Thinking Outside the Box: Fantastic Four #277

(Editor's Note- For those of you out there who don't yet know my story, this blog started as a way for me to document my journey as I navigate my way through a giant box of Fantastic Four comics that I won on eBay. Although I've always had a mild interest in the team, buying such a large lot of their comics at once ignited within me a mad desire to go back and buy any and all of the other FF comics I can get my hands on. For those comics bought after the initial box of 163, I confer upon them "outside the box" status.)

Fantastic Four #277-"Full Circle"
Cover Date: APR 1985 Price $.65
Cover Tagline: "The World's Greatest Comic Magazine" Writer/Artist: John Byrne


What Happened: For details on what happened in the beginning of this storyline, please follow this link. This story picks up pretty much where #276 left off, but in a rather interesting manner. Told entirely in "split-screen", this issue is like two full plots for the price of one. Or at the very least, it's like 2 player Goldeneye for the Nintendo 64. Yeah, it's that exciting.


In the top half story, we get the return of Ben Grimm, a.k.a the superhero known as the Thing, to Earth from the Planet of the "Secret Wars." The Thing is back and for some reason wearing boots and a black unitard, and his first order of business is to visit his longtime gal friend Alicia Masters. Of course, Ben opens Alicia's door to find none other than his supposed best friend Johnny Storm shacking up with her. In a moment that's been a long time coming, Ben calls Johnny out for being the player that he is.



The two argue, and of course, Alicia breaks it up. Alicia slaps Grimm (proving she really is blind), and tells him that it's more than hanky-panky, she actually loves Johnny. While the Thing never intended to actually get back together with Alicia, he feels slighted that he wasn't even able to express this to her without the "love struck Romeo" getting in the way.


As the lover's triangle heats up, Ben notices that something weird is going on . He turns to see strange happenings with the Sun. Apparently an alien world is hurling towards the Earth. Talk about the best moment ever for a distraction. As Ben, Johnny, and Alicia wonder what's going on, the entire Earth begins to shake. The two heroes spring into action,as Ben rushes off to help people and Johnny goes to drop Alicia off at the Baxter Building. While there, Johnny meets up with she-Hulk and the always politically incorrect Wyatt Wingfoot, who tells him that reports of damage are coming in from all over, meaning that the new planet in the sky is quite a threat. Johnny tells everyone to hang tight, and flies off. Alicia yells for her darling to be careful, revealing that her Johnny got a "thang" going on. This prompts She-Hulk to ask the obvious question: What will Ben think?! And Alicia mentions he just found out. At these revelations, She-Hulk realizes her time with the FF may be coming to a close...


We shift back to the Thing talking to a hottie on the street, asking if she needs help (because it's always more fun to save hot people), and she tells him that the "world-merge" is happening as she transforms into a really ugly orange creature. The creature shoots a tentacle into the Thing's head, and he realizes it must be a "Dire Wraith." Of course! That's totally logical?????

Anyway, the Wraith promptly passes out, and we find out that its entire planet has been destroyed by a space station. The editor's note tells us to read Rom #65 for details. Did you know this was some kind of crossover issue? Surprise! neither did I....

Any way, the top story ends with She-Hulk saying she will leave the team now that Ben has returned, even though it saddens her to do so. Ben tells her not to worry, because he doesn't want his job back. Apparently his new boots (and unitard) were made for walkin!

The Bottom half of the story is more of a direct continuation of the main story from last issue (as well as the video review). Last issue ended with Dr. Strange, Marvel's master of magic, feeling a great disturbance in the force, and flying off to combat the problem. As his story opens, he finds that the small Connecticut town that was attacked last issue is smoldering and surrounded by police. Strange approaches the cops disguised as an average doctor, just lending a hand, and is shocked to find that there are a few dead bodies laying on the street- those of Reed, Sue, and Franklin Richards.

As strange is taken aback by the fact that the heroes seem all but lost (and I'm taken aback by the fact that Sue is in her underwear for some reason), everyone's favorite paranoid budinski Mrs. Chalmers shows up to tell the police that her neighbors were really demons in disguise. Strange's interest is piqued, and Chalmers reveals that she hired the exorcist Elspeth Cromwell to dispatch the evil pretenders...

We cut to a scene of Susan Richards (no longer in her undies but in full FF gear) being tortured in Hades by Mephisto, Marvel Comics answer to the Devil. As any good husband would, Reed tells Mephisto to get his brimstone scorched hands off his wife. Mephisto goes onto show Reed whose boss, in a comically frightening manner, by stretching his face like silly puddy.

