcoming 2 day work week), it dawned on me that Four Freedoms Plaza is almost a year old. To be honest, that kind of blows my mind. It blows my mind in different ways, both good and bad. Let's Examine:

Mind Explosion #1- I thought I'd be done with this site by now.

Call it naivete, but when I got the fabled "box" last year, I thought I would blow through it in a matter of mere months. I thought I would post reviews every couple of days, and throngs of readers would line up to follow whatever zany adventures both myself and the FF were encountering with each issue. Well, its been a real bear to make that kind of schedule, but surprisingly it's because....

Mind Explosion #2- Having This Site Inspired me to Try a Variety of Posts

After a summer of sitting around doing absolutely nothing but watching YouTube videos and reading comic spoilers, I decided to distance myself from all things Internet. After closing Hello Kello in August (pours some iced tea out for the fallen site), obliterating my Twitter account, abandoning Tumblr, and all but decimating my YouTube channel, I found that FF Plaza was one area I couldn't bring myself to slash and burn. And I think it has to do with the fact that there was so much I tried on this site.

Ben, your "purple rain" outfit has inspired me to try new things as well...

I mean, as if getting a hulking run of FF issues wasn't enough, I also went out and bought supplemental issues, one-shots, tie-ins, etc. These extras led to the creation of some features I'm rather fond of : "One-Shot Showdown", "Staying Current", and "Thinking Outside the Box", and also planted the seeds for the yet unseen "FF Funnies" and "The Many Faces of"(can't wait for that!)...Oh, and I stole my friend JT's "Poll Results" idea too, but apparently no one likes those posts. Thanks for nothing, buddy. Anyway, insert relevant segue here...

Mind Explosion #3- People are Looking to me for Fantastic Four Knowledge-

No Matter How Much I Read, I CAN'T Explain This

What is it with you people? Just because someone devotes a website, a sizable portion of their disposable income , and more importantly a large portion of their precious time within the annals of eternity talking about a specific comic book, it doesn't mean they like it!...Oh wait, it does? Dang. I guess it's just something I'll have to grudgingly accept that people now consider me some kind of Fantastic Four super fan. I still can't believe I didn't start a Flash review site(I would have called it Scarlet Speedster), because I would much rather be known as the "Flash guy" than the "(yawn)Fantastic Four Guy." But hey, it isn't all bad, leading me to....

Mind Explosion #4- I've had a lot of Fun with this Site over the Past Year-

Totally Worth the $1.10 I Spent on it!

I think if I could explain to the world at large that this site aims to take the FF with a grain of salt, they might see it how I see it, and love it for the larf that it is. But then I think if a lot of people appreciated this on the same level as me, I wouldn't think it's as fun. It's like my own corner of the net to go to and write stuff only I think is funny. So I guess my point is...don't tell your friends about the site??? Man, I'm weird. Go and tell people to spite me.

And if you're looking for rainy day recommendations, my favorite posts have got to be the First One Shot Showdown post, Alicia's "trip" to monster island in issue #296, the hellaciously good time had by Reed and Sue in issue #277, and of course, the moustache sucking fun of issue #307.

As always, I appreciate my readers, friends, and commenters. And another big thanks to Falisha for help with the site design. Here's looking forward to another great year at Four Freedoms!

"We're like the Jerry Lewis of Super Heroes"...Johnny, those words are more profound with each passing day.

(Really) Thinking Outside the Box: Fantastic Four #317

2010-10-04T22:32:00.011-05:00

Although "thinking outside the box" normally refers to the fact that I'm reviewing an issue that was purchased after I received my initial box of 163 FF comics, this issue was pretty "outside the box" in any context. In fact, I reread it three times, and I'm not even going to try and explain it. Let me leave you with a few images from the book and we'll call it done:

Until the idea of 2 rocky creatures mating in deep space leaves my head, vive le fantastique...

Staying Current (Audio Review)- Fantastic Four #583

2010-10-04T00:34:00.007-05:00

In honor of the "3" arc finally getting underway, I wanted to do something a little special for this month's edition of "Staying Current." With take after failed take on my digital camera (many of them due to my beloved feline friends wanting their 15 minutes of fame on YouTube), I finally switched over to the voice recorder on my computer. Sit back, enjoy, and let me know what you thought of the issue!

ZOMG Cheap Comics!

2010-09-25T14:12:00.004-05:00

Hello FFans,

Your thrifty friend Kello here, to tell you that from September 25-30 there is a "Back to School" sale on a bunch of great comics over at Things From Another World. Most of the sale items are considered "nick and dent", which means they have some wear or tear. Although it may sound like the site is going to sell you a bunch of junk, I have bought these items and found no noticeable differences in quality.

I just spent about $100 and got 13 trades (including newer Captain America, Thor, and Punisher collections!) and 28 single issues.

And yes, there are plenty of FF comics on sale, too. Happy hunting!

"3" Starts this Week

2010-09-19T14:26:00.006-05:00

Hey FFans, Kello here with a quick reminder that the year's biggest(and I'm hoping best) Fantastic Four storyline, "Three", is set to begin this Wednesday with the release of issue #583. And as incentive to all you FF holdouts, I will guarentee that this arc will have both Dr. Doom, and absolutely awesome art (by Steve Epting). If that's not enough, then you should probably stop just reading Marvel Comics and go get something from Image.

Check out the cover's countdown below (it says "Countdown to Casualty 4,3,2,1"), apparently death has never been this expected!

Oh, and check out the variant by Art Adams!

So......Who's in?

Fantastic Four #307

2010-09-10T18:12:00.014-05:00

Fantastic Four #307- “Good-bye”
Cover Date/ Price: Oct 1987 $.75
Writer/ Artist- Steve Englehart/ John Buscema/ Joe Sinnott
Cover Tagline: “To Duel With Diablo”
Number of issues between last box pull: 10

What Happened: This fine looking issue starts with a trio of terrifically dressed travelers: Reed Richards, Sue Richards, and Franklin Richards as they get ready to depart from their lives as superheroes. It seems in the issues since I last read from “the box,” Reed and Sue have decided that it would be in the best interests of their young son to move to Connecticut and live a “normal” life.

As the Richards’ spend a few pages saying their goodbyes, we see that the Fantastic Four will continue on with some slight changes in membership. The new lineup will consist of Ben Grimm as the team leader, the Human Torch, the element controlling Inhuman known as Crystal, and the female powerhouse known as Ms. Marvel.

An unexpected lineup for sure, but it brings to mind a question: Which of these characters is the genius-level intellect that serves as a good replacement for Reed? The last time I checked, Crystal wasn’t very close to making her own ultimate nullifier…

Reed tells the Thing that he has earned the right to command the team, and Ben makes the former Mr. Fantastic promise that he won’t come back to save the day the first time the new team falters.

Meanwhile, Johnny flies off to go see his WIFE (I didn’t review that one, apparently…) Alicia Masters, and the two have a scintillating discussion about when the furniture for their apartment will arrive. I only mention it because it has some relevance later.

We cut to a scene at the hospital, where the super villain known as Diablo lies in head-to-toe bandages after being beaten in a near coma by Ms. Marvel last issue. While the doctors talk about the villains wounds, his thoughts reveal that he’s got another trick up his sleeve, well, actually another trick up his moustache.

Apparently Diablo keeps his magic potions all over his body, and he sucks on his moustache to give him a real pick-me-up (I don’t write em folks, I just read em…). The revived Diablo gives us a little history lesson about his life, and it turns out he is the master of Alchemy from a time long past. After he reminisces, he stands and swears revenge on Ms. Marvel…

We cut back to Johnny and Alicia’s love-nest, where the young man is startled by a loud crashing sound. It seems that an audio speaker has fallen into a glass table. Alicia feels embarrassed for breaking it, and swears the table wasn’t there a second ago (I guess her “radar sense” from issue #296 wore off). As Johnny uses his power to weld the glass back together, a purple monster emerges from the table! It turns out the table was possessed. Apparently the whole city is sharing this same wackiness, as the ground outside starts breaking apart and growing tentacles. Johnny decides this is a job for the Fantastic Four and rushes Alicia to safety at FF Plaza…

The new FF groups together, and Crystal realizes that the whole city transmuting could only be the work of the Diablo. As the team surveys the changes taking form, they see that the hospital where Diablo was staying has now taken the form of an old timey castle. As Ben and Ms. Marvel (who goes by the name Sharon Ventura at this point in comic continuity) attack the front door, Johnny and Crystal fly ahead to scout out what’s going on. While the Thing fights alongside the super strong Ms. Marvel, his thoughts reveal that an ongoing attraction for the red clad hottie. Distracted by her raucous attitude and taut bod, the Thing gets blindsided by one of Diablo’s monsters. Let this be a lesson, if you want to keep your head in the game, always hire an uggo to join your superteam instead of a stone cold fox…

We find Johnny and Crystal having similar luck, as the two former lovers argue with one another as they fight Diablo’s machinations inside the castle. Crystal is edgy because she is undergoing a rough patch in her own marriage, and Johnny is worried that she wants to impose upon his recent marriage to Alicia Masters. The two yell at each other some more, and Crystal runs off to face Diablo alone. Just then, Ben and Sharon break in, and the team joins up to face Diablo together.

The FF corner Diablo, and just as he is about to pull another potion from his moustache (So. Incredibly. Lame), Ms. Marvel grabs him and foils his dastardly plan. The big D gives up, and much like the ending to an episode of Scooby-Doo, he is quickly carted away by the authorities. If it wasn’t for those meddling superheroes….

We end the issue with the team chillaxin at FF Plaza (because that’s what people do there!), noting that they once they actually worked together like a team, Diablo didn’t stand a chance. You think most of these characters would have learned that lesson about 300 issues ago, but I guess it’s always nice for a refresher….

What I Thought: I honestly NEVER knew about this incarnation of the team, and that made it a total blast to read this issue. Although a lot of time is spent with Reed and Sue saying goodbye, there is an actually feeling that they’re leaving the team for a while. Of course, any real comics fan knows that a team member’s departure is going to be short lived, but it always livens things up to bring in some new blood for a while.

I will say that in reality, a person probably wouldn’t assemble a team of exes to serve alongside them in their superheroic purposes. While it lends itself to drama for the readers, I’m just a little unsure that a group like this would work out. It’s almost too much of a forced soap opera spin, but at least in this instance I was kind of hooked.

Overall, this issue felt like a really entertaining Saturday morning cartoon. There are some interesting little character interactions, we get the villain’s backstory in a quickie flashback (which is great because I didn’t know anything about Diablo), and the “fight” is wrapped up in a neat little package. There’s even the whole “lesson” type epilogue, a la “Saved by the Bell.”

I haven’t looked ahead to see which issue is next from “the box,” but I hope it still features this team. While I don’t think I’ll ever stomach an FF team that features a full time aberration of the original lineup, I always like to see the rise and fall of these substitute teams. So until Diablo decides to shave off his moustache, vive le fantastique!

Hello Nurse!

Staying Current(ish) Fantastic Four #581

2010-09-04T20:00:00.001-05:00

Fantastic Four 581:“When Everything’s Lost, the Battle is Won”
Cover Date/Price : September 2010 $3.99 (still bitter about the newsstand price….)
Writer/Artist: Johnathan Hickman/ Neil Edwards
Cover Tagline: “All Hope Lies in Doom”

(Editor’s Note- As the famous line says, “brevity is the soul of wit.” …Well, I just got the memo. So I’ll try and keep this post as short as I can, while still giving you a maximum dosage of FF-related goodness.)

What Happened: This issue starts off with a nod to issue #574 (as well as a glimpse into the future!), which featured Franklin’s birthday party. In that issue, a future version of Franklin visited his younger self and the younger version of his sister Valeria and distributed some B-day “gifts.” To his sister, the older Franklin revealed the war of the 4 cities was coming, and to himself he restored his mutant world shaping powers. I guess Val got the short end of the stick on that one.

We catch up with future Frank and find out he’s in cahoots with future Val. While this reveal isn’t huge in nature, it at least tells us Val lives to see tomorrow(and grows up to be a stunner).

As far as big reveals, the next page shows who’s really pulling the temporal strings…

… it’s none other than Nathaniel Richards, the time-hopping father of Mr. Fantastic (and grandpa to Franklin and Val)!
It appears Grandpa Richards has some scheme going, and future Franklin is creating a pocket dimension for them all to escape into once the plan has been enacted.

We cut to a scene in the distant past at the world famous “State University.” Within a class a lively ethical debate rages between two students, Reed Richards and Victor Von Doom. On the subject of “what is right?”, Reed offers that what is best for all is right, while Doom posits that not all are equal, so what is best for the upper echelon is what’s best.

As Reed leaves his lecture, he meets up with his best friend and possible Archie comic reject (look at that sweater!) Ben Grimm. As Ben and Reed have the cliché “you’re not going to spend all weekend in the lab!” jock-to-nerd discussion, a man suddenly teleports into the room with them. It turns out that it’s everybody’s favorite time altering deadbeat dad, and by-default star of this review, Nathaniel Richards!

Nathaniel reveals that he has been involved in a temporal mishap, which involved an exploding “quantum power source.” Because he was near the source of the power, every Nathaniel Richards from every reality was transported to the same point in time, hundreds of thousands of years in the future. In this time, the villain known as Immortus ruled the Earth.

As the resident “time cop”, Immortus declared that all the Nathaniels in one time period was bad for reality as a whole and that much like Highlander, there could “be only one.” So in other words, it was open season on all Nathaniel Richards, and the “great hunt” began, with Nathaniel Richardses (not a typo) killing themselves off left and right. Shhh..be vewy qwiet, I'm hunting Wichardses! And now we get to the crux of the matter: there are only two Nathaniel Richards’ left, and now they are headed for a showdown.

Reed, being dismayed by the news that his own dad is going to fight himself to the death, says that maybe Victor can help. He goes to Doom for help, and Doom makes him grovel accordingly.

Doom gives Ben Grimm a power suit to wear (a nice nod to his future as the Thing), while he dons a familiar looking piece of protective headgear.

The crew heads to the future and finds the alternate Nathaniel Richards waiting for them….

What I Thought: Since the beginning of the “Heroic Age”, the stories in this book have taken on a much smaller scope. I know Hickman is actually in the middle of a big 30 issue arc that he mapped out, but after last month’s “filler-esque” Arcade issue, this plot feels a bit generic as well. But with this issue tying into #574 (which seemed like filler when I read it in December), and the mysterious quantum power source mishap that Nathaniel mentioned, I have a feeling this story is going to pay off at some point down the road.

Having that said, it was still a decent read. The characterizations of Doom and Reed in college were perfect, if not predictable, with each taking that hard idealist line for his own cause. Hickman writes one smug and arrogant Doom, with a certain sense of charm that makes you want to read about him more. It’s reminiscent of Lex Luthor: the guy’s a jerk, but you love to hate him.

I should just do a “cut and paste” review of the art for every month that Neil Edwards stays on this book, because he is consistently great. With this issue, Edwards officially moved beyond a “fill-in” in my mind, and has my sincere vote for the ongoing artist whenever it is Steve Epting leaves. With increasing shades of Bryan Hitch and Michael Turner, Edwards has the ability to successfully mix realistic character design with a science fiction frame. The one thing I will say against Edwards is that many of his panels have little to no background art, but even this helps to focus on the characters a little more.

Overall, this was pretty standard FF-Fare. But that’s not a slam. With good Doom moments, an easy to follow plot, and a quick sense of pacing, I’m eagerly looking forward to seeing who will come out victorious in the “great hunt.” I’m guessing the winner will be Nathaniel Richards, but don’t hold me to that. So until all my alternate reality duplicates have a fight to the death, vive le fantastique!

Poll Results: Favorite Non-Doom Villain

2010-09-03T14:03:00.008-05:00

Welcome once again as we here at Four Freedoms pontificate upon the outcome of another pulse pounding poll! (by popular demand of course). I’m happy to report that there were 11, count em 11, votes on the latest question! I do believe with the double-digit turnout we may have set a new record for traffic here at the site. Hahaha, I kid, I kid….ok, not really.

Knowing that Dr. Doom transcends the bounds of being a FF-only villain (and thus would have an unfair advantage in terms of popularity), the previous poll asked “Who is your favorite Non-Doom FF villain?” The choices were between Psycho-Man, Puppet Master, Annihilus, Galactus, and Mole Man. With 7 of the 11 votes, Galactus absolutely “devoured” the competition!

To be honest, I was quite worried when I first posed the question, because Galactus got off to such a strong lead that I thought no other ne'er do well would garner a single vote. But thankfully we have some diverse tastes amongst our readers, and Puppet Master, Annihilus, and the Mole Man were shown some love.

Personally, I voted for Galactus. While I have a strange affinity for the Puppet Master (mainly due to the fact that he looks like a deranged version of Dopey from Snow White), I would much rather read a story that features the audacious purple helmeted “devourer of worlds” than some bald dude with clay.

I think the character design is what really draws me to the Big G, because he is a monstrosity in every sense of the word. His whole “larger than life” concept is really driven home by the fact that the heroes he interacts with are seemingly inconsequential to him. He’s condescending on a universal scale, and it’s kind of cool.

So to all who voted, thanks! If you feel comfortable sharing who you picked and why, please leave a comment. And I would be remiss to not plug our brand new poll, which asks “Favorite supporting FF character?” Until Galactus becomes a vegan, vive le fantastique!

