Fantastic Four #320

Fantastic Four 320-“Pride Goeth...”
Cover Date Nov 1988 Price $.75
Writer/ Artist-Steve Englehart/ Keith Pollard
Cover Tagline: “The Shadow of Doom!"," The Thing vs. The Hulk"
Number of issues since last box pull: 13

(Editor's Note- Now that I have some free time over break, I'm going to try and get back on the horse. It has been quite some time since I've pulled from "the"box", but I think I'm ready. Let's forget issue 317 ever happened and enjoy the mindless action that is #320!)

What Happened: This issue begins as a continuation of a story from Hulk #349, a comic I admittedly neglected from my pull list (considering how I was 3 years old at the time it came out). A newly intelligent grey skinned (and tuxedoed) Hulk is lunging for Dr. Doom in retaliation for being dragged into the Las Vegas desert.

The jade giant...er...heather gray giant is understandably miffed at being pulled away from all the penny slots and goes to fight with the leader of Latveria, only to be zapped by a power beam. The not-so-good doctor explains that the beam is a neural disruptor(tens years before M.I.B.!), and as the Hulk is physically incapacitated, Doom wishes simply to chat. Hulk no am understand.....

Doom explains to a less than interested grey Hulk that he recently took a journey to see the Beyonder, and while he was absent the protocols were enacted to call up his protege to run his kingdom of Latveria.

Doom hopes Hulk will go back to Latveria and help him regain the throne via brute strength (after all, Hulk smash), but the Hulk politely declines. Doom says thats okay, and then tells the Hulk that he didn't know turning gray made him into a scared little girl as well.Before Hulk can offer a rebuttal, Doom tells him he's not offended, because he has another strong man in mind to help carry out his plan. Namely, one Benjamin J. Grimm, a.ka the hero known as The Thing!
Intelligent or not, the Hulk always lets taunts roll off of him with all the class of a WWE wrestler. Rowdy Roddy Hulk tells Doom he can best the Thing six ways from Sunday, and citing the many other comics where the two have clashed. See, the old imbecilic Hulk never would have cited precedence! The stage is now set for the Hulk to attack the Thing, and Dr. Doom could not be more pleased. Come on Doom, we already have one "puppet master" in the FF universe, stop aping his gig!

The scene shifts over to NYC, with the "Fantastic" Four catching up about their latest escapade. It seems that over the past few issues the team had gone to meet with the Beyonder at the Crossroads of Infinity. The team decides it's time for some R&R by going for a ferry ride. Johnny, Alicia, and Ms. Marvel (who still looks like "Mrs. Thing" at this point) invite Ben Grimm along, but as team leader, he feels compelled to hang out at the base. The Thing ponders the role of leadership as he heads to the roof for some sunbathing, or to drop pennies, or to smush birds, or whatever (it's not really clear why he's taking the elevator straight to the roof).

(The editor's note tells us "Reed Richards, the original FF leader." Thanks, I was totally lost!)

Any way it's all good, because as Ben pauses the Hulk totally gets the jump on him. Oh, I see! The Thing headed to the roof so he could do his daily "move the plot along" exercises! As the Hulk gives the thing a nice big "Ba-Wham!", the caption pretty much lets us know the "substance" part of the issue is over--

The rest of the issue is pretty much Superman #75, without Jimmy Olsen or a polybag. Seriously, it's just like 12 pages of The Thing and The Hulk beating on each other.
Pollard and Marvel totally have a case against Dan Jurgens!

The Thing and Hulk duke it out, each noting that the other is stronger than they remembered. The Hulk keeps his newfound intelligence a secret, and the Thing's edgier form gives him what seems to be the inside track to victory. This is all well and good, until the very end of the issue, when a very special guest star shows up to provide an interesting cliffhanger.


Ladies and Gentlemen, your hero.....The Green Hulk!? Hmmm, I honestly didn't see that coming. Also, note the originality of the plot next issue. The She-Hulk (a female version of the Hulk) is going to fight Ms. Marvel (who looks like a female version of the Thing). If you don't know why that sounds familiar, hit "refresh" on your browser and read the review that comes up!

What I Thought: This comic delivers everything it says it will, but given the fact you can the glean the ENTIRE storyline from the cover, that's not saying much. Think Scott Pilgrim+Street Fighter+A Godzilla movie divided by the aforementioned Superman#75 and you've got the average intelligence of this issue. I say that honestly, but since this comic is from 1988, I'll cut it some slack. For an all-out action issue, the art certainly delivers some punishing looking blows. The Thing and Hulk go pound-for-pound, "spok"ing and "krak"ing their way through the city streets. The best sound effect by far was the Thing's knockout blow:"Ramp!" Outside of someone actually speaking the word, have you ever heard anything make that noise?

Will this issue go down in history as a highlight of the FF from the 80's? No. Will it go down as the best Hulk/Thing matchup? No. Does it provide a fun and action filled romp between two heavyweight favorites? Most Definitely. Like the many Wolverine/Sabretooth throwdowns in comic history, this issue provides another chapter in a rivalry that needs to be revisited every now and then. Nothing more, nothing less. So until The Hulk becomes The Million Dollar Hulk and The Thing becomes "Thing-Kind", vive la fantastique!