And like any good wife (geez, Reed and Sue love each other, we get it), Sue yells at Mephisto to stop, before he kills Reed. Old Phisty says that deaths not a problem anymore, and proves it by impaling the Invisible Woman on a stalactite, or stalagmite, or big poky thing. As she writhes in pain, Dr. Strange appears to help the FF. Phisty knocks the good Dr. back, and Strange realizes the demon is getting a power boost from a nearby crystal. Strange then notices that the crystal contains none other than Franklin Richards. Strange goes to free Frankie, and Reed realizes that Mephisto is afraid of the lad.

Reed also realizes that the FF aren't actually dead, but just in a mental form of their bodies, and that's why they're in their uniforms and not their underwear. Strange blows open the crystal, and Frankie wakes up in a haze. Mephisto goes to clobber the boy, but then this happens:



Franklin, as a powerful reality shaping mutant, literally wishes Mephisto away.


Well, the FF wake up from death, and Dr. Strange lets Mrs. Chalmers know that she severely misjudged her neighbors. He also says that Mephisto probably isn't gone for good, and may be back someday to ruin Spider-Man's marriage in a poorly-conceived and divisive storyline. Oh, and by the way, Elspeth Cromwell doesn't wake up. Ding Dong, the witch hunters dead, and it's pretty much thanks to Mrs. Chalmers....


What I Thought: Normally, my thinking outside the box reviews won't be this long, but I'm glad to say that this was one of the best issues I've read of FF since I started buying heinous amounts of them.

I think what made this issue so satisfying was that it tied up a few storylines with an urgent sense of pacing. We FINALLY see the Johnny/Ben/Alicia thing come to a head, the Mephisto story gets a quick ending, and even the worst part of the story (the Rom tie-in) is brushed aside inconsequentially enough for it to be ignored. The split-screen storytelling may seem cheap and gimmicky, but at least it's something different. I've stated many times that John Byrne did a lot of different things during his time with the FF, and this issue is another example. I feel like a broken record saying that but it's true. I mean seeing Mephisto torturing the FF in Hades is something I don't exactly expect from my monthly FF comics, but Byrne used the situation to allow the characterizations of Reed, Sue, and Franklin to really shine.

Well that's it for now. I start my summer vacation tomorrow night, so I hope to unveil a new feature or two here within the week!!! See you soon, and until unitards become cool, vive le fantastique!

Did you even know we were at war?

Fantastic Four #275

Fantastic Four #275-"The Naked Truth"

Cover Date: Feb 1985 Price $.60

Cover Quote: "Hey guys--what's big and green and has a staple in her navel?"

Writer/Artist -Johny Byrne

(Editor's note- this is pretty much a farce of a comic. Any unbelievable situations described by the reviewer are in fact true to the story, which is credited as Kevin Nowlan's idea.)

We begin this issue with a splash page of She-Hulk sunbathing on the top of the Baxter Building. While the Buxom beauty lies with a towel, jean shorts, and a smile, we cut to a sleazy photographer and his pilot friend circling the jade giantess in a helicopter. The chopper pulls in close, sending a large amount of wind the She -Hulk's way. Her towel goes flying, and the photog gets the money shot he hoped for. Wow, that's the craziest 2 pages ever in a FF comic. And they've seen some messed up stuff!

She-Hulk, feeling as if her privacy has been violated, retaliates by jumping on the chopper. As the pilot tries to shake his hanger-on, everyone's favorite Atlanta Brave single tear shedding Native American cliche Wyatt Wingfoot (who had rejected his role of Chief to live a life of adventure) emerges from the Baxter Building, scantily clad and looking for the She-Hulk. Apparently he was going to do some sunbathing himself, either that or her was doing a really excellent unarmored Peter Rasputin impression. Seeing the chopper situation, Wingfoot gets a small "Fantasti-speeder" (copyright me!) and gives chase.

In a really well-executed scene, the She-Hulk is thrown from the chopper and flies through a high rise office. Wyatt comes to her aid, and by the time they get their wits about them the copter is gone. The two head back to the Baxter Building and decide to fight this battle using not brawn, but the She-Hulk's superhuman ultra lawyer powers. Juris prudence away!!

The She Hulk calls the radio station that the copter belongs to (it was a Traffic Copter), asking if they could tell her where it touches down. The surprisingly forthright station manager gives her the name of the private airstrip, and advances the plot rather quickly for the 2 panels in which he appears. I don't know about you, but I usually have to make like 4 phone calls whenever I have errands to take care,of, and one of those calls ends up being with some guy in India who HAS to read from a script and pretend that he has no personality.