(got the Galactus image Here)

Fantastic Four #296

2010-08-31T18:31:00.015-05:00

Fantastic Four 296-“Homecoming”
Nov 1986 $1.50 (Dang! For 1986, it better be worth it!)
Writer/ Artist- Jim Shooter/ Stan Lee/ Barry Windsor-Smith/Kerry Gammill/ Ron Frenz/ Al Milgrom/ John Buscema/ Marc Silvestri / Jerry Ordway
Cover Tagline: “The World’s Greatest Comic Magazine”
Number of issues since last box pull: 5

(Editor’s Note- Today’s review will continue the trend of chronicling my journey through a box of 163 Fantastic Four comics. Unlike the “staying current” or “Thinking outside the box” posts, this comic was included in my original set purchased from eBay. The box is not one complete run, in fact there are some large gaps between issues. But part of the fun of randomly skipping through continuity is seeing just how much the FF has changed over the years!)

What happened: This 25th anniversary issue opens with Benjamin Grimm doing his best “Ninja Turtles Disguise” impression and walking around in the pouring rain in the city of Stockton.As the gargantuan figures stalks the night like some kind of emo version of Andre the Giant, a car accidentally runs into him due to the low visibility. The driver checks on Ben to see if he’s okay, and the Thing tells the driver to scram. Once again, nobody writes The Thing like Stan Lee:

Anyway, we find out that the Thing is back in Stockton because that’s where the FF’s ship originally crash landed after it was hit with cosmic rays. If you’ve never seen the FF’s origin, than this is a comic for you (and you probably haven’t been paying attention to superhero culture anytime in the past 60 years).

After he finishes reminiscing, Ben bemoans his fate as the monstrous Thing, and decides that his best course of action is to flee humanity and go live on Monster Island. Accordingly, he has his pilot buddy drop him off in the middle of the ocean, and he makes his way ashore.

We cut to the sunny setting of Los Angeles California, where Reed Richards, Sue Storm, and Johnny Storm are hot on Ben’s trail (after scanning for his brain waves!), trying to find out what happened to him. The “tremendous three” ambush the pilot that dropped Ben in the middle of the sea, and we find out the man’s name is Hopper Hertnecky. Old Hopper tells Reed and co. that they’ve never really cared about Ben, and that the Thing finally decided that he couldn’t live among men anymore. Man, that pilot sure doesn’t mince words…

Skipping over the b-story of the issue, Reed decides that if Ben wants to live with monsters, that’s fine. He just wants to have one last “man-to-man” talk with his friend, and then he can let go of the guilt of not being able to cure the Thing of his rocky form. Reed, Sue, and Johnny get ready for adventure, all while telling the very dismayed She-Hulk and Alicia Masters to sit this one out.

The F3 make it to Monster Island and land the Fantasti-Car by the mouth of the cave. As they get out they are ambushed by (you guessed it!) monsters. The Fantasti-Car is literally smashed to bits by a giant creature and the F3 escape into the cave. I guess they’ll be staying at Monster Island for a while too!

The 3 continue to fight monsters until they are overwhelmed within the bowels of the island. Their only saving grace….Ben Grimm, dressed like an unholy hybrid the Mole Man and 80’s pop icon Prince!

“Purple Rain Thing” explains that the Mole Man and he are now best friends, and that he serves as a security officer of sorts for Monster Island. The Mole Man, acting very much like a jealous lover, is distrusting of the appearance of the 3, and tells the Thing not to trust his former teammates. The Mole Man then leaves to go get some “treatments” and Ben shows the F3 around the island. After showing them the Koi pond and Jamba Juice kiosk, Ben reveals the grand finale: the Mole Man’s burrowing machine!

If you didn’t know where this comic was going before, you should now…

Anyway, Mole Man finds out about the “unauthorized” tour Ben gave the F3, and once again throws a “jealous girlfriend” sized hissy. Thankfully the MM’s whining is interrupted by some guards who have captured a spy. The spy turns out to be none other than Alicia Masters. If you’re not laughing right now, you should be.

Apparently everyone’s favorite surly pilot Hopper dropped off Alicia so she could “explore” the island. I mean, what kind of man wouldn’t say no to dropping a blind chick off on an island full of monsters? Alicia is injured (probably from monster bites, running into walls, and falling into chasms), so the MM sets her up in sick bay.

In a scene that should quall some of the recent debate here at FF Plaza, Alicia and Ben finally talk about the fact that she’s shacking up with Johnny. While I’m a big fan of “Team Benlicia”, (which sounds way more family friendly than "Team AlJohnny") Ms. Masters herself tells the Thing that he is too self-loathing for her, and that Johnny makes her feel special. Although Alicia might be a Skrull at this point in continuity, we’ll count this as a possible rational for her getting it on with her “lil Stormy boy.”

Cutting to the chase, Reed discovers the Mole Man’s burrowing machine is going to shift the tectonic plates, cause a giant weather related catastrophe, and kill lots of people. The Mole creatures attack the F3, and in one of the best scenes ever, turn Johnny into a complete uggo:

The F3 try and leave the island, and the Thing goes to find the Mole Man for some answers. When Ben finds MM, he sees that his “treatments” have been trips to a holographic dream world full of tall martinis and sexy dames. This leaves the Thing to question the Mole Man’s true loyalties.

The Thing decides that the MM ain’t all he cracked up to be, and goes back to help the F3. The reunited Fantastic Four destroy the drill, repel the monsters, and reverse Johnny’s mutation. The story ends with the team, along with Alicia and Hopper, adrift in the middle of the sea.

What I Thought: This comic was a really mixed bag. The fact that it was ANOTHER oversized issue made for quite a harrowing experience to read through at times. Seeing the FF’s origin rehashed over and over again is starting to grate on this reviewer, but it will be forgiven this time around due to the comic’s purpose as a milestone marker.

I think the weakest part of this issue overall was the plotting by Jim Shooter. The story was pretty standard, and though it was kind of shocking to see the FF get truly snippy with the Thing, it was pretty clear how it would all turn out. And while the whole part with Johnny getting disfigured was shoehorned into a cool moment of realization for the thing, I for one wish he could have stayed a monster for a while longer.

And then there’s the whole idea of Alicia sneaking onto the island to try and find Ben. It was just hilariously idiotic, and yes, that’s coming from a grown man talking about a comic book. Seriously, with her superior exploration skills, maybe Alicia Masters could take over for the blind hero Daredevil if he ever quits (that’s a photoshopped picture waiting to happen).

As you can see from the info at the beginning of the review, there were quite a few artists brought in for this issue. With some of the biggest names in comics at the time (and all of whom could now be considered “ modern legends”), the art is the high point of this issue. Even though each artist has his own undeniable style, the transitions between pages are never jarring, and a smooth look is maintained throughout the book. The complete absence of advertisements (hence the outrageous price) helps to maintain the integrity of the art as well.

And finally, it comes as no surprise that a majority of this issue focuses on the ever-lovin blue eyed Thing. We finally get some kind of resolution to the Ben/Alicia/Johnny drama, and the seeds for She-Hulk exiting so the Thing can come back to the team are sown. This issue also marks the point in my “box” adventures that I’ve moved beyond the John Byrne material, as he had gone to DC at this time to work on the relaunch of Superman. I for one will miss Byrne’s issues, and recommend his run to anyone who has an interest in the FF.

So until Johnny becomes the ugly one on the team, vive le fantastique!

That makes two of us, Ben.

Technical Difficulties

2010-08-21T16:33:00.002-05:00

Hey everyone,

It's the eternally eager editor of Four Freedoms (and your friend) Kello here, to tell you that my updates are going to be few and far between for a little while. I lost internet service where I live, and so I'm divising a system of typing reviews at home and uploading them online elsewhere (like right now, I'm up at the library). It's obviously not a hard thing to do, but I like to fiddle with posts a lot before I pulbish them, and it's more comfortable to do so at home. I mean, I can't even have iced tea in here. But as always, the show must go on, and I have a "staying current" post to do, as well as some "box" reviews. So until I post everyday, vive le fantastique!

One of the upcoming "box" pulls. There are some dark (albeit hilarious) reviews ahead for this site.

Poll Results: Favorite FF Member

2010-08-15T00:01:00.009-05:00

I want to thank everyone who voted on the most recent poll, which asked "Who is your favorite member of the FF?" Out of 9 votes (a record high for this site, I believe), we had a three way "runner up" tie between Ben, Johnny, and Sue.

This of course means that the one and only Mr. Fantastic was crowned the top vote getter. I think it's no secret that Reed is my favorite member of the FF, so I'm considering my vote the tie-breaker. After all, why have your own blog if you can't fix the poll results? I kid, I kid.

Reed has a "Die Hard" moment.

Anyway, thanks again to all the loyal FFans out there for voting. I would be quite interested in knowing which readers picked which heroes and why. Oh, and don't forget to vote on the new poll, which asks about the best "non-Doom" FF villain. So until they release "Live Reed or Die Hard", vive le fantastique!

Homages: Ha Ha!

2010-08-04T23:21:00.015-05:00

I saw the top of this issue peaking out of a spinner rack at my local Hastings store (so what, I live in the middle of nowhere) and noticed the words "Comic Book" had the same font as the old Fantastic Four logo, so imagine my surprise when I saw the cover.

For those of you who don't know, the Comic Book Guy is doing his best impression of the giant green creature from the cover of 1961's Fantastic Four #1.
Looking inside the comic, there were a few obvious homages paid to iconic covers, such as the Death of Supergirl in the original Crisis on Infinite Earths. While I heavily debated buying the issue, I somehow mustered some strength and put it back. But I did get to thinking that the cover to Fantastic Four#1 has had a lot of imitators over the years. A quick Google image search later showed me that Comicvine actually catalogued them. Here are just a few:

The store also had half-priced(!) volumes of the first 2 Fantastic Four Masterworks editions, which made me think of my friend Marc, and were very tempting as possible purchases. But will power again prevailed. So until I have a billion dollars to blow at Hastings, vive le fantastique!

Mad Props to Falisha

2010-08-04T17:25:00.004-05:00

I wanted to give a big shout out to my online friend and graphic designer extraordinaire Falisha, who graciously used her time and creativity to make a new header for the Four Freedoms site. I mentioned a little while back that I was tired of the bland "Blogger template" look the site had, and Ms. Falisha hooked me up with a HUGE upgrade. So if I haven't said it yet, thanks so much!

If you want to check out Falisha's other graphic design work, head over to Jason Todd's Comic Spot . Also check out Creative Fiasco for her great sketches (warning, some of the sketches may cause you to go through puberty again). Long live Falisha, and vive le fantastique!

4 Goals for Four Freedoms

2010-08-01T15:10:00.000-05:00

Hey True Believers, FFans, REEDers, Thing-A-Majigs, SUEthsayers, Torch Bearers, etc. It's Four Freedoms Plaza editor (and your friend) Kello here with a magnificent magnitude-shaking memorandum that is memorable in the mighty Marvel manner!

This past week I decided to refine the way I spend my time online. I closed down my twitter, deleted most of my Youtube videos, and made the announcement that I'll be deleting my other blog at the beginning of September. While those sites are being dismantled, I've also been cooking up ways to improve Four Freedoms. Here are some goals I hope to accomplish on this blog in the near future:

1.) Shorter posts- Less is more, right? The problem with having a site that reviews older material is that a majority of the readers don't have access to the actual comics. I hope to give enough background in each post that my reviews makes sense to the casually reader, without making everyone wade through 40 paragraphs of text.

2.) More Updates- More is more, right? I hope to post to this site at least once a week, which may not sound like much, but in reality is a lot more frequent than my current schedule.

3.) More Varied Material- Comic strips, video reviews, lists, as well as the previously established features: "One-Shot Showdown" , "Staying Current", and "Thinking Outside the Box".

4.) Make this a Site that all Types of Comic Fans Feel Welcome to Read -I'm not a die-hard FF fan by any means. I'm just a guy who bought a ton of comics for cheap, and wanted to document the experience of reading them. I think that lack of "blind allegiance" to the characters makes me more objective, and actually helps me find new ways to make fun of some of the material.

If it sounds like I'm just shifting a lot of what I used to do at Hello Kello over here, then you're very astute. But I hope you'll stick with the site and show some love through the comments section. I would be interested in any suggestions or feedback readers have. Want to see more or less of something? Want me to shut my yap and just talk about comics? Want fanfic of Ben marrying Crystal and going to live on Jupiter? Well... 2 out of 3 ain't bad.

So until the whole world reads this blog, vive le fantastique!

Stying Current Annual Edition: Fantastic Four Annual #32

2010-07-31T17:00:00.007-05:00

Fantastic Four Annual #32-"A Little Stanger"
Cover Date: Aug 2010 Price $4.99
Cover Tagline: "Annual" (how creative!)
Writer/ Artist: Joe Ahearne/ Bryan Hitch

(Editor's Note- This issue came out about a month ago, but it's "current" in the sense that it's this year's annual. Since it's an extra long issue, it's kind of a long review. Apologies to those who share my attention span, but I implore you to take it all in!)

What Happened: This issue opens in dramatic fashion with a young woman looking for the Fantastic Four at the front entrance of their headquarters, and being scared out of her wits by the deadly security measures she encounters. Reed, Sue, and Ben rush to save the woman, and when Mr. Fantastic angrily enquires about how she was able to get into the building, she tells him she was given a clearance card by Johnny Storm. Apparently the young woman, who reveals her name to be Amy Brys, needs to talk to the Human Torch about some a very serious matter. And of course Johnny, being the giant cad he is, has been avoiding Amy's calls. Reed covers for Johnny, saying he must be in the Negative Zone or something, once again proving that having the world's smartest man for your brother-in-law pays off in new and fun ways all the time!

After Amy leaves, Johnny reappears, having been shielded with invisibility the whole time by his sister Sue (man everybody's helping him avoid this chick! Now that's FAMILY). The Invisible Woman begins to chide her brother's womanizing ways, when suddenly an alarm goes off. The alarm goes off because it detects a special kind of energy. Apparently the signal the alarm detected was a "variation" of the cosmic energy that powers the FF. This "variation" is the same energy that almost killed Sue when she was pregnant, meaning someone who was just in the room is pregnant with a cosmically irradiated Fantasti-baby. Since Sue knows it's not her, the Thing had his tubes tied, and Reed and Johnny are hot blooded super studs who are too masculine for pregnancy, it must be someone who recently visited that set off the alarm. It becomes very evident why miss Brys was had such an urgent need to talk to the Human Torch- she's about to be his baby mama. Johnny flies off and finds Amy down the street, looking to discuss the situation (as well as a weekend visitation schedule I assume). But before you can say "shotgun wedding", the two are attacked by machines with robotic tentacles.

The FF break the robots, save Amy's bacon, and fly off with her in the Fantasti-Car. The team takes Amy to the Baxter Building, and place her in an examination room to do an ultra early paternity test. Since Amy was with Johnny only 2 months prior, the only safe and logical course of action is for Sue to shrink down to a molecular level and get a D.N.A sample from the fetus. Look, I'm no doctor, so I won't argue too much, but really?

As Reed and Sue chat with the mom-to-be, Johnny and Ben have a "man-boy to rock-man" discussion in the other room about fatherhood. The only thing is, Johnny swears he didn't even kiss the girl, let alone get freaky deaky (his words, not mine...ok, you got me!). This leads Reed to send Johnny and Ben back to da club where Johnny and Amy met with a chornal scanner (It's like a viewmaster that shows you what happened in the past) to look into back in time and figure out what happened...Ah, comics.

Reed Sends Sue into Amy's womb, which makes my mind wander to disgusting jokes about both Storm siblings venturing there, and Sue indeed encounters one of God's greatest miracles...life!

Meanwhile, in a less miraculous place, Johnny and Ben use the Viewmaster of Time to see what the Human Torch and Amy were really doing on the night in question. It turns out that both Amy and Johnny were not in the champagne room getting hot and heavy, but instead getting violently ill. Ben uses the Viewmaster of time to scan the residual images of Amy and Johnny's bodies, and finds out a darkhaired woman used some microscopic bugs to infect the two young clubgoers and then disappeared, most likely inside of Johnny. Man, that chronal viewer can do anything!

Sue, still up in Amy's business, finds out that she's is trapped by some kind of force field. It turns out the same tentacled robots from the street earlier are hanging out inside of Amy too. Sue destroys them, and the team reassembles back in the lab. Reed discovers that the microscopic bugs that affected Johnny and Amy in da club had a very specific mission- 1.) Go into Johnny, get some Man juice 2.) Leave Johnny, go into Amy's nether region 3.) Inseminate Amy with the man juice, making Johnny Jr. We find out that the whole ordeal was a great success and that Johnny is in fact going to be a daddy. Unfortunately this doesn't answer who that lady who disappeared into Johnny was. The team decides to go inside him to find out. Do you kind of get the feeling Reed just likes shrinking people and putting them inside other people?

As Sue and Ben explore the inside of Johnny, Reed remarks how there is something familiar about the design of the tentacled robots that have been plaguing them all day. As Johnny mentions that microscopic androids fit the Psycho Man's M.O. quite well, Ben chimes in over the com link and says they have company inside of Johnny. Apparently he has a visitor in his brain--

That's right, it's the Psycho Woman!

The Psycho Woman turns out to be the daughter of the longtime FF baddie, the Psycho Man. The Psycho Woman, who will be known from this point as P-W goes on to use her mind altering powers against Ben and Sue, and they lose contact with Reed. Apparently the P-W wants to use Johnny's baby to create an army of super warriors (????).

Being the all-American husband and superhero he is, Reed shrinks himself and has Amy inject him into Johnny's body (again Reed? You're sick, dude) to find the other members. After Reed is in Johnny's body, ANOTHER set of tentacled robots busts in to attack!

The major problem (besides the fact that there is a Johnny-spawn on its way into the world) is now that the Human Torch can't activate his flame powers, because the intense heat will melt the rest of his teammates inside of him. The Torch and Amy avoid the tentacled monsters, as Reed, Sue and Ben fight against the P-W. Unfortunately the battle inside of Johnny ends up hurting him, and the FF is in a tight spot.