Fantastic Four #307

Fantastic Four #307- “Good-bye”
Cover Date/ Price: Oct 1987 $.75
Writer/ Artist- Steve Englehart/ John Buscema/ Joe Sinnott
Cover Tagline: “To Duel With Diablo”
Number of issues between last box pull: 10

What Happened: This fine looking issue starts with a trio of terrifically dressed travelers: Reed Richards, Sue Richards, and Franklin Richards as they get ready to depart from their lives as superheroes. It seems in the issues since I last read from “the box,” Reed and Sue have decided that it would be in the best interests of their young son to move to Connecticut and live a “normal” life.

As the Richards’ spend a few pages saying their goodbyes, we see that the Fantastic Four will continue on with some slight changes in membership. The new lineup will consist of Ben Grimm as the team leader, the Human Torch, the element controlling Inhuman known as Crystal, and the female powerhouse known as Ms. Marvel.


An unexpected lineup for sure, but it brings to mind a question: Which of these characters is the genius-level intellect that serves as a good replacement for Reed? The last time I checked, Crystal wasn’t very close to making her own ultimate nullifier…

Reed tells the Thing that he has earned the right to command the team, and Ben makes the former Mr. Fantastic promise that he won’t come back to save the day the first time the new team falters.

Meanwhile, Johnny flies off to go see his WIFE (I didn’t review that one, apparently…) Alicia Masters, and the two have a scintillating discussion about when the furniture for their apartment will arrive. I only mention it because it has some relevance later.

We cut to a scene at the hospital, where the super villain known as Diablo lies in head-to-toe bandages after being beaten in a near coma by Ms. Marvel last issue. While the doctors talk about the villains wounds, his thoughts reveal that he’s got another trick up his sleeve, well, actually another trick up his moustache.

Apparently Diablo keeps his magic potions all over his body, and he sucks on his moustache to give him a real pick-me-up (I don’t write em folks, I just read em…). The revived Diablo gives us a little history lesson about his life, and it turns out he is the master of Alchemy from a time long past. After he reminisces, he stands and swears revenge on Ms. Marvel…

We cut back to Johnny and Alicia’s love-nest, where the young man is startled by a loud crashing sound. It seems that an audio speaker has fallen into a glass table. Alicia feels embarrassed for breaking it, and swears the table wasn’t there a second ago (I guess her “radar sense” from issue #296 wore off). As Johnny uses his power to weld the glass back together, a purple monster emerges from the table! It turns out the table was possessed. Apparently the whole city is sharing this same wackiness, as the ground outside starts breaking apart and growing tentacles. Johnny decides this is a job for the Fantastic Four and rushes Alicia to safety at FF Plaza…

The new FF groups together, and Crystal realizes that the whole city transmuting could only be the work of the Diablo. As the team surveys the changes taking form, they see that the hospital where Diablo was staying has now taken the form of an old timey castle. As Ben and Ms. Marvel (who goes by the name Sharon Ventura at this point in comic continuity) attack the front door, Johnny and Crystal fly ahead to scout out what’s going on. While the Thing fights alongside the super strong Ms. Marvel, his thoughts reveal that an ongoing attraction for the red clad hottie. Distracted by her raucous attitude and taut bod, the Thing gets blindsided by one of Diablo’s monsters. Let this be a lesson, if you want to keep your head in the game, always hire an uggo to join your superteam instead of a stone cold fox…

We find Johnny and Crystal having similar luck, as the two former lovers argue with one another as they fight Diablo’s machinations inside the castle. Crystal is edgy because she is undergoing a rough patch in her own marriage, and Johnny is worried that she wants to impose upon his recent marriage to Alicia Masters. The two yell at each other some more, and Crystal runs off to face Diablo alone. Just then, Ben and Sharon break in, and the team joins up to face Diablo together.

The FF corner Diablo, and just as he is about to pull another potion from his moustache (So. Incredibly. Lame), Ms. Marvel grabs him and foils his dastardly plan. The big D gives up, and much like the ending to an episode of Scooby-Doo, he is quickly carted away by the authorities. If it wasn’t for those meddling superheroes….

We end the issue with the team chillaxin at FF Plaza (because that’s what people do there!), noting that they once they actually worked together like a team, Diablo didn’t stand a chance. You think most of these characters would have learned that lesson about 300 issues ago, but I guess it’s always nice for a refresher….

What I Thought: I honestly NEVER knew about this incarnation of the team, and that made it a total blast to read this issue. Although a lot of time is spent with Reed and Sue saying goodbye, there is an actually feeling that they’re leaving the team for a while. Of course, any real comics fan knows that a team member’s departure is going to be short lived, but it always livens things up to bring in some new blood for a while.

I will say that in reality, a person probably wouldn’t assemble a team of exes to serve alongside them in their superheroic purposes. While it lends itself to drama for the readers, I’m just a little unsure that a group like this would work out. It’s almost too much of a forced soap opera spin, but at least in this instance I was kind of hooked.

Overall, this issue felt like a really entertaining Saturday morning cartoon. There are some interesting little character interactions, we get the villain’s backstory in a quickie flashback (which is great because I didn’t know anything about Diablo), and the “fight” is wrapped up in a neat little package. There’s even the whole “lesson” type epilogue, a la “Saved by the Bell.”

I haven’t looked ahead to see which issue is next from “the box,” but I hope it still features this team. While I don’t think I’ll ever stomach an FF team that features a full time aberration of the original lineup, I always like to see the rise and fall of these substitute teams. So until Diablo decides to shave off his moustache, vive le fantastique!

Hello Nurse!