So Shulkie and Wyatt find the pilot, threaten him, and find out who bought the photos-a yet unnamed source. But from this scene we jump to Alicia Masters' apartment, where she is walking down the stairs with her Sinead O Connor haircut and no pants. Normally those two things could be excused by the fact that she's blind, but she appears to be doing the classic "walk of shame." Alicia is calling out for Johnny Storm, a.k.a. the Human Torch, who is waiting with the "morning after" coffee at the bottom of the stairs. Alicia is the ex-girlfriend of the Thing, who is Johnny's best friend and teammate. The Thing at this point has not returned to the ranks of the FF because he's off having other adventures, and Johnny and Alicia have grown quite close in his absence.

Johnny tells Alicia he's sorry about last night feels like he took advantage of their friendship, she assures him that they're grown ups and they can do what and or who they want. Okay, she's more eloquent then that, but seeing these two together in this situation made me want to rip this issue to shreds. It was one of those moments where I felt like the Thing was really my friend, and I had to stand up for him...that's really dumb.

So back in the other sexually related plot thread, the She-Hulk is going to the place that bought her photos, but in her normal human form as Jennifer Walters. Wyatt accompanies Walters to serve as a bodyguard, and so he can score major brownie points. Walters, who resembles her cousin Bruce Banner quite a bit in her human form enters the offices of the tabloid known as "The Naked Truth" (a subsidiary of the Daily Bugle...ok, not really) , and asks for Mr. Vance.

Mr. Vance, who seems like a cross between Stan Lee and Larry Flynt, tells Walters that She-Hulk is a public figure and that she shouldn't have been sunbathing in public. Vance expounds upon the facts that the pictures are already printed, and that he already made a fortune, which he's keeping in a small safe in his office. Apparently the money went right to his head, because he couldn't resist telling that to his two guests. Jennifer Walters then turns into the She-Hulk, crumples the safe full of money into a ball, and hands it to Mr. Vance. Shulkie and Wyatt leave the office, knowing that at least they stopped the perv from getting his payment for the pics.

In the story's "epilog" (don't look at me, that's what it says), we are shown a scene 3 weeks later at the Baxter Building. A "business casual" Reed finds Sue and asks her is she's okay. Apparently something big happened, because Sue is looking in on her son Franklin and talking about the great distress they all just went through. I missed something I guess, but it has been a 6 issue gap between this issue and the last one I reviewed. Reed tells Sue that he's ready to go out and see "Little Shop of Horrors", and then sees that She-Hulk is depressed as well. He asks her what's up, and she tells them it's the past few days (What did I miss???), and that the magazine comes out. Just then, Johnny "worst friend ever" Storm flies in the window holding a copy of the mag.

Johnny shows She-Hulk the pictures, and to her delight, someone had color corrected her green skin to look more flesh colored, because they thought there was a defect in the original photo. Johnny tells She-Hulk that he needs the magazine back, because he has a pair of green tinted glasses in his room. The comic ends on the Torch flying to his room and the She-Hulk chasing him down. It's like something out a sitcom....an 80's sitcom. "Sit Ubu ,sit."

What I Thought: I saved my more sarcastic moments for this portion of the post, given the very ridiculous nature of the story to begin with. First of all, She-Hulk is green. Does she really need to tan her green skin? From the looks of it, Jennifer Walters is the one who needs a tan. And the end of the issue, with Johnny and his "green tinted glasses." Dude, it's a naked girl, shouldn't that be enough? I mean use a little imagination if the color is that big of an obstacle.

And Johnny and Alicia- look, I'm not a prude, and I'm not uninformed about Fantastic Four history. I know Johnny and Alicia have a big long relationship that turns into an even bigger storyline, but it was weird to see a Fantastic Four comic show "the morning after" for anyone but Reed and Sue. Even then, it's a really weird thought. It might just be me that feels that way, maybe I am a prude..... I am a prude.

Overall, this comic was fun. It was a good change of pace from the other stories. I think this is why Byrne was so great on this book, he put these characters in a lot of varied situations. I think what all writers/ artists strive for with the FF is the feeling like it's "family first", but the family could go anywhere, and most end up taking them to the Negative Zone ad nauseum. Despite it's soap opera elements, I can see that this issue never set out to take itself too seriously, so I won't even try to either. So until Johnny gets an imagination, vive le fantastique!