The P-W thinks she has the upperhand by inducing the emotions of fear, disgust, and envy in the 3 members she's up against inside the Torch, but Ben quickly overcomes these emotions and clobbers the yellow faced villain. The battle continues and ends up being so rough that it knocks Johnny out the window. As he falls, The Thing knocks out the P-W and finds the heat shield that she was using to stay inside of the Torch. The three inside of Johnny get in a force bubble and Reed tells the freefalling Johnny to flame on, but he doesn't want to incinerate his family. Johnny eventually turns his flame on, and burns the robots that we're following him, and presumably the Psycho Woman.

Johnny thinks he just burned up his whole family, and Amy consoles him. Just then, the three other members of the team enter the room and reveal they were able to get out in time. The question shifts to what to do about the baby, and the team decides to go back in time and stop the Psycho-Woman before she can even impregnate Amy, effectively giving time and space an abortion (Ben calls it a "morning before pill"). Johnny vetoes the idea, but Amy tells him it's too dangerous for him to have a child, due to all his foes. To protect the child, Amy ganks the time remote control from Johnny's hand and jumps in the chronal portal.
Of course the FF could find her somehow, but Sue says that Amy made her choice. The issue ends with the Human Torch reflecting on the fact that she could have gone anywhere in time and given birth, and that his child could be out there somewhere.

What I Thought: After finishing this issue, I felt...discombobulated. Part of the reason I took my sweet time getting this review out to my adoring public is that I had to reread the comic like 4 times to really understand the main story. I'm still not sure I fully understand the Psycho Woman's motivations. She obviously wants revenge for the FF destroying her father, but why does she need to do all the stuff with the baby? Apparently she wants Johnny's tissue to make super warriors, so shouldn't she just knock him out and experiment on him?

As for the introduction of the Psycho-Woman, I will admit to being shocked by that reveal. I knew going into this book that the story somehow involved Psycho Man, and was a little let down to think the pregnancy scare was going to be another "it's all in their heads" kind of plot. To that end, the pregnancy being real and not just some faux hype Marvel made up to sell the issue was a good step towards truth-in-advertising. Of course, the whole idea of how to undo the pregnancy at the end treads so close to ground that a book like Fantastic Four just shouldn't go. Although Ben makes a somewhat good point that if you stop the Psycho Woman from engineering the ensemination, it's more like preventing a crime than aborting a child, but it still left me feeling weird. I was actually a little relieved that Amy made the choice she did, although it was a really awkward ending.

I guess the other two things that really stick out about this specific issue are the art and the format. Bryan Hitch is one of the best contemporary comic book artists of the past decade, and he really does great work with whatever assignment he is on. I quite enjoyed Hitch's tenure as the artist of the main FF book a while back, but this issue had a noticable difference in quality. While the writer Joe Ahearne gives Hitch a lot of splash pages and great action shots to play out, the inking of Hitch's work isn't as strong as previous outings. I believe it may be due to the fact that Hitch normally works with artist Paul Neary as the inker of his work ,and this time around Hitch himself and fellow artist Andrew Currie are responsible for the embellishments. It's odd to think a penciller could make his own art less dynamic by inking it himself.

Overall, I think this is one annual that deserved more varied material. I'm fairly certain editorial could have cut out some scenes, cleaned up some of the plot threads, and lowered the page count on the first story, opening up more space for another Fantastic Four related tale. While I generally don't advocate for the inclusion of filler material that tends to litter the back pages of annuals (the backups in annuals usually have as much substance as the final 30 minutes of SNL), I found myself wanting the pregnancy story to just get over with . Maybe a "Franklin Richards: Boy Genius" type comic strip or a "future foundation" backup would have been a nice way to offset the other story. I think annuals in general have gotten too far away from tying into the current continuity, and it seems like a missed opportunity with all that Jonathan Hickman has been setting up.

Wow. I'll stop here. Like Valentine's Day, I'm glad annuals only come but once a year! Until Johnny stops scammin on hotties in da club, vive la Fantastique!

God Bless America.

More "3" Spoilers?

2010-07-25T15:16:00.004-05:00

In a bit of interesting news to come out of the Spider-Man panel at San Diego Comic Con, a teaser image showed Peter Parker in a rather remarkable new costume:

It's looking more and more like Johnny Storm is going to be the one to leave the team in the upcoming "3" arc.

Staying Current- Fantastic Four #580

2010-07-05T18:04:00.021-05:00

Fantastic Four #580-"The Frank-Tastic Four"
Cover Date: 2010 Price $3.99 (because I had to buy the newsstand edition!)
Cover Tagline :"I promise...I've Given Up On Games Of Murder
Writer/Artist: Jonathan Hickman/ Neil Edwards

What Happened: We open the issue with the image of someone holding an invitation to the debut of a new toy line at a local toy store. The toy line features products with the likeness of the Impossible Man, the green skinned Fantastic Four ally with the same shapeshifting powers and annoying demeanor of the DC Comics hero Plastic Man.

We find that the person holding the invite is none other than young Franklin Richards, the son of Reed and Susan Richards. Frankie is sitting with his mutant friend named Leech, one of the filthy wretched Morlocks whom the Fantastic Four recently adopted. The two decide they're tired of waiting to leave for Arcade Toys, and it's time to go.

We cut to Reed Richards, talking to the "Future Foundation", his new think-tank of young super geniuses. The purpose of the group is to solve the world's greatest problems, and Reed and the "FF" are discussing the first issue they want to tackle. Reed mentions that he is surprised that the group chose the subject they did, and before the readers are let in on what this means Franklin enters. Reed, being the world's greatest father (to Valeria), gives his son the brush off in light of the group's work. He tells his son that Johnny will accompany the two, and the following soul crushing scene occurs:

A dejected Franklin meets up with his Uncle, who consoles the child and teaches him to drown his sorrow by spending Reed's money.(Johnny also ominously mentions that he'll never have kids, which is the theme of this month's FF annual) As Johnny, Leech, and Franklin marvel at the size of "Arcade Toys", Johnny is alarmed by the presence of the villain known as Arcade! Arcade, a former X-Men villain whose shtick involved placing heroes in elaborate death traps he controlled like a video game, scolds Johnny for behaving so brutishly. Before Johnny can do any harm, the aforementioned annoying jade alien known as the Impossible Man appears and tells him no to be so confrontational. Arcade explains that he has given up games of murder, and that he and the Impossible Man are out to make some scratch by selling toys. The toys are made with little pieces of the Impossible Man's D.N.A., and have the same malleable qualities as Impy himself. As the kids in the toy store start clamoring for the toys as fervently as...kids in a toy store, Arcade decides that it's time for one more "little" death trap. The play things in the store start coming to life and attacking the patrons, and the little mutant Leech gets knocked out by some debris. Franklin, understandably upset, uses his recently restored mental powers to bring a stuffed dinosaur to life. He tells his uncle to fry the rest of the toys, and Johnny obliges. With the threat thwarted so quickly, the Impossible Man tells Johnny that he'll wrangle up Arcade. Case closed, I guess....

We cut back to the Future Foundation, who have invited Ben Grimm to come and join them. They tell the ever lovin blue eyed Thing that their first order of business is to solve the one problem Reed Richards never could: being able to change him back to his human form. The members of the foundation go on to scientifically explain the reasoning, but the gist of it is that the Thing will be able to change back, but only for one week out of every year. The Thing decides that one week out of 52 is worth it, and decides to take the cure.

(I should add that this issue had another two page interlude featuring the history of Nu-World, but I have no idea what the scenes mean to the story yet.)

What I thought: This issue was fun, but it's a bit of a detour from the high concept work Hickman has been doing. I liked seeing Arcade, a villain I've never really read about, but the reasoning for him attacking his customers as well as the resolution to the story are left unexplained. And as far as the Thing being able to transform....we've seen this story many times before.

This issue, much like December's 574, seem like stops along a much bigger road. For me, the most interesting dynamic I see coming to light is the sibling rivalry between Franklin and Valeria. As a super genius, Valeria is taking a lot of her father's attention, while Franklin is more of the nurturing type like his mother. Unfortunately, with Sue spending so much time as the human ambassador to the Old Kings of Atlantis, poor Franklin is getting the short end of the stick.

And I would be remiss not to mention that Neil Edwards did a great job with the art in this issue. Although he only has one more issue left, I wouldn't mind if he stayed on the book for good. He reminds me of a mixture of Scott Eaton and Bryan Hitch.

Well, now you're current with the FF. I made it in on time this month! Until I start getting these reviews done on the same day the issues are released, vive le fantastique!

One-Shot Showdown! Stan Lee Edition

2010-07-03T22:26:00.019-05:00

vs.
2008's Fantastic Four: The Lost Adventure

Greetings True Believers! Today's match up has some truly excellent potential for comparative points to ponder. Both of the specials featured in this titanic tussle were penned by none other than the Fantastic Four's very own co-creator, Mr. Stan "the man" Lee! What's even more exciting is that the artists on these issues are both seminal masters in the mighty Marvel manner. Excelsior!!*

*(For those of you that don't speak Stan Lee's native tongue of "Stanish", that means both of these comics were written by Lee, and illustrated by artists who are synonymous with drawing Marvel heroes.) Without further ado... Fight!

The Last Fantastic Four Story

The Plot: "The Universal Tribunal", a collection of minds that communicate through thought alone, decide that Earth serves no purpose and decides to destroy it once and for all. The Tribunal sends its envoy, the indestructible behemoth known as the Adjudicator, to pronounce that the human race has one week left to live.

The entire Marvel race attacks the Adjudicator to no avail, and finally Reed Richards hatches a plot. He sends the Silver Surfer to find a race of unthinking creatures that could defeat the Tribunal. These Decimators attack the Tribunal, and then the Marvel heroes go and save the Tribunal from the Decimators. HUH??

Positives: + This story draws you in with an interesting premise: "What would Marvel heroes do if they knew they only had a week to live?" Lee BRIEFLY explores the relationship of Ben and Alicia, as well as Johnny coming to grips with the fact that his playboy lifestyle will leave him cold and lonely. And I had to laugh because there is no mention of Valeria whatsoever here.

+ John Romita JR. pencils this issue and is brilliantly inked by Scott Hanna and colored by Morry Hollowell. This is one comic where I actually noticed the colors, which are usually lost on me.

Negatives: - While the premise intrigues, the plot fails to deliver. This story reads like the Second Coming of Galactus, except this time he's invincible.

And watching every single Marvel hero try their power on the Adjudicator gets pointless after a few pages. It's like they think he's the sword in the stone, and each hero believes he/she is King Arthur. Look, if Dr. Strange couldn't beat the thing by the hoary hosts of Hogwarts (or whatever), I doubt Ben Grimm's fists could do anything.

-The price/ format seem a little puffed up. It's a prestige format $5 one-shot. Granted John Romita JR. is great, but a lot of the material seems like filler.

- The whole plot of Reed unleashing the Decimators on the race that condemned Earth seems out of character to begin with, and then to have the heroes save the day by saving the very race they endangered just boggles the mind.

Fantastic Four: The Lost Adventure

The Plot: OK, promise you'll stick with me for a second. Stan Lee and Jack Kirby created the Fantastic Four, and worked on the book for 102 consecutive issues(as well as 6 annuals!). That's a lot. They had material for issue 103, but Jack Kirby quit Marvel. Marvel took some of the stuff from this 103rd issue and eventually put it into Fantastic Four #108, in a hodge podge of cut and paste storytelling. What "The Lost Adventure" does is takes Kirby's old pages and notes, and with the help of some current artists, issue 103 is presented in a form closer to what it was supposed to be.

In the issue, Reed Richards recounts a tale of how the team fought a man named Janus, who also goes by the name "Mega-Man." Insert Dr. Light or Zero jokes here. Anyway, Mega-Man has a power vest that has virtually unlimited capabilities, and he uses it to rob a bank. In the bank, Ben Grimm and Johnny Storm just happen to be making a deposit. Mega-Man wipes the floor with them and Johnny gets knocked out. Later, Reed figures that Janus is the Mega-Man, and when he goes to visit the guy at home in Kansas, he's surprised to see that his legs are all busted up. So he has Sue go and hide a spy camera in the guy's house, and they decide to watch him. In the end they figure out that Janus is two brothers, one handicapped version and one evil. Reed uses the Mega-Man's power to fix the guy's busted leg, and then condemns both Januses. One for being evil, and the busted legged one for not telling anyone about the evil guy.

Positives: + It's Jack Kirby on art. They didn't call him "King" for nothing.

+ The issue has the new version of issue 103, Jack's original pages, and a reprint of issue #108. You can see the way everything got all screwed up with the issue after Jack Kirby quit Marvel. It's the one time I've ever seen a relevant reprint that wasn't just filler!

Here's a page from the new version of 103-

Here's Kirby's original work for the sane page (notice the missing panel that Ron Frenz filled in above)-

Here's How Marvel originally used the same page, by cutting it up for Fantastic Four #108-

+ Stan Lee can write the Thing like no one else. I laughed out loud while reading some of his dialogue.
Negatives: - Thanks to this comic being a recreation of a deceased man's half erased notes, this plot gets jumbled. I know the creative team handled it with care, but the issue was still pretty convoluted.

-Stan writes some new things like "D.S.L. line" into this comic, making it feel a lot less representative of the time period it supposedly hearkens back to.

-Overall, I think this unpublished comic wasn't finished enough to warrant this type of presentation.

Winner: While I would not endorse either of these as possible purchases for readers out there, I can safely say that The Last Fantastic Four story is the winner here. With an interesting premise, a more current flavor, and some wonderfully illustrated images, "Last" at the very least held my attention until the end. While I would never disparage the "King", I wish Marvel would have respected him and fans a little more by leaving that particular adventure "lost."

So until Stan Lee and I team up on a comic, Excelsior and Vive le Fantastique!

Fantastic Four #291

2010-06-30T16:51:00.029-05:00

Fantastic Four #291-"The Times They Are A' Changing!"

Cover Date: June 1986 Price $.75

Cover Tagline :"The World's Greatest Comic Magazine!"

Writer/Artist: John Byrne

What Happened: The story opens with the image of a flying car touching down in a dark alley in Greenwich Village . The car is from the spy organization known as S.H.I.E.L.D, which is an acronym for some technical sounding branch of the government. Suffice it to say, S.H.I.E.L.D is like the F.B.I , C.I.A., Department of Homeland Security, and Star Trek all rolled into one. Those in the car include Sue and Johnny Storm, the jade skinned powerhouse known as the She-Hulk, and the gruff war veteran Nick Fury. The foursome get out of the delori--I mean hover car, and explore their surroundings, trying to get a bead on the differences they sense. Fury tells the others that he is all too familiar with the area, because they have landed in his old neighborhood...in the year 1936!!!

While the team stands in a bit of astonishment, Johnny mentions that Sue is in charge, as Reed Richards is now dead. Geez, what happened?! It's only been 3 issues since my last trip to "the box." Anyway, Sue says that Reed would indeed know what to do, and who to contact. As anyone whose seen Time Cop knows, it can cause irreparable damage to the time stream to interact with anything the past. As Sue talks, Fury alerts her to the presence of a dreaded garbageman, who will assuredly be startled at their appearances as he turns the corner. Sue deftly handles the situation by cloaking everyone and the S.H.I.E.L.D car with her invisibility powers. That garbageman could have forever altered the Marvel Universe....

Thanks to some quick thinking, Fury then uses an imaging device in the S.H.I.E.L.D car's internal computer to make it stand out less. While the images available do not include 30's models, Fury makes the car look like a U.P.S. truck ,which is inconspicuous in the 1930's landscape apparently. She- Hulk even makes a snide comment, revealing John Byrne's politics underlying attitude about U.P.S' aesthetic choices. Man, this is comics, get off your soapbox.

As the team drives through the streets trying to think of some contacts they could meet with to solve their chronological predicament, a police car turns on its siren behind them. In a clear case of time based profiling, Fury states that the cops must have seen the truck's unchanged license plate from 50 years in the future. As Fury speeds away, he evades the police and is startled as he turns the corner and finds that he and his passengers have gone back...back to the future!

Yes, for some inexplicable reason, the team appears to be back in their own era. Johnny "worst teammate ever" Storm immediately jumps out of the car and tells everyone that he has to go make sure his fiance Alicia's okay. He flies to her apartment, and she says everything's fine. Johnny asks her what she has been doing since all the time warp stuff happened, and she tells him its only been 3 hours since they last spoke. Johnny is confused, since he believes he has been gone a long time, what with all fighting in the Negative Zone and watching Reed die and such.

As Johnny goes to explain his whereabouts, he suddenly finds himself back in the past, with Alicia nowhere to be found. Johnny takes to the skies in flame form, and forgets that whole "don't mess with the past" rule. But it's okay, because he has "air brakes", a la Willie E. Coyote. Just don't look down, matchstick.

On the other side of town, we find that Nick Fury has crashed the S.H.I.E.L.D car into a wall, seemingly on purpose. It seems that S.H.I.E.L.D. often uses holograms to mask secret entry ways around town, and as Fury drove towards one in the future, the timeline switched back to the 30's. Fury's knocked out cold, and in need of a doctor. Sue tells She-Hulk to watch over ol-one eye, while she gets help. As she leaves, Fury's radio pipes up with a message from agents who are aboard a S.H.I.E.L.D. satellite called Space Platform One. As She-Hulk talks to the agents, they are a bit surprised to find out they're calling 1936.

We cut to a scene with Sue wandering the streets of New York, the places she's familiar with all but unrecognizable now due to the time travel. As Sue explores, she ponders the gravity of her new responsibility as team leader of the FF, as well as the reality that her husband is dead. We get a nice "when Sue met Reed" history lesson, and my theory that John Byrne must have had a Fantastic Four "origin recap quota" written into his contract gains more validity as we see another small flashback to that event.

As Sue continues to worry, we jump back to the She-Hulk, who is still on the horn with the satellite. She explains to the agents that her team is stuck in 1936, and they tell her it must be a localized issue, because all their instruments scan a normal Manhattan setting. Shulkie tells the agents to hold on, as she sees a car about to run over a guy in a trench coat.

Knowing the lesson that she shouldn't trifle with the past, the She-Hulk decides to intervene anyway, and stops the car from running down its intended victim. His attackers call the She-Hulk a devil and flee the scene, and she asks the smooth looking gentleman she just saved to tell her his story. He obliges, and tells her that he's "Licorice" Calhoun, a Clarinet player from a local jazz club.

It seems Licorice's dreams always come to fruition, and this was a trait which his boss was trying to exploit by making him dream of riches. Licorice explains the men in the car wanted to run him down because he didn't dream of riches, but blood and fire. The blood and fire, he found out, were the bosses horse stables, which burned to the ground.

While the deaths of horses makes for pleasant conversation between She Hulk and Licorice, Nick Fury awakens in the hover car and tunes in the radio. After hearing a report about something in "a German leader in Berlin", Fury flips out and takes off in the flying car. She-Hulk tries to stop him just as Sue returns. The women, along with "Licorice", watch Fury fly away, and Sue says they have to stop Fury. Because Sue knows that Fury is going to try and kill Adolf Hitler, an action which could severely disrupt time and space. Didn't they learn anything from Time Cop!?

What I Thought:It's getting harder to judge these issues for quality. Coming in from the standpoint of not knowing what happened to Reed, how the team got the past, and why they were with Nick Fury in the first place, I actually felt as discombobulated as some of the characters in the comic. I'm not saying that as a criticism though, it was actually kind of fun to try and decipher what happened. I think as usual some of this issue feels stretched out, especially scenes like the team almost getting discovered by the garbageman. But still, that kind of "story stretching" beats the heck out of some of the offenses found in modern comics, where whole issues could be axed without losing any of the story.

As far as the plot, I was intrigued by the whole switching back and forth between eras concept. The time travel bit with the "should we save Hitler?" question is cliche, but for a character like Fury it at least has a little bit of relevancy. I would like to think Fury would know better nowadays and just leave the timestream be. To give this issue a little more credit, I was curious enough about what would happen next that I went online and bought issue 292. I'm actually a bit saddened that I'll soon be reviewing FF books that aren't by John Byrne.

And while I rag on Byrne for including the FF's origin so much, I understand that comics and related bits of information were not as readily available at the time as they are now. The fact that Byrne so masterfully recaps Sue's whole life in one page either says a lot about his abilities, or very little about Sue's personal life outside of Reed.

So until Marty McFly joins the FF, vive le fantastique!

"3"-The Mystery Deepens

2010-06-28T11:16:00.008-05:00

I feel as if I should retract something from yesterday's post, entitled "what is '3?'". While Marvel Did release teaser images showing possible combinations of the new Fantastic 3, I failed to find and post ALL of the images. I incorrectly reported that it would be the Invisible Woman or Mr. Fantastic who would be killed off. As you can see from the images below, no one is safe from speculation:

Option 1- No Reed

Option 2- No Johnny

Option 3- No Ben

Option 4- No Sue

I originally thought Sue would be the one to die, but after pondering it a while, it's hard to say. I keep thinking that if Sue does indeed die, no one will be left to care for the children. But with Reed recently enrolling the kids in his own personal "Future Foundation", he may be there to pick up the pieces. Also, with Sue's death, the grief may drive Reed to ask the Future Foundation to do some questionable (a.k.a fun to read about) things. Call me a pessimist, but I just see the Future Foundation blowing up in Reed's face.

Anyway, I apologize for misinforming the masses (all 2 of you) about the possible outcome of this story. But look at it this way, with 2 more people who could possibly die, the story just got twice as interesting.

Until my math related jokes become funny, vive le fantastique!

What is "3?"

2010-06-27T15:30:00.001-05:00

(Editor's Note- The following post contains spoilers...and fun!)

Spoiler images and solicitations for the Fantastic Four's next big storyline, simply entitled "3", have been popping up in interviews, at conventions, and online for months now. At first it was assumed (mostly by the editor of this distinguished weblog) that the storyline had something to do with Ben Grimm, the superhero known as the ever lovin blue eyed Thing, joining the New Avengers team. But now that the arc is drawing nearer, Marvel has unleashed some more cryptic warnings.

After reading an interview on ComicBookResources with writer Jonathan Hickman, it is revealed that the story will feature the war of the four cities, the resurgences of Galactus and Dr. Doom, and that through it's course one of the members of the team will die. Hickman went on to say that unlike previous times the team has lost a member and found a replacement, he will approach this loss with more of a "family-oriented" attitude. The approach makes sense, because if someone's little brother dies, they don't just go and get the neighbor kid to take his place. Marvel released these teaser images accordingly:

So it would appear that either Reed Richards or Susan Richards will no longer be on the team after issue #587. As it is comics, there is a good possibility that the change will not be permanent, and could just serve the story for a short time before being reversed. After all, there have been plenty of issues where one, more, or all of the cosmic quartet have died and been revived. The above images were done by the incomparable Steve Epting, who will be joining the book for the "3" arc. Many know the artist as the man who helped kill Steve Rogers, illustrating the now classic Captain America #25. Ifanboy had both those teaser images, as well as some preview pages, one of which can be seen below:

Things are certainly looking up for the "World's Greatest Comics Magazine." Until the book becomes Fantastic One, vive le fantastique!

Staying Current: Fantastic Four 576-579

2010-06-23T15:50:00.024-05:00

(Editor's Note- "Staying Current" is a feature intended to to let all of this site's loyal readers know what's happening within the newest issue of Fantastic Four. However, as the feature hasn't been "current" for quite some time, today is going to be a summary of the past 4 issues. It is urged that in addition to reading these synopses, you go enjoy these books in their fullness, because they are really jam packed with wonderfully engaging stories.

What is essential to understand is that in issue #574 an adult Franklin Richards came back from the future and told his sister Valeria that there would be a war between 4 cities. In issue #575 the FF came across city #1, the city of the High Evolutionary.... )

Fantastic Four #576-"Prime Elements Part 2- The Old Kings of Atlantis"
Cover Date: APR 2010 Price $2.99
Cover Tagline :"Tell me, who speaks for man?"
Writer/Artist: Jonathan Hickman/ Dale Eaglesham

What Happened- The issue starts with Sue explaining to Ben and Johnny the existence of an Arctic base that she and Reed's science grants help to fund. Because of the base's unique location in extreme temperatures, it was of interest to science when it was discovered that there was a large body of suspended water near the area. According to Sue, this means that any living thing in the area will have been untouched by human evolutionary standards for the last 500,000 years, and could follow a divergent evolutionary path.

The research team stationed at the base then discovered that there was some type of "superstructure" beneath the ice. This structure was also of interest to the terrorist group called A.I.M., who Reed discovers via spy satellite is trying to infiltrate the area. Naturally, the Fantastic Four head to the base to stop A.I.M. and any dastardly deeds they may enact on the area.

The FF arrive at the base and are told by of the research team that there is a thermal vent near the superstructure whose sheer noise will prevent the team from communicating while they are below the water. In a masterpiece of graphic storytelling, the comic goes "silent" for the next few pages as the team dives below the water past the thermal vent and finds not only A.I.M terrorists, but giant eel and fish-type creatures as well. The FF repel the A.I.M. threat, and are cornered by what could be referred to as "fishmen." The fishmen give the FF some telepathic communicators (not unlike the brain slugs from tv's Futurama), and the team is taken before three royal undersea figures.

The main royal figure speaks to the FF and identifies himself as Ul-Uhar. He welcomes the team to Atlantis, to which everyone gives a big WHAAAA?? Reed tells Ul-Uhar that Atlantis has been destroyed, to which the other royal figures reply that the entire SEA is Atlantis. Ul-Uhur then goes on to say that he is confused, because the A.I.M. agents and the FF are both human yet fight each other. He then basically asks the FF to "take me to your leader", wondering who the king of humanity is. Reed tells him that humanity isn't like that, with things like democracy, the U.N, and text voting on American Idol speaking for the best interests instead of one person. Sue then stops Reed, and tells Ul-Uhur that she speaks for humanity. Ul-Uhur tells Sue that she needs to deliver a message: "The old kings of Atlantis have returned."

What I Thought: This issue was very powerful. Although at first I felt cheated by the lack of dialogue, it all came together after taking the time to appreciate Mr. Eaglesham's visuals. And seeing Sue step forward as the voice of humanity gave me chills, because it fits her personality yet promises huge repercussions. But that's what a Fantastic Four issue is supposed to do, right?

Fantastic Four #577-"Prime Elements Part 3- Universal Inhumans"
Cover Date: MAY 2010 Price $2.99
Cover Tagline :"How Does One Best Serve the Universal Collective?"
Writer/Artist: Jonathan Hickman/ Dale Eaglesham

What Happened: This issue starts six months in the past on the blue area of the moon, which is home to the Fantastic Four's allies (and sometimes lovers) the Inhumans. The leader of the Inhumans, the tight lipped and ultra cool Black Bolt, summons his people to head out with him into space. Before they leave, Black Bolt and Medusa bid farewell to a white-bearded Inhuman who will be staying behind. Some ominous words about a "gathering" are spoken, and Black Bolt places a large rod (it's kind of like a citronella candle) into the surface of the moon, and then the Inhuman ship takes off. Time goes on, and as the bearded Inhuman waits, he tells the other inhabitant of the moon, everyone's favorite voyeur Uatu the Watcher, that some crazy stuff is about to go down. Suddenly, a giant alien space ship lands on the surface of the moon.

Reed uses his spy satellite (just like last issue!! Maybe he wants Uatu's job) and sees the ship landing on the moon. He tells Sue, Ben, and Johnny that it appears to be a colonization vessel, and invites them to come investigate. When the team gets to the moon, Reed sensors pick up tens of thousands of heat signatures within the vessel, and the team wonders how to get inside. The white bearded inhuman from the prologue appears and invites the team to come inside. The Inhuman reveals that his name is Gandal--I mean "the summoner", and he welcomes the team to the "universal city."

The summoner shows the team around the ship, and asks Reed if he knows how the Inhumans came into existence. Reed gives the summoner a big "duh" and Reed basically tells beardy to "tell me something I don't know. " The Summoner obliges by telling Reed that the Inhumans the FF have come to know are not the only Inhumans. They are creations of the Kree race, and their mutations are brought on by their skins exposures to the Terrigan mists. But the crazy thing is, there are 4 other kinds of Inhumans, all with different catalysts that change them (included in these 4 kinds are Dire Wraiths, who were last seen in this site's review of issue 277).

Reed, Sue, Johnny, Ben, and I are all blown away by the implications of this wide of a scope of Inhumans, but that's not all. The Summoner goes on to tell Reed that Black Bolt went on his space journey to go and destroy the Kree Supreme intelligence, and that when he comes back, he is going to be the leader of all 5 of the tribes of the Inhumans. Reed asks if they plan to live on the moon, and the summoner drops a final bomb: They are all going to live on Earth.

What I Thought: This issue blew my mind. Pure and simple. Jonathan Hickman took a play out of the Geoff Johns handbook and totally retconned an established property such as the Inhumans, giving them an entirely new purpose in the Marvel Universe. In one issue. See, this is why I tell people to read this book!

Fantastic Four #578-"Prime Elements Part 4- The Cult of the Negative Zone"
Cover Date: JUN 2010 Price $2.99
Cover Tagline :"Here you die. In the Negative Zone, you can live."
Writer/Artist: Jonathan Hickman/ Dale Eaglesham (in his final issue...tears.)

What Happened: This story is narrated by Johnny Storm and begins with him scammin on a hottie in da club. Actually for a club it's really weird, and there's a bald guy calling himself the anti-priest and yelling about "new rules for life."

As for Johnny and the girl, he invites her back to the Baxter Building to see his "rocket ship" (okay, that was my joke, not his), and when the girl finds the opening to the Negative Zone portal, this happens:

Yes, you saw correctly, giant mechanical bugs with bombs jumped out of her back and flew into the negative zone. Johnny follows the bugs inside and finds that there is a battle raging with the N-Zone. The battle is being fought between those who follow Ahnillus, the former bug faced ruler of the Negative Zone, and Blastaar, who used to just be a lowly Negative Zone villain. Johnny then goes on to tell that the "#42 Negative Zone Prison" from the Civil war has been re purposed into a city. We as the audience find out at this point that he has been telling the story to Valeria, who is entering facts onto her computer. She comments that the Negative Zone Prison City, along with the city of old Atlantis and the city of the Universal Inhumans, is now the fourth city that the team has recently come across.

We cut to a scene with Susan Richards visiting Ul-Uhur (the king of the Fishmen from issue #576), along with an envoy of Namor. Namor's envoy tells Ul-Uhur two things: Namor is awesome, and until they're willing to come to the surface, the "old kings" of Atlantis have no say in anything. So just to spite Namor, Ul-Uhur raises the city...

We cut back to Johnny, as Reed comes in to have a heart-to-heart with him. Reed basically tells Johnny that bringing that bug filled flusie back to the Baxter Building was really bad judgment, and that everyone else is changing, so Johnny needs to grow up a little.

And just for good measure we end the issue on a scene of the Inhumans. As they prepare to conquer the earth, they offer a sacrifice: they send 6 of their best warriors into a battle they cannot win. The issue ends with the warriors rushing into the negative zone, and a caption that reads "And so, in the Negative Zone, the war of four cities begins."

What I thought: Another terrific issue. Hickman captures Johnny's voice in a way that Mark Millar only wishes he could. Youthful, humorous, but experienced as a superhero, this is a Johnny I'd like to (and probably will) read more about.

As the end of the "Prime Elements" arc, I will say that there was very little resolution here. I don't think you can really criticize something for having too epic of a scope, but it does depend a lot on presentation (like Final Crisis, with its big ideas but limited space). This arc sets the stage for the future of the FF series, which I knew from reading interviews with writer Jonathan Hickman. The casual reader may be a bit put-off by the scope of these stories, and this might falter when read in a trade, but I appreciate that threads from Hickman's first issue are still paying off eight issues later. I'd liken this book to Green Lantern in the sense that everything eventually serves a purpose, no matter how small it may seem. Rest assured, it's a HUGE story, but if you stick with it, it's very satisfying.

Fantastic Four #579-"The Future Foundation"
Cover Date: JUL 2010 Price $2.99 (Thank you, Marvel!)
Cover Tagline :"The Future of Man is not here...it is out there."
Writer/Artist: Jonathan Hickman/ Neil Edwards

What Happened: Our story starts At the Singularity conference in Golden , Colorado. A meeting of the most brilliant minds from around the world, speakers come to Singularity share ways in which Science will effect the future(apparently it's real), and it's Reed Richards' turn to speak. Well, does he have something to say. After praising the ideals of the keynote speaker (who happens to be the She-Hulk, who talked about the ethics of genetics within the confines of the law), Reed rips into his fellow presenters. I never thought I'd enjoy reading a comic where someone gets a "stern talking to", but watching a smart guy tell a bunch of other smart guys that they've gotten lazy is just plain awesome. Anyway, after Reed tells the audience they've gotten old and their ideas are not bold enough, he resigns from the Singularity council like a total rock star.

We cut to a week later, and Alex from the Power Pack is arriving at the Baxter Building. Alex tells Reed that he doesn't feel smart enough to be included in Reed's new project, but Reed tells Alex his experience as a superhero offer him a unique perspective.

We cut to a scene of Sue talking to Ul-Uhur (the king of the fishmen), and he tells her that her request is unusual, but now that he raised the city, he feels as if he can dream again. He tells her that her wish is granted, and the scene leaves us hanging...

We go back to the Baxter Building, where the super smart Moloids who Ben Grimm rescued from issue #575 are doing equations. One Moloid realizes that there is a curved axis that runs through the 4 cities that the FF have recently been exploring...

We then cut to a two page spread about Nu-World, which was seemingly destroyed in issue #573. I'm gonna be honest, I'm not fully sure what this part of the story means just yet, other than it obviously has huge bearing on what's coming up next.

We then jump back to the Baxter Building, where Franklin is sparring with Artie and Leech (these Morlocks were taken in by the FF around issue #574). Franklin is looking for a catch phrase, while Ben Grimm and Alex from Power Pack watch the fighting. In the corner of the room Valeria Richards tinkers with the brain of the Dragon Man, saying she is trying to make him better, but can't get it right. As Franklin beats up his friends, Artie shows Valeria with his mind what the Dragon Man's brain looks like disassembled. Val then asks him to show her with his mind what her pen looks like disassembled, and she thinks it's really cool...

We then cut to a scene of Reed visiting the "Wizard", a.k.a. Bentley Whitman, in his psychiatric hospital. Whitman asks Reed if he solved everything (referring to Reed's former goal in issues 570-573), and can tell by Reed's demeanor that he tried and gave up. Whitman gloats and tells Reed that it is scientific fact that everything will eventually burn. Reed, unimpressed, tells the Wizard that he is going to raise Whitman's young clone (who the FF adopted around issue #570) to be a good person. As you can imagine, the Wizard is not too happy about this development.

When we cut back to the Baxter Building, we see the coming together of all the elements of this issue into one conglomerate: a group called the "Future Foundation", made up of all the kids Reed has adopted as well as Alex and Dragon Man. Whether this has the makings of a new superteam or the comic book equivalent of the Hitler youth movement remains to be seen...

What I Thought: This is the first issue of Fantastic Four to feature "The Heroic Age" banner at the top, and I can very much see how it is intended to be a jumping on point for new readers. In that spirit of renewed hope and direction, it succeeds. We see the culmination of the fact that Reed has been taking in a lot of stray kids lately, and we see the seeds of their role within the promised "war of four cities." While I think it's time the ball got rolling on the war, I'm still impressed by how good these FF stories are.

Woah. There you have it. My brain is sufficiently fried from all that catching up. And since the newest issue of Fantastic Four hits stands today, we'll be seeing the summary of issue #580 shortly. Until I learn to not procrastinate, vive le fantastique!

New Feature: One-Shot Showdown

2010-06-22T21:39:00.013-05:00

It’s One-Shot Showdown! In which I compare the merits of two Fantastic Four related one-shots and render a verdict as to which one’s better. All decisions are final, written in stone, and utterly absolute…something around here has to be, right?

Today’s Theme: Humor

Today’s Contenders-
1982’s Fantastic Four Roast

Versus

2009’s Marvel TV: Galactus: The Real Story

Did you know there are some FF specials specifically written as satire?... neither did I. Not until searching some back listings of my favorite eBay store did I discover that these two issues even existed. And perhaps after we place them head-to-head, we’ll find some explanation for such graphic novel anonymity. Without further ado…Fight!

Fantastic Four Roast:
The plot: Fred Hembeck (apparently he’s a writer/artist) emcees a roast to celebrate 20 years of Marvel’s First Family. The entire population of crappy early 1980’s Marvel Universe make appearances, each with his/her individual take on the FF. Overall wackiness ensues as we discover that someone is out to get the FF.
Positives:
+ This is honestly one of the strangest FF-inspired comic books I’ve ever seen. Its very existence makes it a must-read for a collector such as this reviewer.

+ This comic book is for anyone who has a working knowledge of the Marvel Universe, and doesn’t take it too seriously. Jokes about “peeping Uatu”, Dr. strange being so boring that his speech puts everyone to sleep, and Moon Knight being a Batman rip-off give this book the perfect amount of tongue-in-cheek.

+ Despite the humorous nature of the book, there was a huge cast of artists who do some pretty impressive interiors, as well as a cool two-page pin up of all the Marvel heroes.
Negatives:
- Well, obviously the fact that this based in a time period when “roasts” were actually pretty common place totally dates this book.

- Like many older comics, the writing can be a bit verbose. With my modern attention span and comedic tastes, I’m used to a little more brevity.

- Fred Hembeck’s not as compelling as he believes.

And since you’re probably in the throes of curiosity, here are some scans:

Marvel TV: Galactus: The Real Story
The Plot: Think “TMZ meets the Marvel Universe” and you have the main contents of this comic. The idea is that much like the moon landing, there is a large section of the population of the Marvel Universe that believes that the giant purple planet-devouring villain known Galactus is actually a hoax. Interviews with the Wingless Wizard, a certain blurred out Avenger with a purple costume and bow and arrows, and a man claiming to be Galactus himself all help to posit various theories about the true nature of the purple destroyer.
Positives:
+ This comic has a quick comedic pace and some good visual gags. The blurred out Avenger is obviously Hawkeye, and as he is interviewed you can clearly see another picture of him on his wall behind his blurred visage.

+ This comic does a good job of incorporating the Marvel Universe as a whole into the whole Galactus conversation. There is even talk of a secret Illuminati that has orchestrated all the events in the Marvel Universe that consists of Beta Ray Bill, Dazzler, Puck, Deadpool, and Lockjaw.

+ The mock ads, skewed re-enactments of the FF’s history featuring rather ugly actors, and various conspiracy theories provided about Galactus aid this book in a consistent tabloid television-like feel.
Negatives:
- The cover is taken exactly from the splash page. That just screams “rush job from editorial” to me.

- Not really the story’s fault, but there is also a reprint of Fantastic Four #50 in the back of the book. It’s nice to see Kirby work in colored form, but it just seems like filler in this instance.

The Winner….

Upon second look, these books both proved to really have some laugh out loud (or at the least chuckle out loud) moments, but I’m going to go with the Fantastic Four Roast comic. While both of these one-shots are products of their respective times, and “tabloid exposes” such as the Marvel TV issue will probably seem dated down the road, the name of the game ultimately is "funny." The Fantastic Four Roast is joke-after-joke, done in such a flamboyantly farcical manner that no part of the story that takes itself seriously. While you may be hard pressed to remember the gags of the Roast issue specifically, it serves to make you take a second look. So if you’re ever faced with the dilemma of only being able to choose one these books, you can now make an informed decision. Until I find a Disco themed Fantastic Four one-shot from the 1970’s, Vive le Fantastique!

Thinking Outside the Box: Fantastic Four #277

2010-05-16T00:31:00.024-05:00

(Editor's Note- For those of you out there who don't yet know my story, this blog started as a way for me to document my journey as I navigate my way through a giant box of Fantastic Four comics that I won on eBay. Although I've always had a mild interest in the team, buying such a large lot of their comics at once ignited within me a mad desire to go back and buy any and all of the other FF comics I can get my hands on. For those comics bought after the initial box of 163, I confer upon them "outside the box" status.)

Fantastic Four #277-"Full Circle"
Cover Date: APR 1985 Price $.65
Cover Tagline: "The World's Greatest Comic Magazine" Writer/Artist: John Byrne

What Happened: For details on what happened in the beginning of this storyline, please follow this link. This story picks up pretty much where #276 left off, but in a rather interesting manner. Told entirely in "split-screen", this issue is like two full plots for the price of one. Or at the very least, it's like 2 player Goldeneye for the Nintendo 64. Yeah, it's that exciting.

In the top half story, we get the return of Ben Grimm, a.k.a the superhero known as the Thing, to Earth from the Planet of the "Secret Wars." The Thing is back and for some reason wearing boots and a black unitard, and his first order of business is to visit his longtime gal friend Alicia Masters. Of course, Ben opens Alicia's door to find none other than his supposed best friend Johnny Storm shacking up with her. In a moment that's been a long time coming, Ben calls Johnny out for being the player that he is.

The two argue, and of course, Alicia breaks it up. Alicia slaps Grimm (proving she really is blind), and tells him that it's more than hanky-panky, she actually loves Johnny. While the Thing never intended to actually get back together with Alicia, he feels slighted that he wasn't even able to express this to her without the "love struck Romeo" getting in the way.

As the lover's triangle heats up, Ben notices that something weird is going on . He turns to see strange happenings with the Sun. Apparently an alien world is hurling towards the Earth. Talk about the best moment ever for a distraction. As Ben, Johnny, and Alicia wonder what's going on, the entire Earth begins to shake. The two heroes spring into action,as Ben rushes off to help people and Johnny goes to drop Alicia off at the Baxter Building. While there, Johnny meets up with she-Hulk and the always politically incorrect Wyatt Wingfoot, who tells him that reports of damage are coming in from all over, meaning that the new planet in the sky is quite a threat. Johnny tells everyone to hang tight, and flies off. Alicia yells for her darling to be careful, revealing that her Johnny got a "thang" going on. This prompts She-Hulk to ask the obvious question: What will Ben think?! And Alicia mentions he just found out. At these revelations, She-Hulk realizes her time with the FF may be coming to a close...

We shift back to the Thing talking to a hottie on the street, asking if she needs help (because it's always more fun to save hot people), and she tells him that the "world-merge" is happening as she transforms into a really ugly orange creature. The creature shoots a tentacle into the Thing's head, and he realizes it must be a "Dire Wraith." Of course! That's totally logical?????

Anyway, the Wraith promptly passes out, and we find out that its entire planet has been destroyed by a space station. The editor's note tells us to read Rom #65 for details. Did you know this was some kind of crossover issue? Surprise! neither did I....

Any way, the top story ends with She-Hulk saying she will leave the team now that Ben has returned, even though it saddens her to do so. Ben tells her not to worry, because he doesn't want his job back. Apparently his new boots (and unitard) were made for walkin!

The Bottom half of the story is more of a direct continuation of the main story from last issue (as well as the video review). Last issue ended with Dr. Strange, Marvel's master of magic, feeling a great disturbance in the force, and flying off to combat the problem. As his story opens, he finds that the small Connecticut town that was attacked last issue is smoldering and surrounded by police. Strange approaches the cops disguised as an average doctor, just lending a hand, and is shocked to find that there are a few dead bodies laying on the street- those of Reed, Sue, and Franklin Richards.

As strange is taken aback by the fact that the heroes seem all but lost (and I'm taken aback by the fact that Sue is in her underwear for some reason), everyone's favorite paranoid budinski Mrs. Chalmers shows up to tell the police that her neighbors were really demons in disguise. Strange's interest is piqued, and Chalmers reveals that she hired the exorcist Elspeth Cromwell to dispatch the evil pretenders...

We cut to a scene of Susan Richards (no longer in her undies but in full FF gear) being tortured in Hades by Mephisto, Marvel Comics answer to the Devil. As any good husband would, Reed tells Mephisto to get his brimstone scorched hands off his wife. Mephisto goes onto show Reed whose boss, in a comically frightening manner, by stretching his face like silly puddy.

And like any good wife (geez, Reed and Sue love each other, we get it), Sue yells at Mephisto to stop, before he kills Reed. Old Phisty says that deaths not a problem anymore, and proves it by impaling the Invisible Woman on a stalactite, or stalagmite, or big poky thing. As she writhes in pain, Dr. Strange appears to help the FF. Phisty knocks the good Dr. back, and Strange realizes the demon is getting a power boost from a nearby crystal. Strange then notices that the crystal contains none other than Franklin Richards. Strange goes to free Frankie, and Reed realizes that Mephisto is afraid of the lad.

Reed also realizes that the FF aren't actually dead, but just in a mental form of their bodies, and that's why they're in their uniforms and not their underwear. Strange blows open the crystal, and Frankie wakes up in a haze. Mephisto goes to clobber the boy, but then this happens:

Franklin, as a powerful reality shaping mutant, literally wishes Mephisto away.

Well, the FF wake up from death, and Dr. Strange lets Mrs. Chalmers know that she severely misjudged her neighbors. He also says that Mephisto probably isn't gone for good, and may be back someday to ruin Spider-Man's marriage in a poorly-conceived and divisive storyline. Oh, and by the way, Elspeth Cromwell doesn't wake up. Ding Dong, the witch hunters dead, and it's pretty much thanks to Mrs. Chalmers....

What I Thought: Normally, my thinking outside the box reviews won't be this long, but I'm glad to say that this was one of the best issues I've read of FF since I started buying heinous amounts of them.

I think what made this issue so satisfying was that it tied up a few storylines with an urgent sense of pacing. We FINALLY see the Johnny/Ben/Alicia thing come to a head, the Mephisto story gets a quick ending, and even the worst part of the story (the Rom tie-in) is brushed aside inconsequentially enough for it to be ignored. The split-screen storytelling may seem cheap and gimmicky, but at least it's something different. I've stated many times that John Byrne did a lot of different things during his time with the FF, and this issue is another example. I feel like a broken record saying that but it's true. I mean seeing Mephisto torturing the FF in Hades is something I don't exactly expect from my monthly FF comics, but Byrne used the situation to allow the characterizations of Reed, Sue, and Franklin to really shine.

Well that's it for now. I start my summer vacation tomorrow night, so I hope to unveil a new feature or two here within the week!!! See you soon, and until unitards become cool, vive le fantastique!

Did you even know we were at war?

Fantastic Four #288

2010-04-30T20:38:00.018-05:00

Fantastic Four #288-"Full Circle"

Cover Date: Mar 1986 Price $.75

Cover Tagline: "Doctor Doom vs The Beyonder"
Writer/Artist: John Byrne

(Editor's Note- Have you ever had one of those tasks on your "to do" list that you hate to do so much that you'll put off forever? Well consider this review one of them. It has literally been a goal of mine to "review FF #288" for about a month. Seriously, I need some closure from this issue, and continue moving on with my life. So for the good of my sanity,this blog, and the world at large, here we go....)

Story: This issue quickly picks up right where the last one left off, with Johnny "I'll shack up with my best friend's girl the minute he's out of the picture" Storm literally torching his way through some of Dr. Doom's mindless robot drones. You see, at the end of last issue, Johnny received a distress signal from his sister, the Invisible Woman, indicating she was in danger at the Latverian Embassy. As if anything good could ever come of having a Latverian Embassy anywhere....

As Johnny flies around burning things, he thinks aloud that it's strange that the doombots are so active, considering their master is dead. As the Human Torch turns to fry his next victim, he finds not an automaton, but an old lady. This "harmless old lady" is Sarah, the next door neighbor of Peggy McArthur, who we learned last issue was the simple housewife whose husband's body had been taken over by the consciousness of Dr. Doom. In one 8 panel page, good old Sarah pours on the exposition with a shot-for-shot retelling of Peggy's story, thereby rendering the purchase of the previous issue moot. Ah, the eighties, when writers retold you everything you needed to know EVERY issue.

As Sarah finishes telling Johnny her tale of neighborly woe, he stands in seeming disbelief. But he gives her the "geriatric benefit-of-the-doubt" pass and goes on to find Doom and Peggy, along with his sister. Spotting a melee in the next room, the Torch spots She-Hulk and her fellow superheroine friend Wasp slagging some more doombots. Once again, I must reiterate, there is something disturbingly gratifying with the way the Doombots cry out in agony as they're destroyed: "Squeeeee!"

Not since the Power Rangers used to destroy the nearly endless hoards of puddys by punching the "Z's" on their chests have I so enjoyed the deaths of mindless foot soldiers.

As the Wasp and She-Hulk continue to rip through Doombots, Reed Richards comes out of pretty much thin air to congratulate them on the way they can beat on mindless droids. Reed tells the two lovely ladies that he was there responding to the Invisible Woman's distress signal (ahh, the old distress signal plot device. Where the heck would the FF be without it?), and he asks them where Susan is. The heroines tell Richards that his wife is off with the Invincible Man, who we as readers learned was actually Dr. Doom. Well, he's Dr. Doom in the body of Mr. McArthur, in the garb of the Invincible Man. Mom always said to dress in layers, but that's just ridiculous.

As Reed and the super hotties chat it up, Johnny joins the scene . And with their reunion, Dr. Doom also makes his presence known. Hitting the group with a sonic disruptor, Dr. Doom then proceeds to place each of the heroes in a cage that matches and disrupts their powers. Reed and the Wasp are in some kind of giant bubble, Susan Richards is in a cage that has the same frequencies as her own force field, Johnny Storm is in an inert fluid that allows him to breathe but not flame on, and the She Hulk is in a web of invisible unbreakable molecular chains. I'll take Doom's word for it as far the actual scientific explanations of his contraptions go, but She-Hulk has to go and call his bluff. She soons learn not to trifle with Doom, as she cuts her skin on the invisible force field. Wenches be triflin, yo.

It seems as if Doom has everyone where he wants them, and Reed asks if it really is Doom in the flesh, or another cheap Doombot. Doom assures everyone that it is him, and takes off his mask to reveal the face of Peggy McArthur's husband Norm. Peggy yells to Mr. Fantastic that he is the most brilliant man on earth, and that he needs to get her husband back. "Norm Doom" goes a little nuts and grabs Peggy, lifting her in the air and telling her that no one is smarter than him. This scene looks familiar,hmmmmm. Maybe because if you replace Peggy with the little Latverian boy Kristoff from issue #258 you would have the exact same panel. But like I said in that review, if you can't trust a megalomaniac dictator to be consistent, who can you trust?

Anyway, in making his point that he really is smart, Norm Doom points Peg's attention to a flaming energy pit on the floor. Apparently, aside from looking like a great place to make a S'more, the pit is full of black magic that is calling forth the most powerful being in the universe. As Doom mentions this, everyone gasps in horror, because they know who the "living embodiment" of energy in the 1986 Marvel Universe is.... The Beyonder! Did I mention that this issue is an insufferable tie-in to the completely unnecessary Marvel company-wide storyline called "Secret Wars II"? The Beyonder appears, in his Saturday Night Fever Best, perm and all.

Well, the Beyonder is not too keen on being summoned, and asks Doom who he is and what he wants. This is a bit odd, considering the two had met before. Doom takes advantage of this confusion by blasting the Beyonder. You gotta admit, shooting the most powerful being in the universe with anything is pretty impressive. It seems that when Doom and the Beyonder met during "Secret Wars I", Doom actually stole the Beyonder's omnipotent powers, so there is a glimmer of hope that he can do so again. But the tables are quickly turned as the Beyonder begins to blast Doom, and lectures him on the depravity of mankind. As the Beyonder begins to go into full lecture mode (we're talking graduation commencement levels), someone yells "No!!"

The Beyonder turns to find that it was Reed who was yelling, and asks him why he of all people would want to save Doom's life. Reed explains that the Beyonder had met Doom before, so there must be something wrong since he does not remember him. Reed then goes into a 3 page history lesson about what Doom did during the first "Secret Wars" series, which in a nutshell was that Doom stole the Beyonder's powers, got killed, and was then reborn and banished to who knows where. The Beyonder still claims that he doesn't know this guy, and Reed figures out that it's because the Beyonder is looking at Doom's aura crossed with that of Norm McArthur. The Beyonder looks closer, and realizes that it is the same jerk's aura residing in the body of someone new. The Beyonder goes in to make the kill, but Reed once again yells "No!" Man, I thought his catch phrase was "great scott!"

Reed explains to the Beyonder that when all the heroes and villains were plucked from earth and put on an alien world to fight in the first "Secret Wars", the Doom that was there had his own body, with it's own aura (not the Norm Doom aura he has now, but the original flavor Victor Von Doom aura). At the time of the first Secret Wars, Doom's regular body had been destroyed, so for him to have his original flavor aura during the time of "Secret Wars I" must have meant that the Beyonder pulled Doom from a different part of the time stream.

Richards goes on to tell the Beyonder that this means that when the Beyonder pulled Doom out of the time stream, he created a self fulfilling time loop, wherein everyone else's pasts became the new Doom's future. If the Beyonder were to erase what the Doom from the past was going to do, it would erase what had already happened for the others, creating a collapse in time and space. Well, the beyonder is taken aback by this possibility, and does what any self-respecting surprised god would do: he separates Norm McArthur and Doom, banishes Doom to the first "Secret Wars", and then leaves.

Well, just when you thought it couldn't get anymore convoluted, Reed tells the gang that now that the Beyonder banished Doom from this time period back to the beginning of Secret Wars, it means that the Doom from the end of the Secret Wars is now going to reappear to complete the time loop and right the universe's sense of balance. The FF high-tail it out of there so they don't have to face Doom when he appears, and as they leave, the last panel shows Doom starting to come back to reality. Maybe someday the FF will face Doom again...maybe.

What I thought: You already know I hate this issue. It took forever to read, understand, and write about all the garbage in this issue. I could have lived with the Norm Doom storyline, but once the Beyonder showed up, and we got into the whole "time loop" fiasco, it became one giant headache. I will applaud the amount of exposition and ground that Byrne had to cover here. He had to retell the events of last issue, move the story along, introduce the Beyonder, recount the first Secret Wars series, and then explain how Doom had come back to life again.

I had some fine folks comment that Byrne was just doing stories that fit what was being dictated to him by editorial at the time, and after giving that consideration, I could see that type of reality come to life in this issue. If anything, this issue taught me a little comics equation. Event comics+time travel headaches+ Jerry curl velour suit Beyonder= Totally Bad Issue. It can be any comic, not just Fantastic Four, and that equation would still hold true. So until "Secret Wars III" comes out and totally blows my mind, vive le Fantastique!

Only Doom would commend someone on their sensuality before trying to murder them.

Odds and Ends

2010-04-18T23:49:00.007-05:00

Greetings True Believers, FFanatics, Plazaheads, Richards Ruvvers, or whatever other pet name you prefer, I hope you're all doing well.

I wanted to stop by and mention a few things:

1.) I have been putting off blogging due to real life commitments mostly, but a lot of the delay can be blamed on having to review issue 388. Seriously, it's that bad...so stay tuned I guess. But in all reality, it looks like I won't be here too much until the end of next month (May), when summer starts and I really won't have anything to do but sit around and read comics. I'm hoping to do a lot of work here on the site, including some catch up reviews of the "Staying Current" feature. Jonathan Hickman just pulled a Geoff Johns sized retcon on the Inhumans last issue (577) and it's kind of crazy. Coupled with his (seemingly) complete annihilation of Nu-World, this guy is just flat out steam rolling his way into FF history...and my heart.

2.) In a follow up story to one of my earlier posts, it was announced this weekend at the Chicago Comic and Entertainment Expo (or C2E2) that Marvel is going to put out some kind of Fantastic Four related story called "3". This is my speculation here, but it may have something to do with Ben Grimm being announced as one of the New Avengers not too long ago. Or it could be some kind of team up between Franklin, Valeria, and Lockjaw. Fantastic 3...where's the alliteration in that?

3.) Dale Eaglesham, artist extraordinaire on the current run of FF comics, will be leaving the book to do a project that stars (and stripes) Steve Rogers (the former Captain America) with writer Ed Brubaker.

4.) Because I have yet to reveal this online, I did in fact finish all of the Heroes Reborn: Fantastic Four trade paperback. Your adulation and commendations can be sent via the comment section on this very site. Many a man has stared down the 12 issues contained in the book, only to be bored to the point of insanity and or no return. While I did falter and stumble in the face of such sheer mid-90's ridiculousness, I picked myself up, gritted my teeth, and took in every awkward moment of the half baked storyline. I'd like to say that I'm a better person for it, but no, Heroes Reborn doesn't work like that.

Well, 4 points seems cliched enough for a stopping point. So until this blog has a billion followers, Vive le Fantastique!

Fantastic Four #287

2010-03-27T21:58:00.016-05:00

Fantastic Four #287-"Prisoner of the Flesh"

Cover Date: Feb 1986 Price $.75 (only 5 issues from last time and it's 10 cents more!)

Cover Tagline: "This is Peggy McArthur, average American housewife. In ten seconds, she will make a decision-- if it's the wrong one it will mean the end of the Fantastic Four!"

Writer/Artist: John Byrne

Story: We start this issue with the Amazing Reed Richards, leader of the world famous Fantastic Four, wearing cybernetic earmuff headgear. Reed is talking to Janet Van Dyne, the superheroine known as the Wasp. Richards and his family have been staying in the mansion headquarters of the Wasp's team, the Avengers, because Richards' base got blowed up real good. It would seem Reed has begun tinkering with the technology lying around Avengers mansion. The Wasp reminds Reed that the last place he built machines in is now a smoking crater, but apparently he doesn't see the humor in the situation. There's a fine line between wet blanket and totally aloof, and for as smart as Reed is, he can't see it....

Anyway, Reed explains that the machine he's working on has mapped out Dr. Doom's brain wave patterns, and can pick up his trail should the mad despot return. As Doom is supposedly dead at this point in history, Richards is proving why he's totally smart by preparing for the eventuality that Doom WILL indeed come back to life. That's some genius level foreshadowing!

As Mr. Fantastic and the Wasp finish doling out exposition, the ever dashing Susan Storm enters, claiming she's ready to hit the town. Apparently the Wasp made it a point to get Sue a hair appointment. The She-Hulk also enters the scene, and what started as a simple issue of Fantastic Four quickly begins to resemble a G-rated episode of "Sex and the City." As the lovely ladies and the seemingly pimp-like Reed Richards walk towards the foyer of the Avengers mansion, the aforementioned Doom Brainwave detector kicks on. Ah, it's like that old proverb: if a Doom Brainwave machine comes on, and no one's around to hear it, does it really detect anything?

We cut to the least manly scene ever, as the Wasp introduces Susan Storm to her hair stylist, Andre. In a convenient-to-the-plot detail, Andre is not only flamboyant, but he is also the personal stylist to the French Ambassador, leading them to have the hair appointment in the French Embassy. As the woman sing Andre's praises for cutting Sue's hair shorter than her brother Johnny's, there is a loud BOOM. It seems the embassy across the street, the Latverian Embassy, is under attack. In a strange twist, the attacker appears to be none other than the Invincible Man, a man who was originally the Super Skrull masquerading as Sue Storm's late father. Geez, how many people do you need to be masquerading as before it's just unnecessary? Seeing the Invincible Man is quite jarring for the 3 heroines, so they enact a perfectly executed masterpiece of tactics and battlefield strategy...yeah, they jump and punch him.

As Sue captures the Invincible Man in a force field, he bids her to stop, because he's only trying to help save lives. Sue relents, and the Invincible Man explains that he's attacking the Latverian Embassy because Dr. Doom is alive and well inside, and Doom is responsible for the deaths of his wife and baby. To gain Sue's trust, the Invincible Man points up to the window of the embassy, where a shadowy figure looms. It appears to be none other than Doom, so the 3 woman fall back to carefully plan their next move. Okay, not really they just rush the doors of the Embassy.

The scene shifts to a suburban neighborhood setting, where an old maid type woman is busy watching her "stories." As she's deeply engrossed, the door bell frantically begins to ring. The old lady opens up to find her exasperated neighbor, a young woman named Peggy (from the cover of the book!), clutching her baby and asking to come in. The old lady invites Peggy in, and asks why she's so frazzled. Peggy recounts the story that landed her the coveted spot on the very cover of this issue, saying that her husband Norm recently came home acting strange.

It seems Norm came home late and in a funk on the same day it was reported that Dr. Doom had attacked a Shop-Rite. The Norm that came home had a weird European accent and began tinkering with things in the basement. Norm tells his wife that she's a prisoner until further notice, which in this reviewers eyes isn't really that different from most suburban marriages. Norm makes a purple costume with a green hood, and it turns out that he is the one masquerading as the Invincible Man. Peggy sees her husband on TV in the costume he was making, and she and her elderly friend head for the Latverian Embassy.

The scene shifts back to the Embassy, as the Wasp, She-Hulk, and Invisible Woman bust in and fight a bunch of robots. Sue Storm follows the Invincible Man up the stairs as he tries to escape during the commotion. Stealthily following the Invincible Man, she stumbles upon none other than Doom himself. The two have a short conversation about how Sue is insolent for breaking in, and then Doom tries to blast her. Sue explodes the Doc, and it turns out that it wasn't really Doom, but one of his patented Doombots. In one of the more sadly funny scenes from the book, the Doombot yells "Squeee!" as it explodes from the inside out. Sue stands over the remains, saying out loud that the real Doom is dead. Of course stopping to talk to herself only leads her to getting shot in the back by the Invincible Man, who yells out "Doom never dies!" Are you starting pick up on the Norm/ the Invincible Man's real identity?

Sue uses her invisible powers to look under Norm's mask, and she doesn't recognize him, but she attacks him nonetheless. She drops a bunch of bricks on him, and as she is busy battling her purple foe, Norm's wife Peggy comes up from behind and ponders what she can do to help her husband. Peggy has an ethical dilemma, given her husband's recent actions and Sue Storm's heroic reputation, but decides to bash the Invisible Woman over the head with a vase. Storm gets knocked out, and Peggy goes over to comfort Norm, who reveals himself to be neither the Invincible Man or Norm, but actually THE REAL DR. DOOM!

Doom goes on to tell Peggy that he sent his evil consciousness into Norm's body before his own body was incinerated back in issue 260. Apparently Doom has the ability to send his consciousness into other beings, as we the editor's note tells us we learned from Fantastic Four #10. ...remember that? Come on, it was only like 20-some odd years before this. Peggy realizes she has made a mistake, and Doom says this was all his plan to lure the FF to the embassy. We end the issue with Johnny Storm trying to mack on Alicia Masters in a horse drawn carriage, only to be called away by his emergency signal watch. Man, can't a player catch a break?

What I Thought: I'm still utterly amazed by the fact that Byrne can write an issue of Fantastic Four that really only features one true member of the team, and has her in a situation where she goes from getting her hair done to fighting a dictator, and still he makes it feel like a normal FF comic. The variety that Byrne offers forth for the heroes in his run on this book is pretty imaginative, and I can see that many creators since have tried to duplicate his sense of scope. Of course, the part with Doom transferring his mind was a little lame, only because it didn't seem like a power he had used all that often. Having Doom use a power he hadn't mentioned in the last two hundred and sixty issues is kind of like Batman referencing some thing he did once in an old adventure from the 50's. Yeah, technically it happened in continuity at some point, but it doesn't mean it's still worth coming back to. Anyway, I've already gone and read the next issue, and from what I remember, it has a really confusing resolution. Be forewarned, it involves Secret Wars II and some type of time paradox. Until that French stylist Andre straightens up his act, Vive le Fantastique!

New Feature: Thinking Outside the Box

2010-03-16T23:29:00.010-05:00

As you might know, this blog began as a way for me to document my progress as I read through a box full of 163 semi-sequential Fantastic Four comics. As you may also know, getting this many FF comics at one time ignited within me the need to go and track down as many cheap back issues as possible.

As I'm currently on vacation, I thought it would be good to try and fill in some holes in my collection. After perusing eBay for deals and oddities, as well as Prairie Dog Comics in Wichita, I've been able to get quite a few treasures. I think all in all, I've been able to get a snazzy Mike McKone poster, 2 full mini-series, 5 one-shots, and about 20 single issues. I even tracked down some of the issues that come directly after those that I already reviewed, so now I can see the resolutions to all those cliffhangers! I don't think I'll be retroactively reviewing anything, unless I somehow get through the stuff I have....yeah,right.

So in the future, any reviews of books that I got from a different source than THE box will be denoted as "Thinking Outside the Box." This way, I can differentiate between those from the original stack and those that I got out of comic lust.

Until I find a better way to use disposable income, vive le Fantastique!

WHAAAA?

2010-03-05T19:13:00.008-06:00

For those of you following the current goings ons in the Marvel Universe, you know the whole place is undergoing a major overhaul. As the "Dark Reign" storyline comes to a close, taking along with it the oppressive regime of supervillain Norman Osborn, a new status quo is going to take hold. This new epic,the "Heroic Age", is going to be a period where heroes are heroes, villains are villains, and puppies are cuter than they've ever been. At least that's what I've gleaned from spoilers online.

Well, with the buzz surrounding the "Heroic Age", Marvel has been announcing the new line-ups for old teams. This includes shaking up the Avengers books, which have existed in pretty standard forms for about 3 years, since the end of the Secret Invasion storyline. As Marvel has been announcing the members for the new book "Secret Avengers", not too many shocking names have come up. This week Luke Cage, Spider-Man, Wolverine, and Luke Cage's wife Jessica Jones were announced.

But the kicker was today's reveal: Benjamin Grimm, a.k.a the Thing, will be an Avenger!

What this means for Ben's position on the Fantastic Four remains to be seen. But this is another case of the regular Marvel Universe taking cues from the Ultimate Marvel Universe, in which Ben Grimm is also a member of the Avengers. I'm taking a "wait and see" attitude, despite the fact that Ben just plain belongs on the FF at all times.

A Little Art Appreciation

2010-02-28T22:17:00.004-06:00

I unfortunately have a Twitter account, which I use to make mostly random and unsolicited comments about comic books. Much like this blog, no one reads it but me, but I'm okay with that. I still think it's funny.

Anyway, one of the comic pros that I "follow" is Marcus To, the current artist (and briefly, the saving grace) of the DC Comics series Red Robin. Mr. To put up a link to his Deviant Art gallery, which featured an awesome slew of sketches, including one of the Flash and the one found below:

Since I've only seen To do DC characters, seeing the FF sketch was pretty cool. Check out To's site, and until I can draw like him, Vive le fantastique!

Fantastic Four #282

2010-02-26T22:31:00.013-06:00

Fantastic Four #282-"Inwards to Infinity!"
Cover Date: Sept. 1985 Price $.65 (Reaganomics are kicking in!)
Cover Tagline: "Inwards to Infinity!"
Writer/ Artist: John Byrne

We begin the issue with a splash page of Franklin running through a pile of rubble and yelling for his daddy. There's also a quote from Moby Dick included, but I didn't read it, because I hate when media uses literary quotes to try and "class up" whatever form of junk entertainment they're really presenting (see the TV show "Criminal Minds" for a weekly example). As Franklin runs through the rubble of what appears to be New York City, a bunch of planets appear in the sky and then some spaceships blow each other up. A giant Lizard/alien/dinosaur (Lizaliosaur- I made that up) thing appears and scares the youngest Richards.

The Lizaliosaur follows Frankie for a few more pages, and his cries for help go seemingly unaided. As Lizaliosaur closes in, some beams off energy hit its (gender neutral because it reproduces Asexually- copyright Kello) face, and steam envelopes it and Franklin is whisked away to safety by what appears to be a piece of rainbow. Franklin lands in a forest, and meets an ailing creature that can only be described as a mix of DC's Firestorm and a My Little Pony (a 15/85 ratio, respectively). This all sounds really masculine, doesn't it?

Franklin asks Ponystorm if it's okay, and it can't speak. All of a sudden, Franklin sees some shadowy figures standing on a ledge above them, and it turns out that it's Marvel's wascaly band of pint sized heroes known as the Power Pack. The Power Pack, for those of you who don't know, are a group of kids who decided to wear matching jammies and form a superteam. Franklin tells the PP that he's in trouble, and their leader tells them to grab his hand. But just as Franklin reaches out, the scene fades out in a blur of white.

We turn the page and find out it was all an elaborate dream. Frankie gets up to tell his parents, Mr. Fantastic and the Invisible Woman, about the craziness. At this point the FF's headquarters were being repaired after getting blown up by Doctor Doom, so they were staying with the Avengers. Aww, "like a good neighbor", the Avengers are there. Franklin rides the elevator down to the lab, where he sees his dad feverishly working with the She-Hulk (those two spent a lot of time together in the lab. I wonder...NO! Put the thought of your head, Kello...). He's rebuilding something called a Reducto-Craft, which will allow the FF to chase down the Psycho Man.

Reed, She-hulk, and Johnny Storm discuss whether they should be chasing after the Psycho at all, given that the Beyonder has come to Earth. Did I mention this issue is a tie-in to Secret Wars II, the most unnecessary sequel since Speed 2? Sue Richards interjects that the FF better be going after the Psycho Man, because he has committed such heinous crimes against her. In an issue I didn't read, the Psycho Man went in and violated Sue's soul somehow, and she wants revenge.

Franklin busts in to tell his dad about the nightmare, and Sue yells at him to go back to bed. Obviously, she's acting in a manner which some people from the 1950's would call "hysterical." Reed defends Franklin, but then sends him with the Avenger's butler Jarvis to appease his angry wife (he really is smart, isn't he?). Even Johnny thinks Sue is acting weird, and he's as daft as they come...

Anyway, the Reducto-Craft is finally ready, and Reed tells Sue that following the Psycho Man will take top priority over the Beyonder, because other heroes like Alpha Flight are on the case. The team gets in the Reducto-Craft, which looks like a Landspeeder from Star Wars with a transparent bubble top. The FF get set, and the craft begins to shrink...next stop Micro-verse! Reed begins to navigate through the sub-atomic particles, but the craft is inexplicably out of control, as if it's being pulled by some force. He lands the craft, the team gets out, and Johnny notices that the Microverse looks different from the last time they were all there. He flames on, and goes to investigate, and is captured by a giant pair of tongs. It turns out that the Psycho Man set up a trap for the team, and he captures them all and puts them in test tubes. The team thought he wouldn't be able to change shapes in the Microverse, but they were wrong....perhaps dead wrong.

Well, the series goes on for about 25 more years and 300 issues, so "dead wrong" is probably a little overdramatic.

What I thought- To be honest, I really liked this issue when I first read it. but upon further review, I realized that way too many pages are devoted to Franklin's nightmare. Seriously, there are 9 pages of him having this surreal dream, and then there is absolutely no resolution to it save for his mom yelling at him. Obviously, there is a lot of foreshadowing, and it's meant to set up a future storyline involving the Power Pack, but Byrne could have done in 5 pages or less.

As far as Sue's issues with the Psycho Man, it sounds like whatever went down was pretty intense. The best way I can describe what she describes is "soul rape." But Sue acting all vengeful and out of character is classic FF. I mean think about it, that's where we get like half the stories from, right? It's like "hey what's wrong with Johnny? He's acting like he's possessed by El Diablo", or "Reed's acting as weird as Doom...wait a minute, he IS Doom!" As I make my way through "the box", I'm trying to pick up on these trends in storylines. In the hands of less capable writers, they're quite obvious and forced. With Byrne it's at least passably entertaining.

Until Marvel apologizes for Secret Wars II, vive le fantastique!

Fantastic Four #276

2010-02-21T13:57:00.004-06:00

Fantastic Four #275

2010-02-20T21:16:00.008-06:00

Fantastic Four #275-"The Naked Truth"

Cover Date: Feb 1985 Price $.60

Cover Quote: "Hey guys--what's big and green and has a staple in her navel?"

Writer/Artist -Johny Byrne

(Editor's note- this is pretty much a farce of a comic. Any unbelievable situations described by the reviewer are in fact true to the story, which is credited as Kevin Nowlan's idea.)

We begin this issue with a splash page of She-Hulk sunbathing on the top of the Baxter Building. While the Buxom beauty lies with a towel, jean shorts, and a smile, we cut to a sleazy photographer and his pilot friend circling the jade giantess in a helicopter. The chopper pulls in close, sending a large amount of wind the She -Hulk's way. Her towel goes flying, and the photog gets the money shot he hoped for. Wow, that's the craziest 2 pages ever in a FF comic. And they've seen some messed up stuff!

She-Hulk, feeling as if her privacy has been violated, retaliates by jumping on the chopper. As the pilot tries to shake his hanger-on, everyone's favorite Atlanta Brave single tear shedding Native American cliche Wyatt Wingfoot (who had rejected his role of Chief to live a life of adventure) emerges from the Baxter Building, scantily clad and looking for the She-Hulk. Apparently he was going to do some sunbathing himself, either that or her was doing a really excellent unarmored Peter Rasputin impression. Seeing the chopper situation, Wingfoot gets a small "Fantasti-speeder" (copyright me!) and gives chase.

In a really well-executed scene, the She-Hulk is thrown from the chopper and flies through a high rise office. Wyatt comes to her aid, and by the time they get their wits about them the copter is gone. The two head back to the Baxter Building and decide to fight this battle using not brawn, but the She-Hulk's superhuman ultra lawyer powers. Juris prudence away!!

The She Hulk calls the radio station that the copter belongs to (it was a Traffic Copter), asking if they could tell her where it touches down. The surprisingly forthright station manager gives her the name of the private airstrip, and advances the plot rather quickly for the 2 panels in which he appears. I don't know about you, but I usually have to make like 4 phone calls whenever I have errands to take care,of, and one of those calls ends up being with some guy in India who HAS to read from a script and pretend that he has no personality.

So Shulkie and Wyatt find the pilot, threaten him, and find out who bought the photos-a yet unnamed source. But from this scene we jump to Alicia Masters' apartment, where she is walking down the stairs with her Sinead O Connor haircut and no pants. Normally those two things could be excused by the fact that she's blind, but she appears to be doing the classic "walk of shame." Alicia is calling out for Johnny Storm, a.k.a. the Human Torch, who is waiting with the "morning after" coffee at the bottom of the stairs. Alicia is the ex-girlfriend of the Thing, who is Johnny's best friend and teammate. The Thing at this point has not returned to the ranks of the FF because he's off having other adventures, and Johnny and Alicia have grown quite close in his absence.

Johnny tells Alicia he's sorry about last night feels like he took advantage of their friendship, she assures him that they're grown ups and they can do what and or who they want. Okay, she's more eloquent then that, but seeing these two together in this situation made me want to rip this issue to shreds. It was one of those moments where I felt like the Thing was really my friend, and I had to stand up for him...that's really dumb.

So back in the other sexually related plot thread, the She-Hulk is going to the place that bought her photos, but in her normal human form as Jennifer Walters. Wyatt accompanies Walters to serve as a bodyguard, and so he can score major brownie points. Walters, who resembles her cousin Bruce Banner quite a bit in her human form enters the offices of the tabloid known as "The Naked Truth" (a subsidiary of the Daily Bugle...ok, not really) , and asks for Mr. Vance.

Mr. Vance, who seems like a cross between Stan Lee and Larry Flynt, tells Walters that She-Hulk is a public figure and that she shouldn't have been sunbathing in public. Vance expounds upon the facts that the pictures are already printed, and that he already made a fortune, which he's keeping in a small safe in his office. Apparently the money went right to his head, because he couldn't resist telling that to his two guests. Jennifer Walters then turns into the She-Hulk, crumples the safe full of money into a ball, and hands it to Mr. Vance. Shulkie and Wyatt leave the office, knowing that at least they stopped the perv from getting his payment for the pics.

In the story's "epilog" (don't look at me, that's what it says), we are shown a scene 3 weeks later at the Baxter Building. A "business casual" Reed finds Sue and asks her is she's okay. Apparently something big happened, because Sue is looking in on her son Franklin and talking about the great distress they all just went through. I missed something I guess, but it has been a 6 issue gap between this issue and the last one I reviewed. Reed tells Sue that he's ready to go out and see "Little Shop of Horrors", and then sees that She-Hulk is depressed as well. He asks her what's up, and she tells them it's the past few days (What did I miss???), and that the magazine comes out. Just then, Johnny "worst friend ever" Storm flies in the window holding a copy of the mag.

Johnny shows She-Hulk the pictures, and to her delight, someone had color corrected her green skin to look more flesh colored, because they thought there was a defect in the original photo. Johnny tells She-Hulk that he needs the magazine back, because he has a pair of green tinted glasses in his room. The comic ends on the Torch flying to his room and the She-Hulk chasing him down. It's like something out a sitcom....an 80's sitcom. "Sit Ubu ,sit."

What I Thought: I saved my more sarcastic moments for this portion of the post, given the very ridiculous nature of the story to begin with. First of all, She-Hulk is green. Does she really need to tan her green skin? From the looks of it, Jennifer Walters is the one who needs a tan. And the end of the issue, with Johnny and his "green tinted glasses." Dude, it's a naked girl, shouldn't that be enough? I mean use a little imagination if the color is that big of an obstacle.

And Johnny and Alicia- look, I'm not a prude, and I'm not uninformed about Fantastic Four history. I know Johnny and Alicia have a big long relationship that turns into an even bigger storyline, but it was weird to see a Fantastic Four comic show "the morning after" for anyone but Reed and Sue. Even then, it's a really weird thought. It might just be me that feels that way, maybe I am a prude..... I am a prude.

Overall, this comic was fun. It was a good change of pace from the other stories. I think this is why Byrne was so great on this book, he put these characters in a lot of varied situations. I think what all writers/ artists strive for with the FF is the feeling like it's "family first", but the family could go anywhere, and most end up taking them to the Negative Zone ad nauseum. Despite it's soap opera elements, I can see that this issue never set out to take itself too seriously, so I won't even try to either. So until Johnny gets an imagination, vive le fantastique!

Good News/ Bad News

2010-02-20T11:54:00.004-06:00

Hello True Believers!

I owe Stan Lee a nickel every time I write that, but it's totally worth it. I'll tell him to put it on my tab. Anyway, I just wanted to let you know about some things going on with the blog, now that I'm getting some more time to work on it. So would you like the good news or the bad news first? I always pick bad, so I know what's wrong right away.

Well, it's nothing too serious, just that the scanner part of my "all-in-one" printer recently broke, so I'd just like to apologize for the lack of visual content on the site. I feel as if it's negatively effected the aesthetic appeal of such an illustrious institution as Four Freedoms. Plus, pictures are pretty. That was the bad news. See, it wasn't so rough!

The good news is that I found a store on eBay that has a lot of the issues I'm missing from the much ballyhooed "box" for a dollar a piece, and flat rate shipping. They also have a bunch of FF minis and one-shots for a dollar an issue, which will do nicely for the other new features I'm planning. I'm so excited for those, but they require an active scanner. So I'm thinking I'll get the comics soon, and a new scanner down the road somewhere...who knows, maybe I'll just splurge and get one. I'm bad like that.

Until Next Time, Vive le Fantastique!

Fantastic Four #269

2010-02-18T21:08:00.015-06:00

Fantastic Four #269-"SKYFALL"
Cover Date Aug 1984 Price $.60
Cover Tagline: "Who is Terminus?"
Writer/ Artist: John Byrne

Story- We open the issue with a thoughtful Wyatt Wingfoot, who is the FF's longtime racistly stereotyped Native American compatriot. He's standing and surveying the open desert, thinking how he is a day away from taking over as the Chief of his tribe. Wyatt slightly laments this fact, because he has shared so many globetrotting adventures "off the reservation." (couldn't resist)

All of a sudden, our pondering guest star is surprised by a giant beam coming down from the sky, blasting the desert ground around him. Think of Wyatt as an ant, and the beam like a focused light from a giant magnifying glass, and you have the picture. Knowing that this big beam means trouble for his tribe, Wingfoot runs off to alert the proper authorities--you guessed it-- the Fantastic Four! After all, if you could call them, wouldn't you?

We jump to a lunch date between Johnny and some dirty skan--I mean young, fashionable lady named Shar. the two are catching up, because at this point in comics history the Fantastic Four had just returned from fighting a "Secret War" in space. While they're conversing, Alicia Masters, Ben Grimm's ex-girlfriend and blind friend of the FF walks by looking a bit lost. Johnny totally ditches Shar and proceeds to help Alicia cross the street, because she was looking for the museum. That's the punchline to the old joke "Why did the blind girl cross the road?" Anyway, Johnny approaches the whole thing with trepidation because Alicia's former lover, the aforementioned Benjamin Grimm, decided to stay in space and continue fighting the aforementioned "Secret War."

We cut to the Baxter Building, the home base of the Fantastic Four, where we find a contemplative Susan Storm. Wow, there really was a lot of contemplating going on back in the 80's, at least in comics. Sue is thinking about recently losing her 2nd child (in issue 267) due to her cosmically irradiated cells, and how sad it is that the doctor told her not to have any more kids. As she wallows in guilt, her young son Franklin busts in and asks where the heck Ben is, and if the family can go to their home in Connecticut. At this point in the comics, Sue and Reed had set up secret identities in a suburban neighborhood to try and give Franklin some sense of normalcy. You think Reed would have calculated that would be a waste of time ,given the FF's propensity for epic adventures, but alas Sue walks Franklin down to see his pops.

Reed is busy looking like an old man and putting together some new machine with the surprisingly hot She-Hulk, who is now a member of the team in the Thing's absence. As sickened as this reviewer is by people who go gaga over drawings of women in comics, he will admit that John Byrne's She-Hulk is proportionately ideal. As Reed and Shulkie continue to build the machine, Sue asks what it is, and Reed blows up like 3 pages of pseudo-science that I'm sure John Byrne thought was very clever.

Essentially the machine Reed's building pulls the kinetic energy from the sun and transfers it for use in other places, thereby giving the world a free source of energy. The only problem is that it's so much power that it makes the things it is stored in implode. It's those little kinks that make scientific discovery so much fun! As the friends are reveling in Reed's accomplishment, Wyatt calls up to tell Reed about the giant beam cutting through the land. And as any distinguished super hero would cry, Reed lets out a mighty "great scott!"

As Reed is on the phone with Wyatt, the giant destructive beam crosses next to Manhattan, and the president calls Reed and tells him to get on the case. Reed takes She-Hulk to accompany him to the desert where Wyatt initially saw the beam, and tells Sue to stay home. Sue gets quite upset, and uses her powers to trash Reed's lab. Remember kids, she's the most powerful member of the FF. Coupled with the fact that she is a woman, you don't want to make her mad.

Reed and She-Hulk head to the desert, and along the way they discuss how in her secret identity as a lawyer the She-Hulk actually encounters as many complexities as Reed does as a scientist. It's a funny thing to see how naive and innocent She-Hulk was when she first came out in comics, because now she's written as one of comics' more notorious harlots. As she and Reed fly towards the beam, he realizes that it is a search beam from a hundred light years away, which means whoever sent it was smart enough to calculate where the Earth would be in a hundred years. All of a sudden, a giant vessel of some sort descends from the great beam. Reed once again cements his old man status as he yells "great scott!" ...Shouldn't Perry White be suing him by now or something?

The beam stops, leaving a smoldering vessel on the ground. Reed and Shulkie go to investigate, and Wyatt meets up with them there. He introduces himself to She-Hulk and the romantic foreshadowing almost punches you in the face. Maybe this was the seeds of she-hulk's descent into promiscuity...

As they flirt, Reed looks over his data from tracking the beam's path across the United States. He notices the pattern, and uses his "Universal Translator" (which rivals the "Bat shark repelent" from the 1960's Batman movie as the most convenient tool EVER) to decipher that the beam actually wrote a message. The message, which is printed on a ticker tape not unlike a fortune cookie, reads "I claim this world- Terminus". As Reed looks on the back of the tape for his lucky numbers (not really!), She-Hulk asks the logical question of just who is Terminus? Well, much to no ones surprise, the once smoldering vessel that arrived with the beam stands up and reveals itself to be "Terminus...master of this planet!" She just had to go and ask, didn't she?

What I Thought- As a set up issue I liked it. You can tell this issue was resetting a few things after the Secret War mini-series had shaken up a few Marvel titles, and it's also got a lot of story beats that branch off in different directions. I've read a few of John Byrne's more current (90's) work, and it's not as tight as the storytelling in these old books. For such a prolific career, his FF work stands out to me as his defining moment. I mean, it has to be a tie with his work on "Superman- Man of Steel" from the mid 80's, but this just encompasses so much character history without reinventing it.

Despite my making fun of it, I liked the science sounding stuff in this issue. It's not often when you have to read a comic a few times just to make sure you know which kind of science it's talking about. Usually they don't even make it sound half way plausible now, as Iron Man can wear an invisible Internet on his body that can go in space and blow up tanks.

And of course, I would be remiss if I didn't mention She-Hulk's appearance in this issue. I once described the She-Hulk to my friend as that hot girl you know from a distance who seems really cool and interesting, but once you get to know her personally, she is so off-putting and repulsive you want to run in terror. I still feel that way about her, given that she was most recently written as an Ally McBeal rip-off, but it's nice to see her humble beginnings. Her personality almost seems "cute" in these FF issues, which is more fitting for someone who inadvertently gained super powers from a blood transfusion.

So overall, I really liked this issue. It's not as classic as a few of the others from the box that I've read so far, but I liked seeing Reed and She-Hulk just chilling. It would be nice to know how the rest of the story turns out, but the next review jumps forward in time. Oh well, such is the fate of he pulls from the box. Until next time, vive le Fantastique!

I Don't Think This Counts...

2010-02-14T11:39:00.008-06:00

I hate blogs posts that simply put up links to other sites, but there was a cool little interview over at Newsarama with current Fantastic Four writer Johnathan Hickman about the future of the FF as it relates to Marvel's new "Heroic Age." Apparently, issue number 579 will be a "done-in-one" story that lets new readers come onboard ans get right into the story. It appears the issue will also feature a sweet Reed Richards spotlight cover by Alan Davis.

I think the best thing about this article is that Hickman states that his FF run is really telling a 30 issue story, broken up into arcs. It will be gratifying to see that come to fruition. Go here for the article.

New Feature: Staying Current

2010-02-10T23:41:00.029-06:00

Hello, true believers! Upon my return to the blogosphere, I'd like to take a moment to acknowledge the red-headed stepchild that is Four Freedoms Plaza. I started this blog with the intention of motivating myself to finish my giant box of Fantastic Four comics. It was my goal to keep a sort of a running commentary of how the FF changed over the years, by looking at snapshots of the team and the creators that so often butchered them. Because 163 comics was quite a bit of reading, I thought it would suffice to simply go through the box an issue at a time.

But then something happened. I really started to enjoy reading about the Fantastic Four.

After finding how enjoyable the team truly is, I began to grab all the FF issues I could. I became somewhat of a "thrifty completist", given that I had almost all the issues to come out in the last 4 years.

So in the spirit of expanding the world of Four Freedoms, I am proud to unveil the first of my 3 (yes, 3! Although it would be more cliche to think of 4) new features....drum roll, please...Staying Current!

"Staying Current" posts will feature reviews of and thoughts on the most recent issue of Fantastic Four. Because my love affair with the "World's Greatest Comic Magazine" has been rekindled, and because the current creative team of Jonathan Hickman and Dale Eaglesham are really great, I'm pretty excited to talk about FF material that ISN'T from the 80's.

So without further tomfoolery, I 'd like to present to you with the most recent outing of the FF... Fantastic Four #575!

Fantastic Four #575 "Prime Elements 1: The Abandoned City of the High Evolutionary"
Cover Date March 2010 Price $3.99 (because I bought the newsstand version... total rip-off!)
Cover Tagline: "There is chaos in the Underworld..."
Writer/ Artist: Jonathan Hickman/ Dale Eaglesham

This issue begins with 3 of the Mole Man's lackeys crawling out of the sewer. Well, they must have taken a wrong turn at Albuquerque, because they are abruptly hit by a giant mack ten truck. The two functioning moloids pop the head off of their friend (yeah, "what the heck?"), and proceed to make their way to the Baxter Building, home of the Fantastic Four.

Well, having the Mole Man's cronies in the lobby of their home alerts the FF to assemble and confront the creatures. In one of the oddest panels I've ever seen, the decapitated head of the moloid tells the FF to "clear the lobby." The floor shakes and the Mole Man makes his grand entrance riding the tongue of a giant monster (in a scene that harkens back to the classic cover of Fantastic Four #1). Old Moley tells the FF, that he needs his help to save the underworld, and we have ourselves a story arc....

Mole Man tells the FF the problem is that a leftover underground city which once belonged to Marvel baddie and (complete lame-o) High Evolutionary is causing great distress among his moloids, because the city has the power of superdevolving beings. As the moloids found the city, they began to devolve from mindless drones into something near-human (yeah, I'm not sure how it works either).

As Moley continues to explain, the increased level of intelligence that beings gain from the city is causing a rift between his Moloids and him, and the inhabitants of the city are planning to raise it above ground. This is a problem, because he likes to control the little monsters and their way of life. It's also a problem because the city lies on a fault line that will crack the Earth open if it comes up.

So the long and short of it is, the FF decide to go way underground to investigate the city. Along the way, they find the corpse of the Galactus engine from the Millar run of FF (always wondered what happened to that!), which Reed buried after that adventure. The FF pass a few new underground cities, including Lechuguilla (which has the distinction of having the worst fictional town name ever) and Meramec (a.k.a the Gungan city from Star Wars), finally reaching the gates of the High Evolutionary's base.

Everything is going crazy as the FF arrive, because the city is on the verge of collapse. The team gets ready to leave, but the Thing jumps ship to save some moloid kids who are being held prisoner. Apparently, they were kept as pets because they were born with normal intelligence. As Ben enters the city, his rocky cranium changes shape, and he becomes more ape-like. Yeah, this comic is as weird as it sounds.

The FF flee, shielded by Sue's force field. In what we call an old fashioned bait-and-switch, we the readers are led to believe the city was destroyed. In all actuality, the city is revealed to be raised up above ground. Ben's apeness goes away after an hour, and we learn from Reed Richards' files that the new city is now considered a potential threat to the United States.

What I thought: This is an anniversary issue, and as the beginning of the new arc from the incomparable team of Hickman/Eaglesham, there is real potential here. I will admit that the whole "devolving" thing is a bit confusing, because I would think that moloids are already devolved. I would also like to say that the press this issue received from Marvel was kind of misleading. At the beginning of 2010, there were a few pieces of FF spoiler art that showed both the Mole Man splash page and the Dead Galactus splash page. When they came out, they gave some grand impression that this issue didn't precisely deliver on. Not that the pages weren't cool, but in context to the story they were just cool treats for the casual reader. But fear not, much like this blog, it will hopefully get better as it goes.

Fantastic Four #267

2010-01-01T18:35:00.000-06:00

Fantastic Four #267-"A Small Loss"
Cover Date: Jun. 1984 price $.60
Cover Tagline: "In the Arms of Octopus!"
Writer/ Artist: John Byrne

Story- The story opens in a hospital waiting room. A stubbled and distraught Reed Richards stands in shock as he catches me up on what must have been last issue's cliffhanger. It seems that Reed is in need of help, and his friend Dr. Langkowski suggest they get it from Dr. Otto Octavius, also known as the criminal Dr. Octopus.

Joining Reed and Langkowski are She-Hulk (who at this point replaced the Thing as the strong person on the team), Michael Morbius, and Bruce Banner. All of them are experts in radiation and/or geniuses, so they came to help Reed figure out what's wrong with Sue, who is ailing and in the hospital. It seems Sue is in danger of losing her child due to radiation poisoning from the negative zone. Let this be a lesson to all prospective parents, don't travel interdimensionally after the first tri-meseter! We peer into She Hulk's mind and she gives some exposition about what's been going on in the last few issues. This is a kinder, gentler She-Hulk than the current version, whose comic was often a mix of Sex in the City, Ally McBeal, and dirty limericks. I dare say that Shulkie is likable in this book, but I digress...

Anyway, Reed doesn't want to involve Octavius, who is the leading authority on irradiated blood, because Octavius is a dangerous criminal. Bruce Banner tells Reed to suck it up and appeal to the scientist in Octavius, not the criminal. Reed agrees, knowing that time is of the essence.

Reed tells Sue that he needs to go and find one last expert, and though she knows something's amiss, she tells him to be careful.

Reed goes and gets a Fantasticar, and heads over to the Brookyln Psychiatric Ward. He talks to the resident psychiatrist/ pill pusher Dr. Jefferson and tells him the sitch (I hate that word, by the way, the "Ch" sound really grates on me). Jefferson is reluctant, and tells Reed to follow him. They go to Octavius' cell and find him making paper cut-outs, having reverted to a child-like state of understanding. Otto is at the point when he doesn't really even know he is really the criminal known as Dr. Octopus. Reed tells Otto that his wife and baby need help, and Otto agrees to go. Dr. Jefferson is amazed that Richards can coax Octavius in a manner befitting only a specially trained mental health specialist, but this is Reed we're talking about, the guy can do anything. The two super beings leave and the nurse comments about how it's a miracle that Reed got through to Ock. The other male psych ward holds up Ock's aforementioned cut outs, and they are in the shape of an octopus. Foreshadowing, anyone?

So Reed and Ock are going across town in the Fantasticar, discussing Sue's case. As they're flying, Ock spots a "Daily Bugle" billboard decrying the menace that is local superhero Spider-Man. Ock sees Spidey's picture, and becomes a little mentally unhinged. When Doctor Octavius often commits crimes under the alias of Doctor Octopus, he is more often than not defeated by Spider-Man, and you know villains and their grudges....

So Octopus mentally calls his detachable robotic arms, which are being transported to a prison across town, to come find him. In a scene straight out of Spider-Man 2, the arms destroy a room full of people and leap to the command of their creator. After leaving the scene of that crime, the arms attack Reed, destorying the Fantasticar and throwing Ock onto a building. Ock just sits there, controlling the arms with his mind, telling them to fight Richards. Good old Reed figures this out, and tells Ock to stop fighting him. Ock tells Reed that he knows this is all a ploy for Reed to show off his intelligence. Reed struggles with Ock's arms, which are apparently infinitely long (?????). Reed then devises that the chest plate which is connected to the arms still has a manual control, so he grabs a hold of it and controls the arms.

Now with control of Ock, Reed tells him that they need to stop fighting, because his wife and baby's lives are on the line. As a show of good faith, Reed releases the controls of the arms, and Ock knows it's serious. Reed gives him the decision to help or not, and it's left at that.

We cut to a scene with young Jonathon Storm in tears and thinking to himself "It can't have ended like this!" Alicia Masters walks up to Johnny and asks what's wrong. He drags out some words about how they've traversed the universe, face monsters, etc. etc. without telling what happened. Then Reed shows up, and Johnny's fragile state of being tells him something is really wrong. Reed rushes in yelling for his wife, and the doctor stops him.

The doctor tells Reed that Sue is fine, but she lost the baby a little over 30 minutes ago.

What I thought- I knew going into this issue that this was one of John Byrne's more famous Fantastic Four stories. I knew the basic plot and ending of the issue already from years of reading Wizard magazine and "greatest stories" countdowns, etc., but none of them prepared me for how emotionally powerful this issue was. I think it all hinges on Reed's desperation for his wife and child. The fact that he would literally do anything he could and still it's not enough casts this huge sense of powerlessness over the entire story, making it that much more dramatic. Johnny sums all this up with his bit, really describing the incredible irony of the situation. Here are beings who fought off Galactus (more than once). yet they could do nothing for this innocent child.

There's not much more I can say about this issue, other than it was the perfect mix of emotion and superheroics. Anyone who doubts Reed Richards needs to read this issue, because it speaks volumes as to his character.

Fantastic Four #261

2009-12-12T14:11:00.001-06:00

Fantastic Four #261-"The search for Reed Richards"

Cover Date: Dec. 1983 price $.60

Cover Tagline (New Feature!): "The Search for Reed Richards!"

Writer/ Artist: John Byrne

Story: This issue opens with a splash page of Namor, Marvel Comics's king of Atlantis, totally frenching the Invisible Woman. He is kissing Sue on the roof of the Baxter Building to remind her that he still thinks she's hot, and she actually tells him "you haven't lost your touch." For a story where Reed Richards is apparently missing (based on the title), this seems like a weird way to start an issue. Anyway, Namor and his wide-eyed, green bathing suit clad friend Marrina take leave of Sue and fly away.

Sue heads into the Baxter Building, thinking about how Doctor Doom has been destroyed, which apparently happened in the last issue. As the Baxter building is inexplicably empty, Sue calls out for Reed, Ben, and Johnny, but receives no answer. Sue gets worried and calls Avengers Mansion, because the last time Reed went out, he was on an adventure with the Avengers. Jarvis the Avengers' butler answers the phone, and tells Sue that the team has gone to S.H.I.E.L.D's space station to investigate a mystery beam. Sue thinks it 's weird that Reed left no words for her that he was off doing this type of stuff with other super teams.

Suddenly, Silver Surfer appears, and asks Sue what's up. Apparently he has been hanging around the Baxter Building after last issue. Silver Surfer was the one who killed Doctor Doom , and he calls his board to him from the scene of the crime so that he and Sue can fly off and talk to the Avengers about Reed. The two fly off to Avengers Mansion and talk to the Scarlet Witch, who tells Sue the terrible news that Reed was abducted by a mysterious intruder while examining the body of the android Vision. Apparently reed vanished without a trace, and Sue rightly freaks out. The Silver surfer uses his "Power Cosmic" to reconstruct what happened, and tells Sue that Reed is now far beyond Earth. Sue shoots the "4" flare into the sky and calls the team into action.

As Sue, Johnny, and Ben meet up together at the Baxter Building, they have a heated chat about how Sue shouldn't be charging into save Reed because she is indeed pregnant with her second child. But Sue lays the chain-of-command smack down on her two teammates and tells them that she is acting leader, and not some 1950's homemaker waif . She puts the two men (as well as every man reading the comic) in their place and makes no room for argument. So the 3 board a rocket for space, and there is yet another flashback to the origin of the team (seriously? was this a requirement for Byrne to show the team's origin in every other issue?)

The team flies to the moon, past the blue side where the Inhumans reside, to the home of Uatu, otherwise known as the Watcher. Johnny flies into the house half-cocked, looking for the Watcher, but only gets lost in the 4 dimensional space. The Watcher's schtick is that he is part of an alien race of guys with small bodies and big heads who "watch" all the events of the universe, cataloging the big things that happen with out intervening, unless the universe is in real danger. However, it always seems that Uatu is intervening, and this time he does as well, telling Sue that Reed being in trouble means that the universe is also in trouble. The Watcher uses his powers to make Johnny reappear, which is good, because the Torch probably would have been lost forever in the weirdness that is the Watcher's dimension. The Watcher then transports the Fantastic 3 to the place where Reed is kept, which is light years away.

The Watcher, Ben, Johnny, and Sue appear before a purple alien who identifies himself as Xxan Xxar. He greets them and tells them that he can lead them to Reed. He cordially leads them to a machine that is literally stretching Reed to the max. Xxan Xxar matter-of-factly tells Sue that the machine is in the process of executing Reed. Xxan Xxar is one cold mother...

Xxar recounts the story of how Reed struck a deal with Galactus that he would save Galactus' life in exchange for the big G not to eat Earth (which happened in FF#244). This meant that Galactus was free to live and go eat other planets such as the Skrull's homeworld( which had 7 billion inhabitants) so if effect, all that blood was on Reed's stretchy hands. Reed was abducted earlier in the issue by a council of aliens who want to preserve life in the galaxy and punish those who snuff it out (why don't they abduct Galactus then?) Ben goes to clobber Xxar, but he gets blasted by a beam of energy. This only further incites big Orange, and he breaks the machine that is stretching Reed. The place goes haywire until the Watcher steps in and calls a time out for everyone.

After everyone catches their breath, the alien council that decided Reed should be executed tells him that they may have acted too hastily in deciding his fate. Having been freed, Reed tells them that he saved Galactus out of a respect for life in general. As the council gets ready to reconsider their decisions against Richards, someone yells "NO!!", and it turns out it is Lilandra, from the Shi'ar empire (and from X-Men comics). She is standing with a Skrull and her mohawked friend the Gladiator, demanding that the Earthlings pay for their crimes. Lilandra declares that "Reed Richards must die!"... What a cliffhanger!

What I thought:

First of all, Johny Byrne's run on the Fantastic Four is considered legendary, and I am finding out why. This story has the Silver Surfer, Avengers, Namor, the Watcher, and the Shi'ar, and it's still good. The pacing is kind of weird, and I'm not sure why we need another origin flashback, but the story still reads well for being almost 3o years old.

As for the actual story, I don't know, it had some really funny moments. The whole Sue/ Namor make-out scene is one thing I'm still discovering about FF comics across generations. I know Sue and Namor have a history, but I thought they would stop kissing after she got married. It's kind of odd to see. It's almost like Sue is totally allowed to flirt with Namor, and Reed just understands it.

I'm going to make a blanket statement about the Watcher-he really sucks at just "watching" things. He is always intervening. I think the character is a great concept, especially for the story he was first used in (the coming of Galactus), but now he appears all the time. Events aren't even noteworthy when he shows up. "Hey let's have cake!"... and there's the Watcher.

I thought the trap that Reed was put into was rather creepy, and it's cool to see him stuck somewhere that he can't get out of (kind of like when he gets blasted into puddy in secret Invasion #1). I also thought it was great to see Sue take charge. I don't know what the official FF charter says, because I never knew she was second-in-command. I guess I always thought Ben would be. Until next time (trust me, I read ahead, and you won't want to miss what happens in the next review!), Vive le Fantastique!

Happy Thanksgiving From Your Friends at Four Freedoms!

2009-11-26T14:37:00.000-06:00

Fantastic Four #258

2009-11-25T23:00:00.000-06:00

Fantastic Four #258- "Interlude"

Cover Date- Sept 1983 Price $ .60

Writer: John Byrne Aritst: John Byrne

(Editor's Note- The word "Doom" appears a lot in this post. I apologize for the redundancies)

Story: This issues opens with the evil dictator ,Dr. Doom, looking out over Latveria's Capitol City of Doomstadt. There is much hustle and bustle, and it's revealed by Doom's thoughts that the subjects are rebuilding the city after a would-be upstart named Sorba recently tried to take over. Doom ponders for abit, and then a local gypsy comes by and tells him that Dr. Strange is looking for a new apprentice. Doom is intrigued, but he doesn't want to be the learner, only the master.

Doom then goes into his castle and visits with his young ward Kristoff. Kristoff's mother died while under Doom's protection, so now he showers the lad with love and attention. It's quite touching and really messed up to see Doom act like a loving father. The two spend the day doing dictatorial things: checking on the Doombots, deciding between the matters of subjects a la King Solomon, etc. etc.

The next day, old Vic gets a bite to eat (somehow while still wearing his armored mask) from his personal chef, and is interrupted via communicator by his lackey Hauptmann. Hauptmann calls DD down to his lab and shows him an invention that will infuse anyone who steps into with a power that's not unlike the Silver Surfer's Power Cosmic. Hauptmann tells the good Doc that the machines all warmed up and ready to go, so Doom does just what you'd expect- he throws Hauptmann inside. The massive amount of power turns Hauptmann into chalk dust in a matter of seconds, and Doom's theory that a normal human body being too frail for the machine is proven correct.

DD then searches through his files for a suitable body to put into the machine. Young Kristoff returns and suggests that Doom ask Magneto, because Mags' powers almost rival Doom's. Doom lifts the child in the air and yells at him that "No one rivals Doom! NO ONE!"

Yes, threatening kids- the hallmark of a true supervillain. Kristoff scampers back to his room and Doom goes back to his task. He finds a suitable name, of a yet-to-be revealed character...

Later, in Manhattan, a pair of Doombots skulk through a hospital hallway. Looking for Doom's query, they find a room with a patient whose bones have all been broken from a great fall. The patients in total traction, and his eyes burn with rage as he gazes upon the D-Bots. They grab the patient, and cart him back to Latveria.

Over the course of 6 weeks, Doom nurses the mystery patient back to health. When finally rested, we find out the injured patient is none other than Tyros. Tyros used to be the intergalactic scourge known as Terrax the Destroyer, but lost his powers and fell off the top of the World Trade Center after a fight with the Fantastic Four. Doom uses this fact to entice Terrax into getting into the machine that the dear departed Hauptmann had created. Since Terrax is an alien, his physiology can handle the massive powers bestowed by the machine. Terrax gets in, powers up, and flies away on a Green Goblin like glider, intent on exacting his revenge on the Fantastic Four. Doom is happy, mostly because he knows that Terrax's body can only handle the power for about 5 hours before he becomes the next Hauptmann. Doom is going to let Terrax soften the FF a bit before he finishes the job. I guess that's why they call the issue "interlude"!

What I Thought: If you like Dr. Doom even a little bit, you need to read this comic. It's an entertaining spotlight on a much used villain whose characterizations have become rather stilted over the years. Sometimes the good doctor is a dictator who cares about maintaining his power over his nation and people, sometimes he's a cliched mindless supervillain type, sometimes he's just a bit player who really appears for no reason other than the fact that Dr. Doom is cool(see Mighty Avengers). I think this comic did a good job of portraying Doom as an evil, maniacal, egotist in any and all situations. And if you can't trust a megalomaniac to remain consistent, do you really want to read about him?

Until next time, vive la DOOM?